Quentin Crisp

Quentin Crisp (December 25, 1908(1908-12-25) - November 21, 1999), born Denis Charles Pratt, was an English writer, artist's model, actor and raconteur known for his memorable and insightful witticisms. He became a gay icon in the 1970s after publication of his memoir, The Naked Civil Servant, brought to the attention of the general public his defiant exhibitionism and longstanding refusal to remain in the closet

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Decency...must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head, make their point of constructive criticism and continue on in calm forbearance. Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
Even holligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.
Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour. With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow's hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life.
For flavor, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation to which the filing system has been lost?
Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously. Adultery Phooey You should never subjugate yourself to another nor seek the subjugation of someone else to yourself. If you follow that Crispian principle you will be able to say 'Phooey,' too, instead of reaching for your gun when you fancy yourself betrayed.
Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing; nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously. Adultery? Phooey! You should never subjugate yourself to another nor seek the subjugation of someone else to yourself. If you follow that Crispian principle you will be able to say Phooey, too, instead of reaching for your gun when you fancy yourself betrayed.
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
Life was a funny thing that occured on the way to the grave.
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.
The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
The young always have the same problem -- how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe

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