|
Groucho Marx Quotes
|
|
Famous Groucho Marx Quotations
|
|
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977), was an American comedian and film star
|
- A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx »
- Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Groucho Marx »
- Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx »
- Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Groucho Marx »
- From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx »
- Go, and never darken my towels again.
Groucho Marx »
- I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx »
- I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx »
- I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx »
- I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Groucho Marx »
- I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.
Groucho Marx »
- I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Groucho Marx »
- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx »
- I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Groucho Marx »
- I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Groucho Marx »
- If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.
Groucho Marx »
- In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
Groucho Marx »
- It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx »
- Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx »
- My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx »
- No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Groucho Marx »
- Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx »
- Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Groucho Marx »
- Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows--marriage does.
Groucho Marx »
- She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx »
- The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx »
- Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Groucho Marx »
- Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
Groucho Marx »
- Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx »
- You are only as old as the woman you feel.
Groucho Marx »
|
|
|
Search for Groucho Marx on  & 
|
|
|
|
|
