Josh Billings

United States humorist who wrote about rural life (1818-1885)

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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.Rate it:
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.Rate it:
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.Rate it:
It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.Rate it:
It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.Rate it:
The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.Rate it:
We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do.Rate it:
Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.Rate it:
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.Rate it:
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.Rate it:
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.Rate it:
After enlightenment, the laundry.Rate it:
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.Rate it:
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.Rate it:
Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as they ought to be done.Rate it:
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.Rate it:
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.Rate it:
Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.Rate it:
Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.Rate it:
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail then you can let go when you want to.Rate it:
Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.Rate it:
Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.Rate it:
Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.Rate it:
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.Rate it:
Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.Rate it:
I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.Rate it:
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.Rate it:
It ain't what folks know that's the problem, it's what they know that ain't so.Rate it:
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.Rate it:
Knowledge is like money the more he gets, the more he craves.Rate it:
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.Rate it:
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.Rate it:
Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners.Rate it:
Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.Rate it:
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.Rate it:
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.Rate it:
My son, observe the postage stamp! Its usefulness depends upon its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.Rate it:
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.Rate it:
One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.Rate it:
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.Rate it:
Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.Rate it:
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.Rate it:
Some folks as they grow older grow wise, but most folks simply grow stubborner.Rate it:
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.Rate it:
The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.Rate it:
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.Rate it:
The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.Rate it:
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.Rate it:
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.Rate it:
The trouble with people is not that they dont know but that they know so much that aint so.Rate it:
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.Rate it:
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.Rate it:
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.Rate it:
What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.Rate it:
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.Rate it:

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