Kin Hubbard

Frank McKinney Hubbard (born 1 September 1868 in Bellefontaine, Ohio - died: 26 December 1930 in Indianapolis, Indiana) was an American cartoonist, humorist, and journalist better known by his pen name "Kin" Hubbard

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The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on.
Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst.
One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
Politics makes strange postmasters.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
The world gels better every day -- then worse again in the evening.
Why doesn't the fellow who says, I'm no speechmaker let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

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