- A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. Ogden Nash »
- A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. Ogden Nash »
- An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. Ogden Nash »
- I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. Ogden Nash »
- If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. Ogden Nash »
- Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash »
- Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave. Ogden Nash »
- Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. Ogden Nash »
- People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. Ogden Nash »
- People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. Ogden Nash »
- Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. Ogden Nash »
- To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash »
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