Ogden Nash

United States writer noted for his droll epigrams (1902-1971)

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An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.Rate it:
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.Rate it:
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.Rate it:
A flea and a flyRate it:
And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.Rate it:
He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.Rate it:
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.Rate it:
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.Rate it:
Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.Rate it:
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.Rate it:
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.Rate it:
Nietsche is Pietsche."Rate it:
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave.Rate it:
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.Rate it:
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.Rate it:
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.Rate it:
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.Rate it:
Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long.Rate it:
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.Rate it:
Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.Rate it:
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.Rate it:
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.Rate it:
The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.Rate it:
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up.Rate it:
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.Rate it:
When there are monsters there are miracles.Rate it:

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"Ogden Nash Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2015. Web. 28 Mar. 2015. <http://www.quotes.net/authors/Ogden Nash>.

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