United States humorist (1889-1945)

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A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedence, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
A great many people have come up to me and asked me how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. My answer is 'Don't you wish you knew'
I do most of my work sitting down that's where I shine.
The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.

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