Biloxi Blues [1988]

Genre: Comedy, Drama
Part 2 of Neil Simon's semiautobiographical theater trilogy about his growth from adolescence into adulthood, this film was a vast improvement over the film version of Brighton Beach Memoirs. Directed by Mike Nichols and starring Broadway star Matthew Broderick as Simon's stand-in, Eugene Jerome, the story follows him from the nest of Brooklyn to army basic training in Biloxi, Mississippi, where he gets his introduction to the world beyond Coney Island. He encounters, among other things, racism, a drill sergeant who seems to be a nutcase (a hilarious Christopher Walken), and his introduction to paying sex (Broderick is particularly funny in this scene with Park Overall). Extremely entertaining mainstream fare done in a high-quality fashion. --Marshall Fine

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Eugene Morris Jerome:
Hey, what if she's ugly. I mean, really ugly.

Selridge:
Then you close your eyes and you think of some cheerleader.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I don't want to close my eyes, that's the same as doing it to yourself.

Selridge:
Not if you're feeling someone underneath you, or on top of you.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
On top of me? Who would be on top of me?

Selridge:
She would. She could be anywhere. Under a table, on a chair, or an ironing board.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
On an ironing board? What kind of girl is this? I thought we were going to a regular place.

Selridge:
Don't you know anything?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Maybe not in actual experience, but I have all the information I need.

Selridge:
You don't know shit, Jerome. Do you know how many positions there are?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
American or worldwide?

Carney:
(laughs) This guy is a riot.

Selridge:
For five bucks, how many positions are there?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Let me think.

Selridge:
Do you want me to tell you?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
No.

Selridge:
I'm gonna tell you. There are seventeen acceptable positions.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic committee that votes on positions.

Carney:
I can't believe this guy is from New York.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Besides, you're wrong. There's fifty-two positions.

Selridge:
Fifty-two? You're crazy. Where did you ever get that from?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I saw a dirty deck of cards once.

Selridge:
This jerk is worse than Epstein.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
You owe me five bucks.

Selridge:
Hey, listen, twerp. You're lucky if you do one position.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I'm not doing anything if it's on an ironing board.

Carney:
Why not? You'll get your shirt pressed for free.

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