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Sam the Keeper: Strange things a-happenin, strange things a-doin, strange things a-goin on.
Natalie: What are you hiding from me, Noel? Tell me the truth!
Noel: In due time, you'll know everything.
Natalie: Well, maybe then it's too late!
Natalie: Wuur-wilf? You mean Joel thinks this thing is a wuur-wilf?
Natalie: What's wrong? Paul!
Paul Niles: I don't know. It's like a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I was running in the streets... doing "things".
Joel: Whatcha got there?
Bill: Silver Bullet!
Joel: Huh! Me Too!
Sam the Keeper: Mr. Niles, I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
Paul Niles: Huh, Is that so?
Sam the Keeper: Hey, you don't have to believe me but that's the facts!
Noel: They can also tell when a man is Yalloglanchie. He takes on a series of strange body habits, like sleeping like a coyote, nose to anus. The house begins to smell like coyote urine.
Sam the Keeper: I was just praying for the police! I think we should call the cops!
Noel: Look Yuri, What the hell is wrong with you? I suggest you stay out here and get sober before you rejoin the party and when you do your gonna apologize to Natalie! Now go take a walk!
Yuri: Yeah, I'll take a walk!
Paul Niles: Do you always greet people with a gun in your hand?
Sam the Keeper: What this? This is just to keep the flies down! There's some weird things happening around here!
Sam the Keeper: What's going on here? Oh my god? Help me? Holy Jesus God Father?