What Women Want 
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Nick Marshall: What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job still sucks.
Nick Marshall: There's way too much estrogen on television these days.
Darcy McGuire: I'm the man-eating bitch Darth Vader of the ad world.
Lola: You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman. Nick, come on, admit it. You're totally and completely gay!
Morgan: What, are you officially a woman now?
Nick Marshall: I can see elegant parties...
Darcy McGuire: You can see all that?
Nick Marshall: Well, maybe you're naked and I'm the only guest, but it's still elegant.
Nick Marshall: It's never too late to do the right thing. That's what I'll do, I'll go over there and do the right thing.
Nick Marshall: Have you ever done that, taken the wrong road? Of course not, you wouldn't do that, somebody like me does that.
Darcy McGuire: What kind of knight in shining armor would I be if the man I love needs rescuing and I just let him walk out my door?
Morgan: Can we walk AND talk? Because, in case you live, I don't wanna be late.
J.M. Perkins: If you know what women want, you can rule!
Lola: Okay, lied about the "grande"...
Lola: Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Marshall is a sex god!
Nick Marshall: What am I doing? She's not in the refrigerator.
Nick Marshall: I realize I haven't been the perfect dad.
Alex: Understatement of the century.
Nick Marshall: Oh... This is nice, I don't understand why women complain about waxing.
Nick Marshall: She thinks you're overpaid... and gay.
Alex: My dad? He's always been... like an uncle to me. Yeah, Uncle Dad.
Nick Marshall: Women are crazy! Who would want to do that again?
Nick Marshall: One down, two to go. He he.
Nick Marshall: Buns of steel... I'd steal her buns if I could.