Scooby-Doo

Daphne:
Those creatures are taking over the world... that's so mean.

Shaggy:
Who's your best buddy?

Scooby Doo:
Raggy

Shaggy:
That's right. And who's my best buddy in the whole wide world?

Scooby Doo:
Rooby Doo.

Mary Jane:
I'm Mary Jane.

Shaggy:
Like, that is my favorite name.

Shaggy:
Like, chill out, Scrappy. You didn't have to try and take over the whole world and destroy humanity.

Scrappy Doo:
It would have worked too if it wasn't for you meddling sons of...

Fred:
This is more embarrassing than the time you started cleaning your beans at Don Knotts' Christmas party.

Scrappy Doo:
I'm as cute as a Powerpuff Girl. I'll get my own show.

Scooby Doo:
What Now?

Shaggy:
Let's do what we do best Scoob, eat.

Scooby Doo:
It's plastic.

Shaggy:
What do you care? You drink out of the toilet.

Scooby Doo:
So do you.

Scooby Doo:
Ramburgers.

Velma:
Let's get jinky with it.

Scooby Doo:
Why's Fred in a bad mood?

Shaggy:
He's not in a bad mood, Scoob, he's a monster.

Shaggy:
Friends don't quit.

Fred:
Shaggy... Listen, man. Someone must have spiked my root beer last night. Talk me down, man. Talk me down.

Scooby Doo:
Okay.

Daphne:
I've got a major wedgie.

Shaggy:
Hey, Hong Kong Fooey. Watch the fists of fury.

Daphne:
Scooby. We're here to solve a mystery.

Velma:
Scooby-Doo. You're name means Scooby-poop.

Shaggy:
The only thing I like better than an eggplant burger is a chocolate covered eggplant burger.

Daphne:
I'm a black-belt now. I've transformed my body into a dangerous weapon.

Daphne:
Wait. I know how to deal with this guy. Hey, you.

Velma:
Yes that is masterful.

Velma:
All you care about are swimsuit models.

Fred:
Hey. I'm a man of substance. Dorky chicks like you turn me on, too.

Daphne:
I'm not helpless. I'm not helpless. I am helpless. I'm gonna die.

Shaggy:
This is, like, the opposite of what I wanted to do today.

Fred:
Yo-Yo the bi-atch was like what? And I was like layta on.

Shaggy:
Fred.

Fred:
Yo. What up, dawg?

Fred:
And, uh... dog?

Scooby Doo:
Keepin' it real.

Shaggy:
Sit grandma, bad grandma, don't eat the kitty.

Scooby Doo:
Raggy, rour ripped.

Shaggy:
Im whipped oh yeah why don't you say that to my face man.

Scooby Doo:
Rall Ray it right row, rour romma reats rat roop.

Shaggy:
No Scooby Doo your mom eats cat poop.

Shaggy:
Zoinks them peppers is like hot.

Fred:
Now listen up there is absolutely no such thing... MONSTER.

Island Emissary:
My employer would like you to solve a mystery on Spooky Island.

Shaggy:
Hold on, Man. We don't go anywhere with 'scary', 'spooky', 'haunted', or 'forbidden' in the title.

Scooby Doo:
Ror rydrocoronic.

Shaggy:
Or hydroclonic, but that's for a whole different reason, man.

Scooby Doo:
What's that?

Mondavarious:
It's a cat with a bobbing head, please don't touch it.

Velma:
Oh please. You get kidnapped so much you should come with your own ransom note.

Velma:
My glasses. Where's my glasses?

Daphne:
Who's helpless now?

Shaggy:
Like chill out, Scooby-Doo, stop shaking.

Scooby Doo:
Me? That's you.

Shaggy:
Oh right it's me, sorry.

Velma:
Kinda makes you nostalgic for the homicidal creatures, doesn't it?

Scrappy Doo:
Scrappy-Dappy-Doo.

Scooby Doo:
Hey.

Scrappy Doo:
Ghosts don't stand a chance with me, let me at em. I'll rock 'em and I sock 'em.

Fred:
Scrappy. for the thousandth time, there's no such things as ghost.

Scrappy Doo:
Sure there are, and when I find them I'll give them a good of puppy power

Scrappy Doo:
ta-da.

Daphne:
Oh God. he's peeing on me.

Melvin:
Melvin Doo?

Fred:
Mr. Mononucleosis, we have hit a clue smorgasboard.

Daphne:
Now, who's the damsel in distress?

Daphne:
Straight up.

Fred:
Fred just got his groove on.

Fred:
I'm me!

Daphne:
I'm back.

Shaggy:
Like, me too.

Velma:
Told you so.

Daphne:
Put me back, Shaggy. I'll figure a way out myself.

Shaggy:
Like how?

Daphne:
I don't know. I'll - I'll use my tongue, or I'll swim out to the edge.

Shaggy:
Sorry.

Fred:
Scrappy, I told you no urinating on Daphne.

Scrappy Doo:
It was an accident!

Fred:
You were marking your territory!

Shaggy:
Gee, Scrabs. There's no reason to freak out and act like a jerk and try to kill all humanity.

Scrappy Doo:
And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you sons of a bi...

Velma:
Jinkies! Fred? Come in, Fred. Fred, can you hear me?

Fred:
Fredster here, Velms.

Velma:
Shockingly, Daphne's been captured again. That's okay. When the Luna Ghost rounds the corner with Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby will pop out of the barrel--

Fred:
And you'll activate the conveyor belt, spilling the vat of oil onto the floor.

Velma:
Just remember my plan.

Velma:
Daphne? Are you okay?

Daphne:
I am so over this damsel in distress nonsense.

Fred:
Uh, where's Shagster?

Shaggy:
Like, I'm right here, man.

Scooby:
Me, too.

Shaggy:
Hey, Scoob, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again, huh?

Scooby:
Yeah! He-he-he-he!

Reporter:
Pam, any comments for us?

Pamela:
This is a victory for any celebrity who wants to make a quality, ecologically-friendly action figure.

Reporter:
Fred, what's the secret of your success?

Fred:
Teamwork. I do a tremendous amount of teamwork... and I always have a plan. Come on.

Velma:
[dejected] Yeah, my plan.

Fred:
I knew from the beginning there was never a phantom. The Luna Ghost is, in fact...

[Fred unmasks the Luna ghost]

Everyone:
Old Man Smithers?

Pamela:
The creepy janitor?

Fred:
Smithers wanted revenge after you refused to go out with him.

Smithers:
How could you, Pamela? I am a lover boy of George Clooney-an proportions.

Reporter:
Fred, how was the ghost able to fly?

Velma:
I can answer that. Watch. [she and Fred reveal what Smithers was wearing under his costume.] These balloons fill with a highly potent helium synthesis, giving the Luna Ghost his weightless appearance.

Smithers:
I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog! I'll get you for this!

Scooby:
Scooby-dooby-doo!

Daphne:
Some plan. That ghost pawed me for an hour and a half.

Fred:
Daph, look, it's not our fault that you always get kidnapped.

Daphne:
I do not always get kidnapped. I can't believe you'd say that to me.

Velma:
Oh, please. You come with your own ransom note. [Daphne steals her glasses] Hey, my glasses!

Daphne:
Who's helpless, now?

Velma:
[feels Fred's shoes and starts choking Fred] I'm gonna kill you, Daphne!

Fred:
[pushes Velma off] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [checks his ascot] Watch the ascot!

Shaggy:
Hey, you guys, look. I know I'm just the dude that carries the bags, but it seems to me we all play an important part in this group. [Daphne hands Velma's glasses and Velma snatches them back] I mean, we're just like a big, delicious banana split. Fred, you're the big banana. Daphne, you're the pastrami and bubble-gum-flavored ice cream, and Velma, you're the sweet-and-sour mustard sauce that goes on top.

Scooby:
Mmm-mmm!

Shaggy:
That sounds pretty good, doesn't it, Scoob?

Scooby:
Uh-huh.

Velma:
You know what, Shaggy. You've really put it into perspective for me.

Shaggy:
Thanks.

Velma:
I quit.

Shaggy:
No.

Daphne:
No way. You-you can't quit. I was gonna quit in, like, two seconds. And now everyone is gonna totally think I copied off the smart girl.

Fred:
Now, wait a minute. wait a minute. Maybe I quit. I do. Yeah, I quit!

Velma:
I'm outta here.

Daphne:
Good riddance.

Shaggy:
Don't... no! Don't go. Come on, you guys, don't do this. Please, don't go.

Scooby:
Do I quit?

Shaggy:
No, Scoob... friends don't quit. Well, it looks like it's just you and me for a while, buddy, old pal.

Scooby:
What now, Shaggy?

Shaggy:
I guess we'll all just do what we do best, Scoob.

Man:
I've been sent by my employer, Mr. Emile Mondavarious, to invite you to his world-famous amusement park, Spooky Island.

Shaggy:
Oh, we don't go near any place with "spooky," "haunted," "forbidden," or "creepy" in the name.

Scooby:
Or "hydrocolonic."

Shaggy:
Right, or "hydrocolonic," but that's for a whole different reason, man.

Shaggy:
Boy, oh, boy, those sure do look like Scooby Snacks.

Mary Jane:
I know they're for dogs, but they're 100% vegetarian and I love them.

Shaggy:
Like, me too!

Mary Jane:
Far out. I have never met another person who loves Scooby Snacks.

Shaggy:
Me neither.

Mary Jane:
I'm Mary Jane.

Shaggy:
[too shocked to speak] Like that is my favorite name.

Mary Jane:
Really? No way.

Mondavarious:
I'm Emile Mondavarious, the owner of the amusement park.

Velma:
You seem less...

Shaggy:
Spooky!

Velma:
Than we'd have guessed.

Velma:
What's the problem, exactly?

Mondavarious:
I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. Now listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and those departing?

Daphne:
They look like sober, well-behaved college kids.

Mondavarious:
Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell.

Brad:
Carol! Hey Carol, how's the island?

Carol:
[with an angry tone] Are you tricking on me?

Brad:
Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three--

Carol:
[suddenly lifts up Brad in air] Back off my grill, son.

Brad:
[screaming in pure terror while Mystery Inc. gets shocked] CAROL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

[She throws Brad in front of Mystery Inc. and Mondavarious, then walks away with the other kids; Brad crawls away in fright]

Mondavarious:
I'm terrified. And if the young people come off the barge, the people I love the most, they are in danger.

Velma:
I'm gonna solve this one first.

Fred:
Not before I solve it first.

Mondavarious:
Well done.

Daphne:
You guys are gonna look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.

Fred:
[in Daphne's body] I couldn't get to my body. I didn't know where else to go, I panicked! It's not easy to steer when you're pure spirit! [looks down and becomes impressed.] Hey.... I can look at myself naked!

Velma:
Oh, brother!

Fred:
[in Daphne's body] Hey good looking!

Daphne:
[in Fred's body] Fred! You egocentric...

Shaggy:
[interrupting] Please! Tell me you guys are you!

Daphne:
[in Fred's body, She stamps foot, exasperated] Fred keeps touching me!

Daphne:
We did it!

Fred:
Yes we did. [the two kiss; Daphne suddenly breaks off]

Daphne:
Fred, cut it out!

[both smile]

Shaggy Rogers:
Scooby-Doo, where are you?

Shaggy Rogers:
[to Daphne] Like, Scoob and me don't do castles. Because castles have paintings with eyes that watch you, Suits of Armor you think's a statue, but there's a guy inside who follows you every time you turn around. [Scooby shows Daphne what Shaggy actually means]

Scrappy Doo:
[to Scooby] You look so much bigger on TV!

Scrappy Doo:
[to Scooby after turning back to normal] Come on, I can still take you! Put 'em up you mangy mutt! [Scooby rolls his eyes and punches Scrappy into a wall] Is that all you got?! [Scooby just shrugs]

Scrappy Doo:
I would've gotten away with it too if not for you meddling sons of...! [the door shuts on the helicopter cutting him off while Daphne gasps in shock]