Blue Heelers

Ben Stewart:
Gee I'd love to, but... I don't want to.

Maggie:
If you're going to faint, let me know.

PJ:
Yeah, catch me.

Maggie:
I'll get out of your way.

Constable Evan 'Jonesy' Jones:
Don't call me pal, mate.

Calvin:
Don't call me mate, pal.

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
That woman is the biggest gossip this side of the Western Plains!

Constable Evan 'Jonesy' Jones:
Hey, you're talking about a friend of mine!

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
Then I suggest in future you pick your friends more carefully.

Constable Evan 'Jonesy' Jones:
Who my friends are is none of your business!

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
While you're working for me, they most certainly are, and don't you forget it!

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
Look, what I want to concentrate on now is finding that bloody bulldozer!

Sgt. Nicholas 'Nick' Schultz:
[opens drawers] Hmm, not in this one, not in that one.

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
And now you can buy me dinner for that one, boofhead.

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
My faith died the day I dragged my dead wife's body out of that creek.

Greg Mason:
What film did you see?

Tiffany Lewis:
Titanic. It was the fifth time I've seen it. Leonardo's so gorgeous. We all cry at the end. It's so sad.

PJ:
Yeah, poor old iceberg. Going for a float and a dirty big ship runs right into him.

Susie Reynor:
So it really looked like a flying saucer?

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
It was full on and I didn't even have the mushrooms.

Constable Evan 'Jonesy' Jones:
This is when it pays to read your star signs. Will be abducted by aliens, so pack undies!

Susie Reynor:
Wonder what Rochelle's was?

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
Yeah. Sag.

Constable Evan 'Jonesy' Jones:
Here it is. Something new will happen in your life. Maybe a new man. Expect a trip to outerspace!Expect a bumpy ride!

PJ:
You're all so hilarious.

Susie Reynor:
So what did your star sign say yesterday PJ?

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
Expect a grumpy mood and closed mind.

PJ:
All your minds are so open I can hear the wind just whistling through!

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
PJ!

PJ:
I'm kidding.

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
No, Peej, come have a look at this. it's that kid. when did this happen?[refering to the newspaper]

Const. Joanna 'Jo' Parrish:
Monday. Big news of the week.Didn't you guys here about it in Widgeree?

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon:
Kim, I'm tired. We're all tired - all of us down at the station, we are all just so tired of scraping dead kids off the highways.

Sgt. Tom Croydon:
There are people even in Mount Thomas who'd say that what you did today was attempted murder!

Mick Doherty:
Attempted murder means you're a bad shot.

Roz Patterson:
Bloody Blue Heelers

DJ:
And what do you do for a living, Maggie?

Maggie:
I'm a policeman!