Bunheads

Michelle Simms:
[opens the door to Truly's frantic knocking] Truly?

Truly Stone:
Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer. You sleep so late!

Michelle Simms:
Well, I'm generally up late.

Truly Stone:
Wait, you don't have a morning show?

Michelle Simms:
A what?

Truly Stone:
A morning show. I used to watch Matt and Katie and Al and Ann, and then Matt and Meredith and Al and Ann, and then Matt and Ann and Al and Natalie, and then I tried Charlie and Gail and Seth and Nora, but when I found George and Robin and Josh and Sam I felt like I was home.

Wiccan Friend:
She's awfully tall, isn't she? Was she ever a man?

Vi:
Why would you say that?

Wiccan Friend:
I don't know. I just think the town could use a woman who used to be man - to go with the Republican and the Liza Minnelli impersonator.

Sebastian:
With Fanny gone, you are the designated co-captain of the east side evacuation center.

Michelle Simms:
No.

Sebastian:
Yes.

Michelle Simms:
I refuse.

Sebastian:
You can't.

Michelle Simms:
I'm unqualified.

Sebastian:
So was I, and look at me now.

Michelle Simms:
The town is doomed.

Michelle Simms:
Whoa, I think I just found God!

Talia:
From eating a marshmallow.

Michelle Simms:
His ways are strange.

Talia:
What did he look like?

Michelle Simms:
Judy Garland.

Talia:
God's a good gig for her.

Sasha Torres:
[scream] Roman!

Roman:
There is a very large spider in that bathroom.

Sasha Torres:
Spider?

Roman:
I mean we're talking paleolithic horror type stuff here.

Sasha Torres:
Where is my umbrella?

Roman:
He took it from me. This is a very serious spider.

Rusty Jordan:
Oh, geez. What the geez?

Nanette Jordan:
Rusty, what's happening?

Rusty Jordan:
It's the biggest spider I've ever seen in here! It's a monster!

Nanette Jordan:
Well, kill it!

Rusty Jordan:
I tried. It won't die!

Nanette Jordan:
Boo, get the Winkleburns.

Rusty Jordan:
Oh, it's looking right at me!

Nanette Jordan:
Smash it with your sledgehammer!

Rusty Jordan:
It took the sledgehammer!

Nanette Jordan:
Can you jump out the window?

Rusty Jordan:
I can't jump out the window; it's got teeth!

Truly Stone:
These are the people who like and accept me. These women find me interesting and invited me into their club, and yes, maybe that means I have to read a terrible, terrible, simply awful, dreadful book, but at the end of that book is cake. And friendship.

Hubbell Flowers:
Marry Me.

Michelle Simms:
Oh no... oh Hubble no I'm terrible at relationships I'm like Godzilla, men run from me. All men not just Japanese men, all men flee.

Hubbell Flowers:
I won't flee.

Michelle Simms:
Buy some comfortable shoes!

Hubbell Flowers:
I promise you I won't flee. I'll be the one scientist that understands you. The one who knows that you're not burning the city down because you're evil, you're burning the city down because you're protecting the giant lizard eggs you just laid in a cave by the ocean. The cave that no one knows is there, but me.

Ginny Thompson:
Where are we? What is this?

Melanie Segal:
It's roller derby.

Ginny Thompson:
Roller derby? You're in roller derby.

Melanie Segal:
I'm Cleo-Smacktra.

Ginny Thompson:
How did this enter your world?

Melanie Segal:
That night at the Oyster Bar when I pulled the chair out from underneath Godot.

Ginny Thompson:
Godot got you into this?

Melanie Segal:
Not Godot. She gave me a flier.

Ginny Thompson:
She?

[Melanie's eyes look toward Cozette; Ginny looks up at Cozette]

Ginny Thompson:
You!

Cozette:
Hi?

Frankie:
[to Cozette] Should you run?

[Ginny climbs up the ladder to where Cozette is]

Ginny Thompson:
You stay out of this! You're ruining everything! I don't know who you are or where you're from or why you know French or why you're so close with Mitch Alvarado, but Melanie is my friend and it's the four of us, and you need to stay the hell away! [to Frankie] And I'm Norwegian!

Milly Stone:
Always call me. The minute anything happens that can't be answered by reading a Judy Blume novel, call me.

Milly Stone:
[to Michelle] Always, always call me! The minute anything happens that can't be answered by reading a Judy Blume novel, call me!

Michelle Simms:
You know The Edge, like personally?

Milly Stone:
We carpooled for a while. Never count on a rock star to get a kid to piano lesson on time.

Milly Stone:
Home turf advantage is not just for football anymore.

[Sam and Sal interrupt Mi chelle's class]

Michelle Simms:
Why is Sal here?

Sal Russano:
I do not know.

Sam:
You know. He's going to take tap.

Michelle Simms:
Really?

Sal Russano:
No.

Sam:
He runs a dance-wear store, he should know how to dance.

Sal Russano:
I do not need to know how to dance. I need to know about dance, and I do. Those three back there, they're terrible. All you need to know!

Sam:
It'll be good for you.

Sal Russano:
It will not.

Sam:
You will enjoy it.

Sal Russano:
I will not.

Sam:
I needed a ride.

Fanny Flowers:
People told me daughters were harder, I just thought it was because they could get pregnant.