Camp Lazlo!

Raj the Elephant:
What are we made of?

Clam:
Stuff.

Raj the Elephant:
Stuff? What kind of stuff?

Clam:
Stuff, stuff.

Lazlo:
You're like the brother I never had.

Raj the Elephant:
And you're like the puppy my parents never let me have.

Edward the Platypus:
[sees Lazlo, Raj and Clam fall from a waterfall] Hooray!

Edward the Platypus:
[sees them emerge safely] Whatever.

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
None of you are geniuses! Why are none of you geniuses?

Lazlo:
[swinging, referring to Scout Master Lumpus's "nickname"] Isn't this fun, L-L-L-Larry?

Clam:
Larry.

Raj the Elephant:
L-L-L-Larry Canary.

Lazlo:
L-L-L-Larry Underwear-y.

Clam:
Larry.

The Dung Beetles:
I love the sound of waterfalls. It sounds like music to my ears.

The Dung Beetles:
Sounds more like screams of terror from those Jelly Cabin guys.

Edward the Platypus:
Now that's music to my ears. Boy, I'd give the shirt off my back to see Lazlo and those Jelly Cabin dweebs in harm's way. [Skip rips Edward's shirt off] Hey! What's the big idea?

The Dung Beetles:
See? [points to Lazlo, Raj and Clem hanging over the waterfall]

Edward the Platypus:
[Rips off his pants] Here, take my pants, too!

Lazlo:
[Speaking in Edward's mind.] Oh, no, Edward. You are not a big boy. You are cosmically insufficient.

Edward the Platypus:
I'm not a big boy.

Edward the Platypus:
[Opens door from outside] Aaayyy. I am a small boy. [Slithers.] A slithering small boy.

Edward Platypus:
[Over the radio] They're getting closer! This isn't a stunt! Call the coast guard! [Chip and Skip hug each other and start bawling, when Samson bursts in]

Samson Clogmeyer:
Hey, guys! Wanna see Edward get eaten by yetis?

Chip:
Wow!

Skip:
Neat!

[Raj has prepared a special tea for Clam]

Raj the Elephant:
Careful, Lazlo.

Lazlo:
[Spills some tea] Oops.

Raj the Elephant:
Don't spill it! [the tea eats a hole on the floor]

Lazlo:
Wow! It's like magma from the Earth's core.

Raj the Elephant:
More powerful than that. You must be quite mindful.

Mayor Pothole McPhucker:
Well done! First place! First place! Brilliant! Just look at that face [photo of Lumpus] ! Just look at that thing protruding... [meaning statue of Piercely R. Prickly]

Mayor Pothole McPhucker:
[realizing Lazlo's float is made of stolen objects] Oh, for the love of...!

Robert [PPTV reporter]:
[seeing Mayor McPhucker] Oh, for the love of...!

Scoutmaster Wesley:
[seeing Mayor McPhucker] Oh, for the love of...!

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
[shouting] What is wrong with these Bean Scouts?

Slinkman:
As shadow puppet Lumpus: Grumble, grumble, I'm very annoyed. Slinkman! Slinkman! As shadow puppet Slinkman: Reporting for duty, sir. As shadow puppet Lumpus: I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out! As shadow puppet Slinkman: I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight. As shadow puppet Lumpus: [clears throat]

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
[walks into Jelly Bean Cabin] Slinkman! Slinkman!

Slinkman:
Reporting for duty, sir.

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
I thought I told you to order the Jelly Beans lights out!

Slinkman:
I did sir, but they were scheduled for a shadow puppet show tonight.

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
[clears throat]

Algonquin C. Lumpus:
[to Lazlo] That's a good little monkey... [to Raj]... and a good little... elephant boy... [to Clam]... and a good little... whatever you are.

Edward the Platypus:
[Maniacal laugh] Gimme an itch!/Gimme a scratch!/I'll bite your head, I cover your backs!/I'm the Lice Duke, the Lice Duke, the Duke of the Lice!/I've got spirit but I ain't too nice! [Growls]

Vocalist (Parasitic Pal song):
Everyone loves my little buddy wuddy, he's my cuddly pal/ Hoobely hoo and a ziggely zee, he's sucking on my head/ He's so cute, so slimy and so squeaky/ Hoobely hoo with a ziggely zee, who cares if he's a freak-y/ Friends like to see my little buddy wuddy, hanging oh so mellow/ Hoobely hoo with a ziggely zee, like a heap of jiggly Jell-O/ He's so cute he should have a show on cable/ I've got a hunch when I munch on lunch they'll all want to sit at our table/ Everyone loves my little buddy wuddy, he's my cuddly pet/ Hoobely hoo with a ziggely zee, he's sucking on my head/ He's so cute, so slimy and so nutty,/ Hoobely hoo with a ziggely zee, he's my buddy buddy!

Edward the Platypus:
Why don't you go to your own club? Oh, that's right! You have nothing. The nothing club! That's your club, Lazlo!

Lazlo:
The nothing club. That's my club. [He sadly traces a large square on the ground] Well, this is the nothing club. [Beat] Not bad!

Lazlo:
[sings, to the tune of the William Tell Overture] Okay is the life of a jolly wood gnome/They have long beards and they love your lawn/They dance little jigs on their little gnome homes/Hooray for the life of a jolly wood gnome

Slinkman:
Beware the teeth of the deadly wood gnomes/They'll bite your leg when you're all alone/And they'll drag you back to their little gnome home/Where they'll boil you for stew till you're nothing but bone!