Virus:
What about Meg?

Dags:
Meg's gay.

Virus:
Well if anyone can change her back it's you.

Carla:
Wouldn't it be cool to screw in the principal's bedroom?

Dags:
So why don't you just ditch the books and come to the back and party with us?

Lisa:
I can't.

Dags:
Why?

Lisa:
'Cause nobody likes me! Everyone thinks I'm a frigid headcase.

Dags:
Well, Virus and Reggie do... but I don't! Look, why don't you prove them wrong by coming to the back and partying with us?

Lisa:
Okay! I can be fun!

Miosky:
I wanna do a Jap.

Virus:
Hey! How about Carla Morgan? I hear she's half Jewish!

Miosky:
Not that kind of Jap. A real Jap from China. With silky soft skin, almond eyes and straight blonde hair.

Dags:
A blonde Japanese. Hmmmm.

Miosky:
They're a rare breed, but they're out there - and I'm gonna find one.

Reggie Barry:
Oh, and one final thing, we didn't kill Red, he partied to death!

Reggie Barry:
Heroin, huh?

Herbert Jones:
Insulin.

Reggie Barry:
Can I, like, buy some from you?

Dags:
Let's do some van damage.

Senator Lurman:
We're due at the capitol and you're porking the math teacher?

Miss Milford:
Keyboarding teacher.

Senator Lurman:
Whatever.

Dags:
We're not going anywhere with Senator Bunghole!

Senator Lurman:
Senator Bunghole?

Reggie:
People, um, say that acid causes, um, brain damage... What did you say?

Senator Lurman:
How'd you get this?

Reggie:
That information is on a 'need to know basis'.

Senator Lurman:
You're out of your league, boy!

Miss Milford:
Senator Lurman I can't believe what I'm hearing.

Senator Lurman:
Oh shut up you little slut.

Herbert Jones:
We don't need this A space, J space, Put a Little Love in Your Heart shit. We need a challenge.

Principal Moss:
I'll bet you're wondering why I asked you here in the middle of the night. I have a favor to ask of you, Steve, something that will be our little secret. You up to it?

Principal Moss:
What are you doing?

Steve Nisser:
I thought you wanted...

Principal Moss:
I don't want that you idiot!

Principal Moss:
This is the only stop we'll be making between here and Washington D.C. So I suggest you take care of whatever necessities come to mind.

Virus:
Like takin' a wiz!

Red:
You kids, Man, you sure don't know how to party. When I was your age, well, we partied, Man.

Steve Nisser:
People think that we're nothing but a generation of losers. Sitting on our butts, playing video games and watching MTV. That's not true!

Principal Todd Moss:
Must be another senior skip day. Dagestino thinks he can outsmart me. Not in my domain.

Principal Todd Moss:
Dagestino and Reggie invite you to Total Destruction. 12:00, 637 Stratford Road.

Mrs. Winston:
Why that's your house!

Travis:
I shall put an end to your dirty Klingon ways.

Reggie:
Um, Dags, I just saw that psycho crossing guard guy in a car with Lt. Uhura

Dags:
Sure, dude.

Travis:
Follow that bus, Mr. Sulu.

Mr. Woo:
Sulu? I'm Mr. Woo.

Travis:
I see. Traitors to the Federation!

Travis:
Nobody moves!

Wong Woo:
Hey, is that a Walther PPK semi-automatic?

Travis:
Yes.

Wong Woo:
Great! You cover Dad...

Wong Woo:
I'll cover Mom.

Miss Milford:
Well now, students - J. Edgar Hoover was the founder and director of the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972. He was a great American.

Herbert Jones:
He was a fascist transvestite and I hope he rots in Hell!

Miss Milford:
Hmm.

Meg:
Why can't we see Kennedy's eternal flame?

Principal Moss:
You people don't deserve Kennedy.

Wanda Baker:
Who's Kennedy?

Virus:
If you're on your knees with a tablecloth over your head, who's gonna know who it is?

Reggie Barry:
"Pop quiz, hotshot- you have 10 underage students craving alcoholic beverages in a store containing your high school principal. What do you do? What-do-you-do?

Miss Milford:
Principal Moss? Principal Moss? Principal Moss! (to the students) I can't wake him up!

Reggie Barry:
Is he dead?

Red:
Nah, he ain't dead. He's just in a coma.

Miss Milford:
What?

Red:
Yeah, I guess that car-sick pill is really working on him. It should, it's a "red." A horse tranquilizer.

Miss Milford:
But I saw you take a handful of them.

Red:
Oh, they don't work on me. That's why they call me Red. I'm immune!

Reggie Barry:
Hey, everybody. Moss is in a coma. Let's party!

Carla Morgan:
"Hey Virus, I bet you've never made moves like this in your chess club. Wanna screw?"

Wanda Baker:
Did you ever wonder if Jason has nightmares and that Freddy can invade his nightmares?

Reggie Barry:
Yeah.

Wanda Baker:
I think about that all the time.

Wanda Baker:
Hey, I know you. You're that smart girl. You wanna get high?

Dags:
Hey, Lisa. Wanna cut next class and go to a party? Come on. I know you like me.

Lisa:
Will you leave me alone?

Dags:
I'm concerned about you, Lisa. One day, you're gonna wake up and realize that you wasted your whole life studying.

Lisa:
And you're gonna wake up one day and realize that you're a loser!

Principal Moss:
Well, this was an interesting field trip.

Miss Milford:
What are we going to do now?

Dags:
Go home.

Lisa:
No, we can't let this happen!

Meg:
But if we go, we're only gonna make the President look worse.

Reggie:
Just like Vietnam, no way to win.

Herbert Jones:
What we need is a miracle.

Meg:
Yeah. Like that time last year when the school got torched right before finals.

Dags:

Principal Moss:
That was you?

Dags:
Yeah. Now, if we can stop finals, we certainly can stop some Bunghole senator!

Lisa:
(drunk) Dags?

Dags:
(even more drunk) Yeah? W-what?

Lisa:
I've been thinking about our impending relationship. Which I think is a good idea. As long as you don't talk too much, you let me call the shots, and my parents never, never, NEVER find out about you, I think it could work out between us.

Lisa:
Hey... are you paying attention to me?

Carla:
If I don't get laid tonight, everyone's gonna think I'm a loser. By the way, have you seen those Kennedy boys? I hear there're lots of fun.