Danny Phantom

Jack Fenton:
You must be so exhausted you can't even talk. [gets no answer] So I'll keep talking.

Tucker Foley:
[after Danny has phased a car through a building] Oh sure, phase the car through the building. You just had to save the day, didn't you?

Danny Fenton:
Well yeah! Because a car crashing through the twenty-eighth floor of anything is BAD!

Danny Fenton:
[has just parachuted onto his aunt's farm with his dad's gift] Here you go mom. Dad left it at home so uhh... the mosquitoes wouldn't get it!

Jack Fenton:
That's right! [whispering to Danny] Good work son. You'll get a raise in your allowance for this.

Danny Fenton:
I get an allowance?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[trying to stop Danny's parents from cheaking on him while he's fighting a ghost upstairs] Danny's upstairs. [crash is heard upstairs] Uh, lifting weights?

Maddie Fenton:
[after hearing another crash] He doesn't have exercise equipment up there.

Danny Fenton:
[another crash] My computer! Oh, wait that's Jazz's.

[Danny and Tucker are drooling over Paulina]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Paulina? Please, girls like that are a dime a dozen.

Danny Fenton:
[to Tucker] How much change you got?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Very funny.

[Danny and Tucker are at his house, talking to Sam over the computer]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I'm sure you boys will have a wonderful time.

[logs off the computer]

Danny Fenton:
She really wants to go to the dance.

Tucker Foley:
She said she didn't want to!

Jazz Fenton:
By the way Danny, just so you know, I'm onto your little secret.

Danny Fenton:
[spits out his water] What secret?

Jazz Fenton:
The clumsiness, the nervousness... I can't beleive I didn't figure it out before. You have a girlfriend.

Danny Fenton:
It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! I mean, she's not my girlfriend. She's just going to the dance with me.

Jack Fenton:
Great, I can meet her and talk to her about ghosts!

Jazz Fenton:
You better let her know your family's insane now, Danny. If you marry her, and she finds out later, that's entrapment.

Tucker Foley:
[Danny and Dragon Sam have destroyed the school dance] Man, I can't believe your date ditched you.

Danny Fenton:
Where is Paulina anyway?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[sees Paulina talking to Dash] Who cares? Look, the DJ is still playing and I think there's still time for one more dance. [smiles at Danny]

Danny Fenton:
[smiles at Sam] Sure, I'd love to. [hands Tucker the amulet] Hold on to this, will ya?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[dancing with Danny] Promise me you'll keep your pants on?

Danny Fenton:
I'll do my best.

Tucker Foley:
Man, I'm dateless again! Man, what does a guy have to do to get hooked up around here?

Ghost Girl:
I want to go to the ball!

Tucker Foley:
On second thought, I'm not that desprete. Hey guys, can I cut in?

[Sam is trying to distract Technus]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Hi. I'm Sam. I don't believe I caught your name. I suggest you shout it out loud, along with your motive.

Technus:
I am technus! Master of all things mechanical! Wizard of integrated soicuittry! And destroyer of woilds!

Vice Principal Lancer:
Great Gatsby!

Danny Fenton:
[Sam taps at his window] Sam! You snuck out to see me! Oh, this is just like Romeo and Juliet, except I'm the one on the balcony and I can understand everything we're saying.

[Jack Fenton tries his new Ghost Translator on Danny]

Danny Fenton:
Um... Um... Boo?

Ghost Translator:
I am a ghost. Fear me.

Danny Fenton:
[panics] Uh... I better get to school!

Ghost Translator:
I better get to school. Fear me.

Ghost Tracker:
[Jack Fenton holds his Ghost Tracker near Danny] Ghost directly ahead. You would have to be some sort of moron to not notice the ghost directly ahead.

Danny Fenton:
[over cell phone] Are you okay? We can stop by later if you want us too.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[home sick in bed] No, that's okay. I'll be fine. Bye. [She hangs up, then glares at the doctor, nurse and ambulance attendent standing at her bedside] You guys, it's just a cold!

Ambulance Attendent:
[shocking himself with the pads] Clear!

Danny Fenton:
[in the ghost prison cafeteria, Danny looks at a table where all the ghosts he sent back into the Ghost Zone are sitting] Great, everyone who hates me is sitting on table, just like in high school.

Danny Fenton:
[after a day of strange ghost-related events at school] I can explain. [pause] Actually, I really can't.

Tucker Foley:
Wait, you guys kissed?

Danny Fenton, Samantha "Sam" Manson:
No! It was a fake-out make-out!

Johnny 13:
[after Danny punches him during a staged fight to convince Kitty he wants her back] I thought this was a pretend fight.

Danny Fenton:
Then pretend that didn't hurt.

Tucker Foley:
[as Sam's staring daggers at Danny and Paulina, who are now a couple] You okay?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Of course I am! Why would I not be okay? LOOK how HAPPY he is! [punches a hole in a locker]

Danny Fenton:
[after being attacked by giant ghost scissors] I know I should be concerned, and I will be... right after the party.

Skulker:
[to Danny] I planned on simply capturing you and letting you live the rest of your life in a cage, but now, I will rest your pelt at the foot of my bed.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Okay, that's just gross.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[while Tucker's using his PDA to goof around with Skulker's technology] Stop fooling around, Tucker!

Danny Fenton:
Power him down, already! Now!

Tucker Foley:
Relax. Everything's totally under [Skulker destroys his PDA with an arrow] control... Oh, man! I had four more payments on this one.

Danny Fenton:
How is it that I have ghost powers, but YOU'RE the weird kid?

[Dark Danny has revealed his true form to Jazz]

Jazz Fenton:
You're not Danny. That's why the Booo-Merang wasn't honing in on you're ecto-signature. You're not Danny!

Dark Danny:
I was, but I outgrew him. The Danny you know is floating helplessly in the Ghost Zone ten years in the future.

Jazz Fenton:
He'll escape! He'll beat you!

Dark Danny:
How? Is the answer: A. the Fenton Portal? Destroyed it. B. the only remaining portal? The one that my idiot cheesehead archenemy has? As soon as I find it, that's going too.

Jazz Fenton:
Cheesehead? Vlad Masters? *He's* your archenemy?

Dark Danny:
[continues] Is it: C. you? No. You can't stop me from cheating on the C.A.T. and solidifying my future, so it must be D...

[blasts Jazz away with a plasma blast] None of the above.

[Jazz faints; Dark Danny takes the C.A.T. answers form and reads the answers. A smile lights up his face] Well, what do you know? The answer to the first question *is* "D"!

[evil laugh]

[Jazz is counseling with a punk named Spike]

Jazz Fenton:
Spike, you need to open up to your parents. Be true to yourself *and* them. Just tell them how you feel. I mean, it's not like they're going to attack you or anything...

[she gets caught in a net, mistaken for a ghost]

Jack Fenton:
We got her! And the Fenton Grappler is working like a charm!

Maddie Fenton:
[looks at Jazz] I don't understand. If Jazz is a ghost, then why hasn't she phased through the net?

Jazz Fenton:
[angrily] Because I am *not* a ghost! [takes off the net] You've ambushed me, suffocated me with smoke, and worse, you pulled me away from Spike before he had his breakthrough! What do you have to say for yourselves?

[pause. Jack takes out the Fenton Thermos]

Jack Fenton:
Eat hot Fenton Thermos, ghost gal!

[Thermos short-curcuits, and Jack shakes it]

Jack Fenton:
Darn thing still doesn't work!

[Danny Phantom has accidentally destroyed the poem Ghost Writer has created]

Danny Phantom:
Oops! Uh, Sorry, man, it was a total accident.

Ghost Writer:
Oops?

[angrily]

Ghost Writer:
Oops? Do you have any idea what you've done?

Danny Phantom:
Well... not really, uh, hence the "accident" part.

Ghost Writer:
You've destroyed my greatest work! And that was my only copy!

[Danny picks up a page of the book from the destroyed pieces and reads it]

Danny Phantom:
The Fright Before Christmas? I destroyed a Christmas poem? Awesome!

Ghost Writer:
What?

Danny Phantom:
Dude, I am sick of Christmas! I came to the Ghost Zone to get away from it. I might not have meant to destroy your stupid book, but that doesn't mean I'm not okay with it.

[destroys the page from the book he was reading]

[Ghost Writer has trapped Danny Phantom inside a new poem, which begins its first lines]

Ghost Writer:
On the day before Christmas, in Amity Park, / Almost all there were cheery, yet one soul was dark.

Danny Fenton:
Hey, that voice? It's the ghost whose book I destroyed. / [looks around] Wait! I'm trapped in this poem? Now I'm really annoyed!

[Danny flies to the Jewish Manson home, hoping Sam won't put the blame on him for attacking Christmas]

Danny Fenton:
[in joy] Sam!

Ghost Writer:
Danny said.

Danny Fenton:
[to Ghost Writer] Oh, for crying out loud!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I know. Can't you see we're all under a cloud? / Every present we had, in the chimney up through it! / That might work for you, but that's not how we do it!

Ghost Writer:
And Sam saw sad faces on Mom, Dad, and Granny, / So I typed on my keyboard that the blame was on Danny!

[Ghost Writer conrtols Sam by her anger]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[angrily] You! You did this?

Danny Fenton:
[shouts] Are you out of your mind?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[shouts] You're the holiday scrooge! Do you think that I'm blind?

Ghost Writer:
And Danny and Sam found themselves in a spat. / But before Dan could calm her, I soon realized that / A new threat was needed to cut through the noise; / And what better way than attack of the toys?

[Ghost Writer brings all the toys from each building to attack the town, then starts forming them together. Danny and Sam stop and go outside to look at this scenery; Danny turns into Danny Phantom to find out what's going on]

Ghost Writer:
From all over the town, the toys started to merge! / I'm really quite weakened when I get the urge! / On this night before Christmas, a brand new attacker! / And now, face the wrath of my monster nutcracker!

[the controlled toys form a giant Nutcracker, which comes to life and attacks]

Danny Phantom:
[surprised] Aw, nuts!

[he starts running away from the monster]

Ghost Writer:
Danny cried, as he started to run. /

[pauses]

Ghost Writer:
Must we end every scene with a terrible pun?

[the poem is closing with its last lines]

Danny Fenton:
[narrating] And then I thought, maybe this is the moral. / In the same way my folks loved their old Christmas quarrel. / Everyone celebrates in the way of their choosing. / I was so busy whining, I started abusing / The ones I loved most and I ruined their cheer. /

[smiles]

Danny Fenton:
I'll try to be better, come Christmas next year.

[thus ends the poem; Danny, Sam, Jazz and Tucker gather together at the last page which says "The End."]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Um, nice sentiment, but what are you, a greeting card?

Tucker Foley:
Yeah, why are you talking in rhyme?

Jazz Fenton:
Such a dork.

Danny Fenton:
[realizing] We're not talking in rhyme?

[starts getting jubliant]

Danny Fenton:
We're not talking in rhyme!

[the book closes, and Ghost Writer is glad his new poem is finished. A cell mate inches close to him as he wants to look at the new book he has completed, but Ghost Writer turns away from him]

Walker:
[greets him] Orange?

Ghost Writer:
[scared] Aahh! Get that thing away from me!

Tucker Foley:
[notices the haunted TV remote bought at Danny's garage sale is floating] I'm not schooled in the ways of the rich, but do all your remotes do that?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
No. Well, my toaster does, but it's from Denmark.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[not realizing yet that Danny's under a love spell] Wait, I know that look. That's that same, longing, puppy-dog stare you give Paulina.

Danny Fenton:
Who's Paulina?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Well, that's a pleasant side effect.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Sorry about that stupid fight. Can we forget it ever happened?

Danny Fenton:
[quoting Desiree's catchphrase] So you wish it, so shall it be. [they both blush]

Tucker Foley:
Hey, I'm right here.

Paulina:
Danny, you never said whether or not you were coming to my quincenera on Friday.

Danny Fenton:
That's because when you invited me, I thought you were joking.

Youngblood:
Ha! You said booty!

Danny Fenton:
Not getting invited to a party is one thing, but not getting invited to a party at my own house?

Tucker Foley:
Dude, you can't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault.

Danny Fenton:
Maybe not. But it is my responsibility.

Danny Fenton:
[to Tucker and Sam] Did you see the way all those ghost hunters were laughing at him? How embarrassing! We're gonna have to live with my dad's goof-ups for the rest of our lives! [pause] He's standing right behind me, isn't he?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[to Danny] You don't feel that way about me and I don't feel that way about you.

Danny Fenton:
So why are you still holding my hands?

Danny Fenton:
[to Jazz] Will you stop talking about me like I'm not here? [shouting to Youngblood] And will you stop poking me?

Danny Fenton:
Skulker and Technus? Together?

Tucker Foley:
Is that an eww, or a yikes?

Danny Fenton:
Definitely a yikes!

Box Lunch:
I am Box Lunch! Daughter of The Box Ghost and The Lunch Lady!

Danny Fenton:
Um, eww!

[Jazz is riding home in excitement, with Danny feeling disappointed]

Jazz Fenton:
Wow! Isn't this great? We just caught three ghosts tonight!

Danny Fenton:
No, actually, you've just caught one ghost, three times, all of them me!

[Danny, Sam, and Tucker are at Nasty Burger]

Danny Fenton:
Ahhh, Nasty Burger, our safe haven. Away from the worries of...

[Jazz bursts through the door]

Jazz Fenton:
Danny, run!

Danny Fenton:
Run? Why should I...

[everyone stares at the door, and soon after Jack and Maddie come in here in 80's clothes, with Jack looking like Flavor Flav and Maddie looking like 80's Madonna]

Jack Fenton, Maddie Fenton:
Dude!

[everyone in the Nasty Burger gasps and starts laughing; Jazz and Sam are hiding, embarrassed]

Jazz Fenton:
If anyone asks, I'm related to you.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Okay, but you're gonna have to be a lot less cheery.

[80's Jack and Maddie hug their son Danny tightly]

Danny Fenton:
[to Jazz] If I pass out, I give you permission to not resuscitate me.

Vlad Masters:
[about Sam and Tucker, infected with ecto-acne] They're running out of time, you know.

Danny Fenton:
[suddenly smiling] Time? That gives me a great idea!

[scene shifts to Clockwork's tower]

Clockwork:
No. That's a horrible idea. I'm the ghost of time, not the ghost of miracle cures.

[Danny returns to Jack's house after changing the past to find the house deserted]

Danny Fenton:
Mom? Dad? Jazz? Anyone?

[he gasps as Jack runs in, his face covered in ecto-acne]

Jack Fenton:
[shouts] Nobody trespasses on Jack Fenton's property!

Danny Fenton:
Dad, relax!

Jack Fenton:
[confused and sad] Dad? I don't have a son; I'm single! Bitterly, bitterly single.

Danny Fenton:
You are? [to himself] Jeez, that explains... almost everything.

Jack Fenton:
What?

Danny Fenton:
Nothing!

[sees Jack's ecto-acne and points at it]

Danny Fenton:
Uh, is that ecto-acne?

Jack Fenton:
[angry] It's a condition... that you shouldn't know about!

[grabs Danny by the collar of his shirt]

Jack Fenton:
[shouts] How do you know about ecto-acne? Talk!

Danny Fenton:
I'm your son! I know all about the accident in Wisconsin... that shouldn't have happened.

Jack Fenton:
[angry] Oh, it happened, all right!

[throws Danny onto the ground in anger]

Jack Fenton:
And my life went straight down the flusher from that day on!

[turns into Jack Plasmius]

[Jack has turned into Jack Plasmius and starts attacking Danny]

Danny Fenton:
[shouts] Wait, it's me, Danny, your son!

[dodges another shot fired by Jack]

Jack Plasmius:
[shouts] Lies! I do not have a son! And even if I did, I certainly wouldn't name him Danny. That's dumb.

Danny Fenton:
[angry] Okay, I don't want to do this in front of you, but... Going ghost!

[Danny turns into Danny Phantom, and Jack sees him, surprised but angry]

Jack Plasmius:
You're a ghost? I hate ghosts!

[continues attacking Danny]

Jack Plasmius:
And if it wasn't for ghosts, I wouldn't have lost the love of my life!

[knocks Danny into the basement]

[in the basement, Danny Phantom sees a newspaper article of Maddie's marriage to Vlad]

Danny Fenton:
I didn't destroy the past... I destroyed the present!

[Jack and Maddie see Vlad, Sam, and Tucker's ecto-acne]

Maddie Fenton:
There's only one place that treats ecto-acne!

Danny Fenton:
[hpoing] Please say "hospital", please say "hospital".

[scene shifts to FentonWorks in quarantine]

Danny Fenton:
[disappointed] Why didn't she just say "hospital"?

[Vlad attacks Jack Plasmius and ties Danny Phantom to the torture chamber]

Vlad Masters:
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave, molecule by molecule!

[Vlad terribly damages Jack Plasmius and the Ghost Portal with the device's ecto laser, and Maddie runs up to the fallen Jack Fenton]

Maddie Masters:
Jack!

Jack Fenton:
No... It's all right, Maddie... Just remember... what could have been...

[seemingly passes away, and Maddie goes to Vlad in revenge]

Maddie Masters:
You despicable, lying piece of... cheese! I've wasted the best years of my life with you!

Vlad Masters:
[in a fake tone of voice] Now, Maddie, I may be a lying piece of cheese, but I'm still your husband.

Maddie Masters:
[grabs Vlad and lifts him up] Consider *this* an annulment!

[she throws Vlad into the Ghost Zone, where he sees ghosts]

Vlad Masters:
Why, hello there. Did I ever tell you that I love ghosts?

[ghosts angrily surround Vlad, seemingly killing him]

[Vlad, Sam, and Tucker are cured of ecto-acne by the Ecto Purifier]

Vlad Masters:
I knew you'd come through, Daniel. All it took was the proper motivation. Of course, I'm still weak beyond measure, so... bygones?

[Danny grins mischievously at him; the next scene shows Vlad Plasmius screaming as Danny Phantom knocks him into the air]

Danny Phantom:
[casually] Bygones.

Freakshow:
Au contraire. That's French for "I bet this hurts".

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I'm Sam Manson, and my Happy Princess talent is... [Sees Dora glaring at her with evil eyes] Goth Haiku: Despair without end! [Whispers] Dora's a ghost! Utter Blackness! Nothingness. [Whispers] Dora's a ghost! [Clears throat] Dora is a ghost!

Danny Fenton:
So that's your big statement? 'Dora's a ghost?' I mean, what's that have to do with - wait... Dora's a ghost?

Paulina:
Let's scratch his eyes out with our perfectly manicured nails!

Danny Fenton:
[Vlad Masters turns to Vlad Plasmius] You? I'm going ghost! Going ghost. Why can't I go ghost?

Vlad Masters:
You have a battle-cry. Hilarious.

Jazz Fenton:
[looking at all the football memorabilia] I don't understand, you have millions of dollars. Instead of buying all this stuff, why don't you just buy the team?

Vlad Masters:
[suddenly outraged] Because the Packers are owned by the city of Green Bay and they won't sell them to me!!!

[Jack has just sprayed Pam with ecto-goop from one of his devices while she was complaining about Danny]

Pam:
Obviously, the apple doesn't fall far from the overbearing, orange-jumpsuited tree!

Jack Fenton:
You got a *problem* with jumpsuits?

Maddie Fenton:
[to Jack] Let me handle this, dear. [to Pam] You got a *problem* with jumpsuits?

[Sam is ditching school to see the Circus Gothica train, which has just rolled in]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Tucker's got first period free. He's covering for me.

[In the bathroom, Tucker's dressing up as Sam, complete with a wig and lipstick]

Tucker Foley:
This is *so* wrong... [holds up his payment from Sam]... but *you* make it right.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I'm a creature of the night doomed to a family of morning people.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
So sleepy...

Danny Fenton:
Sam? Paulina? So tired. Gas is affecting me?

Bertrant:
Of course it is, child, that's the point! You didn't think this was an actual hospital, did you?

Danny Fenton:
You're Penelope Spectra's assistant Bertant! [pause] Bert Rant, Bertant. How did I miss that?

Bertrant:
Why don't you mull that over in your last two seconds of conciseness.

Mr. Falluca:
Fascinating. Possibly some of the most interesting mandibular formations I've ever seen. [pans back to reveal giant mosquito, very panicked] I hope I don't end seeing them from the inside!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I would appreciate it if you didn't drool on my tofu soy melt.

Tucker Foley:
Sam, drool on a tofu soy melt isn't drool, it's seasoning.

[Sam has spraypainted a mustache, beard, and glasses on a giant poster of Ember McLean in front of the crowd]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[shouts] Hey, look, everyone! It's Ember Mc "Lame"!

Danny Fenton:
[to Ember] Hey! Do you take requests? How about "Beat It"?

[chorus from Ember's song "Remember"]

Ember:
Oh, Ember, you will remember! / Ember, one thing remains! / Oh, Ember, so warm and tender! / You will remember my name!

Danny Fenton:
[to Sam, who he is in love with due to a love spell] I never realized how pretty you are when you're about to fall off a building!

Danny Fenton:
[to Sam, who he is in love with due to a love spell] You're so beautiful when you're wrapped in guilt.

Dash Baxter:
[Sam has just kissed Dash in order to release Danny from Ember's spell] Ugh! She tastes like geek!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Ugh! He tastes like failure!

Danny Fenton:
I still don't get why we're not affected by Ember's music.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Maybe be cause of you ghost powers and my...

Danny Fenton:
Individuality or intelligence?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I was gonna say "utter disdain for anything popular" but ok. You really think I'm smart? [both blush]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[being hugged] Human contact... crushing... Goth... indifference...

[Mr. Falluca is guiding his field trip students to escape from Technus's attack]

Mr. Falluca:
Everybody. Single file. Run!

Danny Fenton:
[Phantom] Have you lost your half of our mind.

Danny Fenton:
Uh, dude, I'm not the one wearing a bed sheet.

[repeated line]

Tucker Foley:
I call the fun Danny!

Danny Fenton:
[Phantom] Say, you wear an awful lot of black for a superhero sidekick. Have you ever considered switching to bright primary colors?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Tucker, wait up!

Danny Fenton:
[Phantom] Technus 2.0 is a wattage wasting wastrel!

Jack Fenton:
Are you kids sure there's a ghost in the movie theater?

Danny Fenton:
Absolutely. And if not, you can pick us up in two hours and six minutes.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Previews.

Danny Fenton:
Two hours and twenty-six minutes.

Danny Fenton:
[Phantom] Have you lost your half of our mind.

Danny Fenton:
Uh, dude, I'm not the one wearing a bedsheet.

Danny Fenton:
Have you lost your half of our mind?

Danny Fenton:
Uh, dude, I'm not the one wearing a bedsheet.

[repeated line]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I call the fun Danny!

Danny Phantom:
Say, you wear an awful lot of black for a superhero sidekick. Have you ever considered switching to bright primary colors?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Tucker, wait up!

Danny Phantom:
Technus 2.0 is a wattage wasting wastrel!

[after the Fenton ship crashes in the Ghost Zone with Tucker and Sam inside it]

Danny Fenton:
Is everyone okay?

Samantha 'Sam' Manson:
Besides being lost, almost killed and now having no way home? Stellar!

Danny Fenton:
Okay, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you really are one seriously crazed-up fruit-loop.

Vlad Masters:
I am not a FROOT LOOP!

Skulker:
[paralyzed from the dart] Ok, now my nose itches. Can anyone help? Anyone? Please?

Danny Fenton:
I can move again. Thanks for the save back there.

Valerie Gray:
Yeah? Well thank you for nothing! It's your fault we're stuck in this freaky ghost world!

Danny Fenton:
[using a rock to try and break the cuffs] Right. Cause clearly the maniac who cuffed and dragged us in here didn't have anything to do with it!

Danny Fenton:
I think we got this teamwork thing down.

Valerie Gray:
[as Skulker lift her and Danny by the handcuffs] Just in time to get our butts kicked!

Skulker:
Now before I destroy you both, I must know what is so valuable about this package?

Valerie Gray:
[refering to the flower sack baby] It's not the package that's valuable, it's how you take care of it that counts.

Danny Fenton:
And dude, you're a horrible mother! [as the sack farts in Skulkers' face]

Skulker:
[slyly] I'm offering you a sporting head start, prey. I suggest you take it.

Valerie Gray:
[terrified] Noooooo!

Danny Fenton:
[taking her with him] Less freaking, more running!

Sam:
[about the flour sack baby] The only thing it's teaching me is how pointless this assignment is!

Danny Fenton:
Not to mention dangerous. Now I have to spend a week playing house with an ecto-hating ghostophone. [talking about Valerie]

Valerie Gray:
[in the ghost zone, handcuffed to Danny, just seeing Skulker] Ahhh! Huh?Help! Ahh! What is this place? Who is he? What's going on here?

Danny Fenton:
[Standing] Okay, in order. This is the Ghost Zone, that's Skulker: Ghost Zone's greatest hunter, and other than you dislocating my shoulder we're about to be hunted like animals.

Skulker:
At last. People hitting people. Is there anything more beautiful? [as Danny and Valerie fight]

Danny Fenton:
Head for a door. Any door. Sometimes they're portals between the Ghost Zone and Earth.

Valerie Gray:
[opens a door to a head-on train and shutting it real fast] Ahhh!

Danny Fenton:
Not that door!

Valerie Gray:
Then maybe you should been more specific, huh!

Danny Fenton:
This is the Ghost Zone. I am a ghost. I can help us both!

Valerie Gray:
Why should I trust you? [Danny holds up their hands and points to the cuffs] Fine, I'm open for suggestions.

Danny Fenton:
[flying to school above a very crowded bus] One good thing about ghost powers: no fighting the bus crowd.

Youngblood:
[dressed as an astronaut and in a giant slingshot] Phantom dude! You're just in time! Wanna see me launch myself into the hearts of millions?

Sam Manson:
[to Jazz, possibly dying of Ecto Acne] When you see Danny, tell him...

Danny Fenton:
Why don't you tell me yourself?

Maddie Fenton:
[Vlad is being chased by mutated ghost animals] What happened to Vlad?

Danny Fenton:
He ran out for a bite.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Uh, excuse me? I saved your butt, and you're giving me grief?

Danny Fenton:
Welcome to my world, remember? "We should make the menu recyclo-vegetarian." "We should let the gorilla out." "We should sell all of your dad's stuff at a garage sale."

Skulker:
[getting pelted with giant potato chips] Lime and vinegar?! Who eats those?!

[leaving a guidance counselor's office]

Tucker Foley:
I hate my life.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I hate your life too.

[Danny has just got a 'C' on his test]

Danny Fenton:
Man, if only I had something I could take this out on!

The Box Ghost:
[Appears] I am the Box Ghost! And once I empty you of your useless papers, your wonderful squarness will be mine!

Danny Fenton:
[going ghost] Hello misplaced aggression.

Tucker Foley:
You've got five minutes.

Danny Fenton:
Which is four more than I'll need.

Vice Principal Lancer:
[in class, reading from an article] Brooding genius, Daniel Fenton did what no other researcher dared to do. 'Got close enough to this rare purple-back gorilla to realize that Sampson was actually a Delilah.[stops, indignant] No body at that zoo ever bothered to see it was boy or a girl?

Danny Fenton:
[shrugging] That's weird, uh. Well maybe they were respecting her privacy.

Vice Principal Lancer:
[walking over to Danny's desk, while grading his paper] Well Fenton, I have to admit I am impressed. You wanted to get your grade up so bad you risked getting mauled by a gorilla. [giving him his paper] C.

Danny Fenton:
[in denial] A C?! I almost get killed by a gho..rilla and all I get is a C?!

Vice Principal Lancer:
[leaving class] Life's a big mystery, isn't it Fenton. Next time you want to get your grade up try the library.

Jack Fenton:
[Travelling to the disateriod, after The people of Earth agree that in order for Vlad to make the disasteroid intangible, they world must give Vlad 500 billion dollars and become ruler of the planet] How could hold the world hostage like that, Vladdy? And after all the good fortune you've had in your life.

Vlad Masters:
GOOD FORTUNE? You infect me with ghost DNA, then steal the love of my life, and you call that good fortune?

Jack Fenton:
I infected you? You mean...

Vlad Masters:
YES, FOOL! It was your bumbling that made me what I am today. But , I suppose I should saying "thank you", for without you, I wouldn't be moments away from becoming ruler of the Earth.

Jack Fenton:
I never meant to hurt you, what happened was an accident. Wh... I'm your friend Vladdy, I've always been your friend, I even voted for you.

Vlad Masters:
I'll remember that when I steal Maddie from you, and make her my queen.

Vlad Masters:
[discovers that he can't touch the asteroid, because it's made of anti-ghost element and expose his true color to Jack and the world] Jack, you have to help me. You wouldn't turn you back on an old friend, would you?

Jack Fenton:
An old friend, no. You, YES! [activate jets and returns to Earth, abandoning Vlad]

Vlad Masters:
Jack! [now completely alone in space]

Maddie's Sister:
Well?

Jack Fenton, The Box Ghost, Nicolai Technus:
Well what?

Maddie's Sister:
You've been sitting here sipping lemonade for any hour. If your going to apologize to my sister, I suggest you start apologizin'!

Jack Fenton, The Box Ghost, Nicolai Technus:
I... [stomach grumbles] [Strained voice] Hold that thought!

Maddie's Sister:
[Jack goes to the door] Anet no bathroom in there. [Jack turns around] Ainet no outhouse out there. [Jack looks paniced & sprints to the woods]

Maddie Fenton:
You know, in his own way, he really is trying.

Maddie's Sister:
I don't know understand why you think you need him Maddie. Look at me. Been single 10 years and I'm a calm, sensible, independent women and

Maddie's Sister:
[hears a branch snap, turns around and brandishes a sharpened stick] HEY! Don't you wiz on that Jack Fenton! That's rhubarb!

Maddie's Sister:
I've never been happier.

Wulf:
[talking to Danny as Wulf is getting sucked into the thermos] We will meet again.

Sam Manson:
Danny, are you okay?

Danny Fenton:
Why would I not be? Just because the town's on high alert, my parents are at my school... [eats spork]... and I'm chewing so fast, I think I just swallowed my spork. [Phases arm into his stomach and pulls it out] There we go.

Tucker Foley:
[at his house with Sam, Danny, and Wulf] I think this is a really bad idea.

Sam Manson:
Well, he can't stay Danny's. Not with is being ghostkateer central

Danny Fenton:
[to Tucker] Besides, you're the only one of us who sorta uderstands him and we need to get that collar off.

Tucker Foley:
[after Sam reaches for the collar, Wulf snarls angrily and the force throws her into a chair] He said not to touch that.

Sam Manson:
Really? I must have missed the subtext.

Sam Manson:
[after she is forced to spend the night at Tucker's house] Alright, next time we take the extra-dimentional fugitive to my place.

Maddie Fenton:
[to the ghosts about Mayor Montez] Get your hands off our duly elected leader, you odd manifestation of ectoplasmic energy and post-human consciousness!

Danny Fenton:
[ghost sense] Oh no! Here? Again?

Danny Fenton:
But we're chewing like the wind in an anti-Ghost Zone. Where could the ghost be?

Sam Manson:
[after the RV explodes] Survey says, behind us.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[Is grabbed along with Tucker] For those of you still counting; that's three times we've been grabbed today.

Danny Fenton:
Show's over, Freakshow!

Freakshow:
Au contraire. Which is French for "I bet this hurts!" [Punches Danny incredibly hard]

[Danny, Tucker, and Sam escape in a football, mascot, and cheerleading outfit]

Paulina:
[to Sam, who's in her cheerleading outfit] I want that back by Monday, minus the goth sweat.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
We don't sweat, we SIMMER! [Danny grabs Sam]

Danny Fenton:
[clueless] I don't understand...

Vlad Masters:
What? That I used two fourteen-year-old pawns to turn a knight and topple a king? It's chess, Daniel. Of course you don't understand. But then, you never really did.

Vlad Masters:
Sneak attack. Very good, Daniel. You're getting more like me with every battle.

Danny Fenton:
I am *nothing* like you!

Vlad Masters:
You're not? Using your powers to get back at people you don't like? Throwing the first punch? You're more like me than you realize.

Pariah Dark:
Having that much power... it's a burden, isn't it, child?

Danny Fenton:
The power isn't the burden. The burden is in how I use it.

Danny Fenton:
If there's anything you wanted to say to me, now might be an excellent time to do it.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
I... I...

[Storm clouds gather, and Pariah Dark's face appears]

Damon Gray:
You've been battling ghosts... all this time?... Are you okay?

Valerie Grey:
I'm... uh! I'm fine! [trying to move, but stops]

Damon Gray:
[puts Valerie on her feet and yells] Then, you are in so much trouble!

Vlad Masters:
[watching Jack work on the Ecto-Skeleton] Any idea when this suit might be finished?

Jack Fenton, The Box Ghost, Nicolai Technus:
Don't push me, V-man. I'm working on it!

Vlad Masters:
[hearing the Fright Knight's horse coming from the portal, worried] Can we pick it up a little bit?

Maddie Fenton:
[comes downstairs, looking around] What was that noise?

Jack Fenton, The Box Ghost, Nicolai Technus:
[patting his stomach] Could be me... I had heuvos rancheros for breakfast.

Pariah Dark:
[seeing Vlad and Danny change from ghosts to humans] They're ghosts and humans! Is there no end to this day's surprises?

Valerie Grey:
[coming in fast, shooting eco-goo at him] Hey, stone face, surprise!

Sidney Poindexter:
[as Skulker and Danny are fighting] Ixney on the aitbay, Skulker. Maybe he can help us.

Danny Fenton:
[pan back to see all the ghosts he's ever fought] Please, just tell me what's going on! Let me help you guys!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[seeing Danny punch Skulker] How is that helping?

Danny Fenton:
It's payback. It helps me on the inside. [rubbing his hands]

Danny Fenton:
[after he blasts a skeleton] You're helping me? What do you want, my mom's cell number?

Danny Fenton:
[hopefully] No! But, ooh, if you wanted to give me her number...

Danny Fenton:
If there's anything you wanted to say to me, now might be an excellent time to do it.

Maddie Fenton:
I... I... [Storm clouds gather, and Pariah Dark's face appears]

Jazz Fenton:
Good thing there's no ghosts here. [Nudges Danny] Right, Danny? No ghosts here. [In a sing-song voice; to Danny, about Jack & Maddie] We know something they don't know.

Danny Fenton:
[Mocking Jazz] I get it. Can we let it die now?

Vlad Masters:
Oh, so that's how it's going to be, eh? [Takes out his remote] Have you forgotten that with a press of a button, I can end your resistance once and for...

[Danny suddenly phases upwards and takes the remote from Vlad's hands]

Vlad Masters:
Oh, cheese logs...

Danny Fenton:
Let her go, Vlad. She's clearly just some clueless know-it-all who got in way over her head.

Jazz Fenton:
You're toast.

Danny Fenton:
Oh yeah? You and what toaster?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[after the ghost dog gets free from being leashed as Sam and Tucker hop into to the tree , getting draged along] This is why I'm a cat person.

Danny Fenton:
[to the ghost dog, who is holding the lunch lady] That lady isn't edible, and neither is anything she cooks.

Danny Fenton:
[about Tucker liking Valerie] Two-hundred seventy-nine girls in our school, and he's gotta have a crush on the one with the weapons and the grudge.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Danny, will you relax.

Danny Fenton:
How can I relax? That stupid ghost dog could be anywhere and not to mention I have not idea how Valerie became a ghost hunter.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[to Tucker] Danny's in trouble. [he does nothing] News Flash: That's your girlfriend!

Tucker Foley:
[all of a sudden happy] That's awesome! Hey Valerie, wait up!

Danny Fenton:
Tucker, you can't still like her [Valerie].

Tucker Foley:
Why not? For once a girl I like, likes me back. Why can't you just roll with that? Not everybody has to like you , Danny. Don't you trust me?

Danny Fenton:
You, yes. It's your hormones I worry about.

Danny Fenton:
[Inside Poindexter's locker after scaring Sam & Tucker accidentally] Sam! Tucker! In here!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Poindexter?

Danny Fenton:
No, it's me! Danny! Poindexter took over my body and sent me to this bizarro spirit world!

[Sam & Tucker look at each other, not convinced]

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Prove it.

Danny Fenton:
In second grade, Tucker threw up in your lunchbox, but he told you Ricky Marsh did it.

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
What? I kicked him off the monkey bars for that!

Danny Fenton:
[to Mr. Lancer] I can explain!

[thinks about it]

Danny Fenton:
Actually, I really can't.

Youngblood:
Aw, man, I wanted to see the camper go ka-boom!

Danny Fenton:
You have now stooped to my level. Thank you for shopping at Fentonmart.

[ghost Christmas trees are attacking Amity Park; the Fentons watch the news on TV]

News Reporter:
It's tree watch, day one. Hope there isn't day two. / Let's go to Lance Thunder, our weatherman who...

[scene shifts to Lance Thunder, surrounded by ghost trees]

Lance Thunder:
Can't believe I quit acting to work in this place. /... There's chaos here, Bill.

[the ghost trees gang up on him]

Lance Thunder:
[surprised] Not the face! Not the face!

[the Fentons turn off the TV]

Jack Fenton:
[to Maddie] Anybody seen Danny?

Jazz Fenton:
[walks off with anger in her mind] Like I even care.

Maddie Fenton:
What's wrong with you, Jasmine? Your brother's out there! / Hold down the fort, Jack! I'll go after our tot! / Those trees will not stop me!

[she jumps out the window]

Jack Fenton:
[excited] Oh, man, that is hot!

[the poem continues]

Ghost Writer:
Danny Fenton hates Christmas. He hates it a lot, / Which is why I've inserted the boy in this plot. / He'll go through this tale till the story is ended.

Danny Fenton:
[angrily] But you can't make me rhyme!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
[greets a passerby] Hope your new year is splendid!

[Danny shoves an orange into Walker, hoping to end the ghost brawl]

Ghost Writer:
[typing] Young Danny thought quickly and picked up an orange. / He threw it at Walker who...

[stops typing and tries to think of a rhyme to "orange", only to realize he can't]

Ghost Writer:
[angry] Aw, crud! Nothing rhymes with orange!

[ghost Christmas trees are attacking Amity Park; the Fentons watch the news on TV]

News Reporter:
It's tree watch, day one. Hope there isn't day two. / Let's go to Lance Thunder, our weatherman who...

[scene shifts to Lance Thunder, surrounded by ghost trees]

Lance Thunder:
Can't believe I quit acting to work in this place. /... There's chaos here, Bill.

[the ghost trees gang up on him]

Lance Thunder:
[surprised] Not the face! Not the face!

[the Fentons turn off the TV]

Jack Fenton:
[to Maddie] Anybody seen Danny?

Jazz Fenton:
[walks off with anger in her mind] Like I even care.

Maddie Fenton:
What are you saying, Jasmine? Your brother's out there! / Hold down the fort, Jack! I'll go after our tot! / Those trees will not stop me!

[she jumps out the window]

Jack Fenton:
[excited] Oh, man, that is hot!

[at FentonWorks]

Ghost Writer:
But Danny's grim yuletide was only beginning. / And later that night, as his patience was thinning...

Jack Fenton:
[slides down the chimney] See! A fat man can fit down the chimney! Here's proof!

Maddie Fenton:
That still won't explain how he gets on the roof!

Ghost Writer:
And Young Fenton sat there, just steaming and fuming...

[Danny looks out the window]

Ghost Writer:
His blood pressure rising, his anger consuming...

Danny Fenton:
[shouts] I won't keep this up!

Ghost Writer:
...Danny said to the Writer.

Danny Fenton:
There's no poem if I'm silent.

Jazz Fenton:
Can't you make Dad not fight her?

[Danny screams in frustration]

Ghost Writer:
[to Danny] You think this is over? It's barely begun! / This psalm doesn't end 'til the lesson is done!

Danny Fenton:
And you think that I'll learn it? You think you're that tough?

[sees his parents arguing]

Jack Fenton:
[shouts] He exists!

Maddie Fenton:
[shouts] No he doesn't!

Ghost Writer:
Then Dan screamed:

Danny Fenton:
Enough! / I'm sick of your fighting! Can you please let this die? / You've ruined each Christmas! Each Christmas, and I / Can't take anymore of this war, am I clear? / Fourteen years is enough! I am so out of here!

[walks out the door]

Maddie Fenton:
Hmm? What's got into him?

Jack Fenton:
He takes after his mother.

Jazz Fenton:
[sees Danny outside the window] Can't blame you for losing your cool, little brother. / Go ahead, clear your head, and I think you'll be fine.

[the Ghost Writer sends the Fenton Family's presents to attack Danny; Jazz sees them following him]

Jazz Fenton:
[angrily]... but taking our presents is crossing the line!

[in the Ghost Zone, Ghost Writer devises a trap for Danny by inviting him into a room filled with ghosts]

Skulker:
We've been waiting for you.

Ghost Writer:
Skulker said with a grin.

The Box Ghost:
Now our holiday party can finally begin!

[the spotlights come on and illuminate two Christmas trees to Danny's surprise]

Skulker:
Eat, drink, and be merry!

Ember:
Have some warm Christmas goose!

The Box Ghost:
For surely you know of our annual truce!

Ghost Writer:
[shocked] The truce! It's still holding? I thought they'd suspend it / To beat on their foe!

Skulker:
Oh, this truce, we defend it!

[Danny returns to Amity Park after destroying the Ghost Writer's Quantum Keyboard, depressed at what he did to Christmas]

Danny Fenton:
[narrating] With the keyboard all busted, the curse takes its toll.

[Christmas lights go out, as a sign that Danny had destroyed Christmas]

Danny Fenton:
The story continues, but I've no control.

[Tucker sees him at the window of the Foley house, then calls Sam, and they find Danny sitting all depressed]

Tucker Foley:
Dude, like, it's Christmas. So why are you here?

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
Alone outside, with no friends or family near?

Danny Fenton:
It's my fault, all my fault, what had happened tonight. / I spoke out in anger and acted in spite. / I started it all when I picked that first fight. / But I'd give all I had to set everything right.

[while Danny is speaking, the toys and presents are restored to the way they were]

[Danny has just defeated the Ghost Writer and had him detained by Walker's guards]

Danny Phantom:
Roses are red, violets are blue, / One sleasefry, I'm guessing this poem is...

[he destroys the Quantum Keyboard, only to find it has no effect on the rhyming curse]

Danny Phantom:
[shocked]... Through? / Nooooo!

Ghost Writer:
Danny screamed.

Danny Phantom:
[shouts in horror] I'm still talking in rhyme!

Ghost Writer:
I would have forewarned you if given the time!

[Danny Phantom is surrounded by presents that Ghost Writer conjured up]

Danny Phantom:
Now you're ripping off gifts? What is that supposed to do?

Ghost Writer:
A. Make a huge scene, and B. blame it on you!

[the crowd blames Danny, who then gets hit by a laser blast from Jack and Maddie]

Maddie Fenton:
[shouts] You've ruined our night!

Jack Fenton:
[firing a blast] Drink some anti-ghost tonic!

[Danny's mouth goes intangible to avoid the blast]

Danny Phantom:
Wait, I've ruined their night? How's that for ironic?

[he flies away from the crowd]

Ghost Writer:
So Danny did soar through the crisp evening...

Danny Phantom:
[to Ghost Writer] Look! / What's a guy got to do to get out of this book?

Ghost Writer:
And then Danny thought...

Danny Phantom:
Wait. My problem is clear. / This poem's about Christmas, which is here, here, and here. / This curse will stay on me from my town to Rome. / But he can't Christmas me in a non-Christmas home.

[Danny fights off the monster nutcracker using the ghost blasts]

Danny Phantom:
You think this can stop me? This bear, or this train? / I'll just fire away 'til no pieces remain!

[he destroys the nutcracker, then flies back on the ground]

Danny Phantom:
Nothing to add?

Ghost Writer:
Danny asked. Then the answer / Showed up in the form of Sam, Tucker, and Lancer, / And Jazz standing silent, her eyes filled with tears, / Mourning the bear she had loved all these years. / And Tucker and Sam felt that crushing blow, too.

[Danny tries to console the group]

Tucker Foley:
Danny, don't!

Samantha "Sam" Manson:
What's your deal?

Jazz Fenton:
I don't even know you.

[they walk away from the crowd, who gathers up in sadness and anger]

Ghost Writer:
It seemed that the whole town was left to proclaim / That Christmas was ruined, the Ghost Boy to blame.

[Danny flies away from the angry crowd and stops at a house]

Ghost Writer:
Save for one little boy, in his little red hat. / He thought Danny was cool... so we'll have to fix that!

[he brings the ghost Christmas trees to life and they attack]

[Danny Phantom finds the presents are restored and sent to their homes by the ghosts from the Ghost Zone]

The Box Ghost:
The Box Ghost shall conquer this holiday doom!

Lunch Lady Ghost:
We just couldn't leave you to suffer in gloom.

Skulker:
[with an arm cannon] Tomorrow you'll see what *this* baby can do! /... But all ghosts share the truce... even half-ghosts like you.

Vlad Masters:
[while he's doing it] Oh, *please,* Daniel. Must I *actually* defeat you with one hand behind my back before you realize you're outmatched?

Frostbite:
[after Danny freezes most of the audience] Great. We're not gonna sell any snacks now.

Tucker Foley:
[in the flying car w/ Danny] Oh, sure, phase the car through the building, you had to save the day, didn't you?

Danny Fenton:
Umm... yeah, because a car smashing through the twenty-eighth floor of anything is bad!

Tucker Foley:
You're just jealous, 'cause there's somebody else to grab the spotlight!

Surfer Guy:
[really scarred] Yo, hallucinations! Focus!

Danny Fenton:
When have I ever grabbed the spotlight?

Tucker Foley:
How about right now, for instance!

Surfer Guy:
Aaaahhh! [Car crashes into a barn of hay; popping out of a pile of hay] Cha, there's a chicken on my head.

Danny Fenton:
Tucker, please, this is stupid. You're my best friend. I'm not jealous, I'm concerned.

Tucker Foley:
Well, don't be! This town's big enough for more than one ghost kid!

Danny Fenton:
[as Tucker flies off] Tucker, wait!... Whoa. Can't fly that fast. Is he getting more powerful?

Danny Fenton:
[after passing through the Fenton Dream/Ghost Catcher] This one actually works, a little too well... I'm filing this under "must avoid".

Danny Fenton:
Hey slow down there Jeff Gordon, you're going over the speed limit... and the height limit.