Gary the Rat

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I'm not looking for Mrs. Right. I'm looking for Mrs. Right-Friggin'-Now!

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Yes, mother. I know the respirator is old, but you're not going to need it much longer. We'll talk soon.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
No, mother, I can't come and see you tonight. Well, accidental amputations happen all the time. Deal with it.

Gary's Therapist:
So what seems to be the problem?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Well, for starters, I'm a six-foot rat.

Gary's Therapist:
You're not happy with your height. That's a good start.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Long live deep pockets.

Gary:
I've got to stop eating white trash.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I've got to stop eating white trash.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Yes, mother. A lot of people go through life with only one lung. I'm sure it's fine for you to smoke. Go ahead, light up!

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I've got to stop mixing medications.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Betty, you're going to kill him! Let me help!

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Are you sure you're a doctor?

Gary's Therapist:
The Internet University of Science Stuff seems to think so.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I'm outta here.

Gary's Therapist:
Please pay the girl outside in small bills.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I look forward to the bloodbath tomorrow!

Caroline Swanson:
So do I! I'm going to rip your heart out!

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
You'll have to find it first!

Jackson Buford Harrison:
Does she have any kids?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Yes.

Jackson Buford Harrison:
How Many?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Eight

Jackson Buford Harrison:
Jimminy Christmas, someone should tell her that it's a vagina not a clown car.

[Gary gets a delivery of horrible stinking cheese at the office]

Co-worker:
Sniff, sniff - Holy Christ Andrews, what's that smell ? you're stinking up the whole building

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
That'd be the remnants of your 40 dollar girlfriend. You probably could catch her at the elevator if you hurry.

Little Girl:
Mr. Ratman?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Yes?

Little Girl:
I hope you friggin die.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Why in the world am I a damn rat?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
No mother, I can't come see you today. I realize it's your birthday but it's my first day back in court.

Johnny Horatio Bugz:
I should've got a doggie!

Betty:
Yes we have the rat. Please hold. Good morning Mr. Ratman.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I beg your pardon?

Betty:
Mr. Ratman Mr. MouseMan. Mr. Andrews Mr. Harrison wants to see you in his office right away.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
You wanted to see me, Mr. Harrison?

Jackson Buford Harrison:
Look's like the old rat is out of the bag, eh Andrews?

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I know sir. I've come to clean out my desk.

Jackson Buford Harrison:
Well, if it were up to me, I wouldn't have left you in the building. It only takes one of you filthy creatures and the next thing you know, the whole building's infested.

Gary's Mother:
Gary, you look thinner.

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
Yes mom, I've been eating lots of cheese.

Gary's Mother:
It's about time you visit.

[Gary is welcomed by a woman who doesn't run in fear of him just because he's a giant rat. She's sounds beautiful - but her face is deformed]

Gary 'The Rat' Andrews:
I... whoa! Whoa! WHOA! What happened, were you in a fire?

Priest:
...we are gathered here today to join this woman-slash-thing with gills, and this rat-slash-attorney in holy matrimony...

Walter:
Frank, it's come to my attention that you have leprosy.

Frank:
That's a lie.

[accidentally flings his index finger into Walter's glass of water]

Walter:
Leprosy is an infectious bacterial disease man. That's not the type of lifestyle we can support here...