Good Dog

Doug:
[about Claire] She didn't know who Eichmann was?

George:
Not a clue. A few years ago I wouldn't be able to handle that. Now I can handle it.

Doug:
You can?

George:
Yeah, yeah. I am a lot less crazy than I used to be. I am a lot more aware of my prejudice.

Doug:
And the nanny's Austrian?

George:
Yeah. She looks like Eva Braun.

Doug:
You know what Eva Braun looked like?

George:
I'm guessing what Eva Braun looked like. This woman's in total denial.

Doug:
Denial of what?

George:
Denial of what? Denial of second world war. What are you talking about? I've got this nanny living in my basement, this kind of ironic twist of Anne Frank living in my attic.

Alan:
An advertising company offered him 200,000 dollars to be...

George:
[George interrupts] To be the main character in a series of television commercials.

Alan:
Thank you.

Doug:
Oouh! Well, what product?

Alan:
That's the interesting part.

George:
The interesting part is The Money. Thank you, Alan. Thank you very much.

Doug:
Wow! What's the product thou?

George:
The product is irrelevant. The fact is that is pass on a 200,000 dollar offer.

Doug:
OK, OK. But what's the product? Just tell me.

George:
Are you f***ing parrots? Tell me the product, tell me the product. The point is that I refused to take 200,000 dollars and sell myself as a commody.

Doug:
So you only brought it up so you could brag about your personal integrity?

George:
I'm not bragging!

Doug:
Well, why did you bring it up, if you passed?

George:
I thought you'd be interested.

Doug:
I am interested... in the product. Was it a car? [George says No]

Doug:
Pizza?

George:
Alan, I am busy. OK?

Doug:
Was it a laxative?

Alan:
He is getting warm.

George:
He's not getting warm. He's getting out.

Doug:
A laxative is warm?

Alan:
Yes. [at the same time George says No]

Doug:
I am gonna go out on a limb here. Was it a stool softener? [Alan says Bingo]

Doug:
F***. You got offered 200,000 dollars to be the face of a stool softener? Was your face the part of your anatomy that they would use?

George:
Thank you very much for joining me this afternoon... and allowing me to share this with you. OK? Would you please f*** off and go out there. [Doug says Sure] If you happened to die on your way out that would be help. OK?