Good Luck Charlie

Amy Duncan:
[repeated line] "Ba-BAM!"

Amy Duncan:
[handing Gabe a gift] Merry Christmas, Gabe!

Gabe Duncan:
[enthusiastically, without opening it] Hey, headphones! Thanks, guys!

Grandma Linda Duncan:
How do you know what's in it? You haven't opened it yet.

Gabe Duncan:
Oh, right. [opens the gift]

Gabe Duncan:
[equally enthusiastically] Hey, headphones! Thanks, guys!

Gabe Duncan:
We have an attic?

PJ Duncan:
Yeah, it's upstairs.

Gabe Duncan:
Yeah, yeah, that'd be the place for it...

Charlie Duncan:
Why are you so sad?

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, um... Because we're saying goodbye, Charlie, and that's a very hard thing to do.

Charlie Duncan:
Then say hello.

Gabe Duncan:
I finally get my own room, and now we have to move out.

Bob Duncan:
It's just for a couple of nights. We're gonna get the house checked out, make sure everything's safe...

Teddy Duncan:
Take care of the termite problem...

Bob Duncan:
Thought that was implied... And then we're gonna move back in and everything's gonna be back to normal.

Amy Duncan:
What do you mean, normal? PJ dropped out of college.

PJ Duncan:
Teddy went to Boston!

Teddy Duncan:
Dad brought termites into the house!

Bob Duncan:
Well, Gabe... [pauses] What did you do?

Gabe Duncan:
Nothing. As usual, I'm the good one.

Charlie Duncan:
Mean. [a baby shower guest leaves] Stupid. [another guest leaves] Smelly. [the last party guest leaves] Bye-bye. [waves]

Teddy:
[Teddy is making a home video meant for Charlie] Now what I'm about to show you, is kind of disturbing. So brace yourself.

[Teddy opens the kitchen door to reveal her parents talking baby talk, despite Charlie's absence]

Amy:
Mmmm. These sammitches will be yummy-wummy.

Bob:
Yes they will, yes they will.

Teddy:
Mom and Dad have been talking like that ever since you arrived, and if it's not over soon, I'm gonna go cwazy-wazy.

[Teddy sends her parents out on a date]

Teddy:
Alright, so you guys have fun, stay out as late as you want. But not too much fun. We have enough kids already.

Bob:
Honey, order whatever you want. I get a discount here. They're one of my best customers.

Amy:
Not something you want to hear from an exterminator.

Gabe Duncan:
Charlie asked for a milkshake, so like a good big brother, I decided to make one. Then she forgot to put the top on the blender.

Amy Duncan:
So, you put your baby sister in charge of an electrical appliance?

Gabe Duncan:
And she let me down.

Amy Duncan:
[Grounding Gabe] No TV, no computer, no video games for the rest of the day.

Teddy Duncan:
I think that's fair.

Amy Duncan:
And you're watching him.

Teddy Duncan:
That's so unfair!

Amy Duncan:
And what did I tell you about lying?

Teddy Duncan:
It only works on dad.

Teddy Duncan:
[At the grocery store] Soda and mints? What are these for?

Gabe Duncan:
I'm gonna make a soda geyser. You drop them into the bottle and it makes this huge explosion!

Teddy Duncan:
Wow! That sounds so cool. Put them back.

Hugo:
[to his employee after Charlie inadvertently 'steals' a pair of sunglasses] Tell Alice to call the police.

Teddy Duncan:
What? The police? You're arresting a baby?

Hugo:
Or a very small person. We don't have all the facts yet.

Alice:
It's not my fault. Please don't yell at me!

Hugo:
How many times have we been over this? Whenever you tell me not to yell at you, [yells] it makes me want to yell at you!

Teddy Duncan:
Where have I heard that before?

Alice:
Heard what?

Teddy Duncan:
The [wheezes]

Alice:
In French class.

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! You're Alice Wheezeheimer.

Alice:
It's Wartheimer.

Teddy Duncan:
It is? Are you sure?

Alice:
Is that what people call me behind my back? Wheezeheimer?

Teddy Duncan:
[pauses] No, not at all. Nobody calls you Wheezeheimer. Or Wheezy.

Teddy Duncan:
[about Hugo] The guy's treating you like a doormat.

Alice:
And that's bad?

Teddy Duncan:
Yes. OK, you have to stand up and say: 'You can't mess with me! I'm Alice Wheezeheimer!'

Alice:
Wartheimer!

Teddy Duncan:
That's the fire I'm looking for, Wheezy - I mean, Warty!

Bob Duncan:
Look. Guys, I gave you a shot, but I can't use any of these songs.

PJ Duncan:
Why not?

Bob Duncan:
Well, because... they're not - what's the word - good!

Teddy Duncan:
Gabe, we gotta get out of here.

Gabe Duncan:
Really? You're giving me permission to be bad?

Teddy Duncan:
Yes.

Gabe Duncan:
How bad?

Teddy Duncan:
Do whatever it takes.

Gabe Duncan:
I've been waiting to hear those words my whole life!

PJ Duncan:
Hey, you guys wanna see something funny?

Teddy Duncan:
If this is where you lift your shirt up and make your belly button sing, no thank you.

Amy Duncan:
[after seeing a funny video of Charlie] PJ, you're gonna have to put that online so grandma can see it.

PJ Duncan:
Grandma knows how to go online?

Amy Duncan:
PJ, you're gonna have to put that on a DVD so grandma can watch it.

PJ Duncan:
Grandma got a DVD player?

Amy Duncan:
OK, PJ, you're just gonna have to go over to grandma's house and act it out for her.

PJ Duncan:
[Reading comments about Charlie's video] Here's another one. "You're a pathetic, no-talent loser" with about 19 exclamation points. It was from Gabe D.

Gabe Duncan:
[pauses and gives a look]

PJ Duncan:
[Still unaware it was Gabe] Who are these people?

Gabe Duncan:
There's no way to know.

Amy Duncan:
Gabe, honey, come here. I want to show you something very exciting from mommy's past.

Gabe Duncan:
Teddy told me if I ever heard those words, I should just keep walking.

Amy Duncan:
Ooh, what are you having?

Teddy Duncan:
Toast points with salmon and dill.

Bob Duncan:
Toast points? I say, what's the points?

Bob Duncan:
You can't go over there tomorrow night. The Channel 8 news crew is coming over. They're gonna interview the whole family.

Teddy Duncan:
Yeah, I think I'll pass

Amy Duncan:
What? You don't wanna be on TV with me?

Bob Duncan, PJ Duncan, Gabe Duncan:
US!

Amy Duncan:
Us?

Gabe Duncan:
[about her fake tan] Hey, mom. You got something on your face.

Amy Duncan:
Oh, where?

Gabe Duncan:
Everywhere!

Paul:
Speaking of families, Teddy, when are we gonna get to meet yours?

Teddy Duncan:
Um... well, they're kind of busy, so maybe next summer. Or the one after that.

Linda:
[after seeing the Duncan family embarrass themselves on TV] But Teddy, you're nothing like those people. You're poised and sophisticated and...

Teddy Duncan:
[Burps loudly]

Bob Duncan:
Please, don't hurt us!

Francis:
Give us one good reason why we shouldn't!

PJ Duncan:
Because it would hurt!

[last lines]

[end credits scene, where Gabe and Charlie took a carriage ride with Bob as their pulling "horse"]

PJ Duncan:
Wow. You guys were gone a long time.

Gabe Duncan:
Really? Seemed like 30 seconds.

PJ Duncan:
Oh, did you see anything interesting?

Gabe Duncan:
Nah. Just a bunch of credits.

Amy Duncan:
Remember when I tried out for that cable show, So You Think You Can Yodel?

Teddy Duncan:
Mm-hmm, and they decided you couldn't.

[Teddy got something for Gabe in Chicago. As she goes to get it, Rocky and Cece pop out of her suitcase]

Gabe Duncan:
[smitten] You got me girls?

PJ Duncan:
[Recording Charlie on his keyboard] OK, Charlie, what do you say when you get in trouble?

Charlie Duncan:
Uh-oh.

Amy Duncan:
Oh, Charlie just made an uh-oh? I just changed you!

PJ Duncan:
No Charlie didn't do anything. I'm just sampling her.

Amy Duncan:
[Looks confused]

PJ Duncan:
Sampling means I'm recording all the words she says so I can play them back.

Amy Duncan:
Oh! Oh, we used to do that. We called it tape recording.

Teddy Duncan:
Dad, you promised you'd take me driving today.

Bob Duncan:
To be fair, I promise a lot of things I don't deliver on.

Bob Duncan:
Boy, I tell you. Nothing good ever happens when I leave the bathroom.

Charlie Duncan:
[On PJ's keyboard] Bye bye. B-b-b-b-bye bye.

Bob Duncan:
[On his way to teach Teddy how to drive] What's that?

PJ Duncan:
Just in case you don't make it back.

Amy Duncan:
PJ, what d'you get Teddy for her birthday?

PJ Duncan:
Birthday?

Amy Duncan:
Your sister's turning 16. We're having a surprise party for her tonight.

PJ Duncan:
Well, it's working 'cause I'm surprised!

Amy Duncan:
The party starts at 7. You have to get her a present - and something nice.

PJ Duncan:
How about...

Amy Duncan:
Not another sock puppet!

Gabe Duncan:
What did I just walk into?

PJ Duncan:
Mom says we have to buy Teddy a birthday present.

Gabe Duncan:
What about a dog? I bet she'd like a dog.

Amy Duncan:
I'm serious. You have to get her something.

Gabe Duncan:
What about a dog? I bet she'd like a dog.

Amy Duncan:
[Thinks] Gabe, is there a dog in my house?

Gabe Duncan:
[Dog barks from the living room] Maybe.

Teddy Duncan:
Mom, dad says I can't get my license.

Amy Duncan:
What? Why not?

Bob Duncan:
Because she's not ready.

Teddy Duncan:
Well, my driving instructor thinks I am. He says I'm doing great.

Bob Duncan:
The man works for the public schools! He's got nothing to live for!

Teddy Duncan:
Mom, can you say something?

Amy Duncan:
Teddy, honey, I'm sorry, but your father has a very small area of authority... and unfortunately for you, teaching you kids to drive is part of it.

Bob Duncan:
So what else is in that area?

Amy Duncan:
Barbecuing. That's it.

Bob Duncan:
[to the dog, after arguing with Teddy] Hey. You're on my side, right?

Bob Duncan:
[pause, then realizes he's never seen this dog before] Honey?

Amy Duncan:
Yeah?

Bob Duncan:
Why am I talking to a dog?

Bob Duncan:
Hey, you know something? He kinda reminds me of your uncle Stan.

Amy Duncan:
What?

Bob Duncan:
No, take a look. The wet nose? The bloodshot eyes?

Amy Duncan:
Come on! He... [pause] Oh, now I see it.

PJ Duncan:
I have a friend who's turning 16 and I have to buy her a birthday present.

Teddy Duncan:
Mmm... well, I know your friend wouldn't want a sock puppet.

PJ Duncan:
OK. Well, what would she want?

Teddy Duncan:
Well, um, she'd probably like boots. Like, like that cool store at the mall? But not the black ones with the purple trim. She already has those.

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, hi Mrs Dabney.

Mrs. Dabney:
I see you people have a dog now.

Teddy Duncan:
[Thinking it's an insult] Oh, I'm doing fine, thanks. How are you?

Mrs. Dabney:
Let me explain something to you. Your dog makes my cat nervous. And whne my cat gets nervous, I get nervous. And when I get nervous, Mr Dabney gets nervous.

Teddy Duncan:
Then what happens?

Mrs. Dabney:
Mr Dabney goes to stay with his mother... so this dog thing is not entirely bad. All right! We're done here!

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, uh, Mrs Dabney. Before you go, um, I need some more practice hours before I take my driver's test, so if you ever need a chauffeur, I'm your girl.

Mrs. Dabney:
[Whips out her keys] Let's go.

Teddy Duncan:
[pause] Right now?

Mrs. Dabney:
I've got a bunch of errands to run. And if you drive, I can play Word Jumble on my cell phone. Actually, I do that anyway, but this way it's legal.

Gabe Duncan:
So, what's Teddy's shoe size?

PJ Duncan:
I don't know.

Gabe Duncan:
You don't know her shoe size?

PJ Duncan:
I don't know her middle name!

PJ Duncan:
[Holds a pair of girl boots] Here. Try these on.

Gabe Duncan:
No! I'm not putting on girl boots.

PJ Duncan:
Oh, come on! It'll look good with that girl shirt you're wearing!

Gabe Duncan:
[Referring to his T-shirt picture] It's not a pony! It's a stallion!

PJ Duncan:
[Teasing Gabe, who's walking in girl boots at a shoe store] Wow! Those do wonders for your legs!

Gabe Duncan:
OK! That's enough!

PJ Duncan:
[Trying to pull girl boots off Gabe's feet] Why are your feet so fat?

Gabe Duncan:
They're not fat! They're husky!

Gabe Duncan:
[His feet are stuck in women's boots] What are we gonna do?

PJ Duncan:
There's only one thing to do.

Gabe Duncan:
Who are you calling?

PJ Duncan:
No, I'm taking a picture of you in girl boots!

Mrs. Dabney:
Light's not getting any greener.

Teddy Duncan:
No, I, I know. But the car in front of me hasn't moved yet.

Mrs. Dabney:
Here's a quick driving lesson. [Honks horn] Wake up, grandpa!

Teddy Duncan:
[to the other driver] Sorry! That was her, not me! [to Mrs. Dabney, after being flipped the bird] Oh, look! Grandpa's telling us we're number one!

Mrs. Dabney:
No, he's not! He's...

Teddy Duncan:
I know what he's doing!

Teddy Duncan:
We should probably stop for gas.

Mrs. Dabney:
In this car, you can drive 100 miles on empty. I'll tell you when we need gas.

[about an hour later, the car breaks down in the mountains]

Mrs. Dabney:
*Now* we need gas!

Amy Duncan:
[to her dog] No, you're a good dog. I'm gonna call you Sweetie Pie, cos you da Sweetie Pie!

Charlie Duncan:
Mommy.

Amy Duncan:
Charlie, not now!

Gabe Duncan:
[Walking home with girl boots stuck on his feet] Mom, we've got a problem!

Amy Duncan:
Oh, you sure do! Those boots do not go with those shorts!

Teddy Duncan:
Does any of this look familiar?

Mrs. Dabney:
Looks like the same road we drove down ten minutes ago.

Teddy Duncan:
What, so I'm just going in circles and you didn't want to say anything?

Mrs. Dabney:
I thought my annoyed silence was speaking volumes.

PJ Duncan:
Great cake, mom.

Amy Duncan:
I got it at the store.

PJ Duncan:
I know. That's why I said "Great cake, mom".

Teddy Duncan:
[Filming video for Charlie] Big news is I got my drivers' licence, which means I now have total freedom to go wherever I want.

Amy Duncan:
Teddy, I need you to pick up some things at the store.

Bob Duncan:
And while you're out, the car needs gas.

PJ Duncan:
And pick up Gabe, just 'cause I don't want to.

Teddy Duncan:
Hey Charlie, check this out. Here's something nobody has ever seen before. Gabe is brushing his hair.

Gabe Duncan:
Do you have to videotape everything we do? This isn't a reality show!

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, I know it's not reality because he took a shower without being asked!

Teddy Duncan:
You know what I think? I think you like someone.

Gabe Duncan:
So what if I do? It's no big deal.

Teddy Duncan:
What, are you kidding? Your first crush is a huge deal.

Gabe Duncan:
Look, she's a girl, I'm a guy. These things happen every day.

Teddy Duncan:
Not to you.

Gabe Duncan:
[Giddy] I know! Can you believe it?

Amy Duncan:
PJ, honey? Can you watch Charlie after school? I have to work.

PJ Duncan:
I can't. I'm working, too. I can take Charlie with me if you want. [to Charlie] You wanna help your big brother deliver chicken?

Amy Duncan:
Or you can come to the hospital and help mommy change bedpans. [pause, then to PJ] You take her.

Bob Duncan:
Gabe, you wearing aftershave?

Gabe Duncan:
A little.

Bob Duncan:
Why would you do that? You're not shaving yet.

Gabe Duncan:
So long as we're being logical, why do you still have a comb?

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
I'm going out of town for a couple of days and I was wondering if you'd be kind enough to look after my cat, Kaboodle.

Teddy Duncan:
Oh... I don't know. I'm awfully busy.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
I'll pay you $20 a day.

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, my schedule just opened up.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
I can trust you, right?

Teddy Duncan:
Of course.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
You do seem to be the least disturbed of all the Duncan kids.

Teddy Duncan:
What an almost sweet thing to say.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
You need to know that Kaboodle is the most important thing in the world to me.

Teddy Duncan:
How's Mr Dabney doing?

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
Like I said, love that Kaboodle.

Angie:
Who's this little cutie-pie?

PJ Duncan:
[Snorts] I'm PJ!

Angie:
[about Charlie] I meant the other cutie-pie.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
Virginia brings her cat Stanley over. What a ridiculous name for a cat.

Teddy Duncan:
Kaboodle!

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
Stanley!

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
But so my little Kaboodie won't make a scene, you need to distract him.

Teddy Duncan:
[In baby voice to Kaboodle] Should I pretend to be a mouse?

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
Yes.

Teddy Duncan:
I was joking.

Mrs. Estelle Dabney:
I wasn't.

Amy Duncan:
[Sees Teddy imitating a mouse to Kaboodle] Teddy, honey, did you lose something?

Teddy Duncan:
Only my dignity.

Gabe Duncan:
Mom, can you help me with something?

Amy Duncan:
Sure, honey. What can I do for you?

Gabe Duncan:
Well, I have this friend and he needs to know how to talk to girls.

Amy Duncan:
Does this friend have a name?

Gabe Duncan:
No-ooooorman.

Amy Duncan:
Noooooorman? That's an odd name.

Gabe Duncan:
Well, I think he's from Nooooooorway.

Amy Duncan:
I remember my first crush.

Gabe Duncan:
Was it dad?

Amy Duncan:
[Sarcastically] Sure, why not?

Gabe Duncan:
So, just ask her stuff and listen to the answer? That sounds easy!

Amy Duncan:
Sure! Relationships are a piece of cake. That's why married people are always so happy.

Gabe Duncan:
Did dad ever get nervous talking to you?

Amy Duncan:
When your dad and I started dating, we didn't do a lot of talking. Mostly we just...

Gabe Duncan:
Just what?

Amy Duncan:
[pause] Played checkers. Lots and lots of checkers.

PJ Duncan:
Hey dad.

Bob Duncan:
Hey.

PJ Duncan:
Uh, you're taking care of Charlie tomorrow afternoon, right?

Bob Duncan:
I believe I am.

PJ Duncan:
You know, I was thinking maybe she can come to work with me.

Bob Duncan:
Why?

PJ Duncan:
Because I... feel like I didn't do enough when Teddy and Gabe were babies.

Bob Duncan:
Enough? You didn't do anything!

PJ Duncan:
I know. And it haunts me.

Gabe Duncan:
[Feeling nervous] Tell me about yourself.

Kit:
What?

Gabe Duncan:
I mean, only if you want to.

Kit:
OK. What do you want to know?

Gabe Duncan:
Erm, tell me about your family.

Kit:
My family. Well, actually, there's not much to tell. I'm an only child.

Gabe Duncan:
Me too.

Kit:
Cool!

Gabe Duncan:
What else?

Kit:
Well, my parents are divorced...

Gabe Duncan:
[pause] Mine, too.

Kit:
Who do you live with?

Gabe Duncan:
Who do *you* live with?

Kit:
My mom.

Gabe Duncan:
Me too!

Kit:
Wow! We really have a lot in common.

Gabe Duncan:
You know, I had a feeling we might. You want half a peanut butter sandwich?

Kit:
No, thanks. I'm allergic to peanuts.

Gabe Duncan:
[Throws his sandwich away] Me too.

Teddy Duncan:
Mrs. Dabney, why are you back here?

Virginia Dabney:
Oh, I'm not Estelle. I'm her sister, Virginia.

Teddy Duncan:
Wow! You really look like Mrs. Dabney.

Virginia Dabney:
Except for my laugh lines. Estelle doesn't have any of those!

Virginia Dabney:
Oh, you look like a nice little boy. Would you like some candy?

Gabe Duncan:
Only if you eat one first.

Virginia Dabney:
You're as cute as the dickies!

Teddy Duncan:
OK, this is dang freaky!

Teddy Duncan:
[about Kaboodle] Do you think he's sick?

Virginia Dabney:
You'd better hope not. I'd hate to be in your shoes if something happened to my sister's baby.

Teddy Duncan:
What, y... it's not my fault. She'd understand that, right?

Virginia Dabney:
[Sarcastically] Oh, yeah. She's very understanding.

Teddy Duncan:
Come on, Kaboodle. Perk up.

Virginia Dabney:
This does not look good.

Teddy Duncan:
Oh, I know what'll cheer you up! Mr. Mouse, right? [Imitates mouse]

Virginia Dabney:
This does not look good either.

Teddy Duncan:
You know, I didn't know veterinarians made house calls.

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Oh, they don't. I'm a therapist.

Teddy Duncan:
Uh, a therapist for cats?

Dr. Tish Tushy:
And birds. But never at the same time. You only make that mistake once.

Teddy Duncan:
So... w-what's wrong with Kaboodle?

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Well, his aura is off, his chakras are out of line... how's his poop?

Teddy Duncan:
Fine. How's... yours?

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Well, that's a little personal! But since you asked, super good and getting better!

Teddy Duncan:
Maybe we should get back to the cat, Dr. Tushy.

Dr. Tish Tushy:
It's Tuh-shy.

Teddy Duncan:
Tushy.

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Uh-uh. Tuh-shy.

Teddy Duncan:
Tushy?

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Tuh-shy. Tuh-shy. Tuh-shy.

Teddy Duncan:
Do you have a first name?

Dr. Tish Tushy:
Tish.

Dr. Tish Tushy:
[Dr. Tushy tells Teddy to heal Kaboodle by touching him and sending him loving thoughts] Do you have a thought?

Teddy Duncan:
Ooh, I'm having a few of them!

Gabe Duncan:
I have a probl... what are you doing?

Teddy Duncan:
[Carrying Kaboodle on a harness] Readjusting Kaboodle's aura. Duh!

Teddy Duncan:
What's wrong?

Gabe Duncan:
The girl I like is here with her mom.

Teddy Duncan:
What's wrong with that?

Gabe Duncan:
Well, I told her mom and dad were divorced and that I'm an only child. What am I gonna do?

Teddy Duncan:
OK, the first thing you're gonna do is calm down. Your negative energy is upsetting the cat.

Teddy Duncan:
Hi, I'm Teddy the housekeeper, see?

Dana:
Hi, I'm Dana. This is Kit.

Kit:
Why are you wearing a cat?

Teddy Duncan:
Er... because in my country, we have a saying: "The house looks its best when a cat's... on your chest".

Dana:
W-what country is that?

Teddy Duncan:
Canada.

Kit:
This baby is so cute!

Amy Duncan:
Isn't she?

Dana:
She sure makes me want some baby-back ribs!

Teddy Duncan:
Well, Charlie, the good news is Kaboodle's fine. Turns out all he needed was a trip to the litterbox. But, erm... the bad news is Gabe's romance with Kit is over.

Gabe Duncan:
Well, the good news is I don't have to shower any more.

Teddy Duncan:
Mom, don't take this the wrong way, but why did you guys have to have another baby?

Amy Duncan:
Well, because... three kids was just too easy. Three's for quitters!

Teddy Duncan:
I have a study date.

Casey Duncan:
Don't you mean 'studly' date? [Mocks Teddy by making kissing faces]

Teddy Duncan:
Ugh! Save them for your pillow!

Ivy Wentz:
Teddy, get with it. Kids don't read anymore. You're so old school.

Teddy Duncan:
And if you don't read your book, you're gonna be old and still going to school!

Mr. Dingwall:
Charlie's a pig! I've died and gone to Heaven!

Bob Duncan:
Listen up! All right! We're gonna pull this together, we're gonna play as a team and we're gonna give it our all!

Jake:
And then we'll win?

Bob Duncan:
Not a chance!

Jake:
We never should've fired your dad.

Gabe Duncan:
It was your idea.

Jake:
Dude, I was topped up on ice cream!

Bob Duncan:
[after Gabe asks him to be their basketball coach] Let me guess. Coach Fun didn't work out, so now you're crawling back to dad. Well, you know what? Maybe I've moved on.

Gabe Duncan:
Fine. I'll go ask Nick's dad.

Bob Duncan:
No, no, no! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it!

Bob Duncan:
That's it! I'm bringing out the big guns. That's right... Mom!

PJ Duncan:
We're not scared of you!

PJ Duncan:
This is bad.

Teddy Duncan:
Lock 'er up.

Gabe:
OY OY OY

PJ:
OY OY OYSTER?

Gabe:
No I mean OINKY OINK OINK OINKKKKK