Gravity Falls

[repeated line]

Cute Biker:
Get 'em! Get 'em!

Mabel Pines:
Emergency salami? Soos, my respect for you has grown!

Grunkle Stan:
[in Trooth Ache, while watching TV with Dipper and Mabel, and wearing magic truth dentures] Sometimes I think, is this all there is? Is life just, some horrific joke, without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?

[Mabel cradles in terror, and Dipper shudders]

Grunkle Stan:
Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!

Mabel Pines:
Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!

Grunkle Stan:
It all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has *big plans.*

Grunkle Stan:
You know, I've made up my mind. The room belongs to you, Dipper.

Mabel Pines:
[as Dipper] You can't, you have to give it to Mabel.

Grunkle Stan:
Shhh, you've had me a "shut up, old man."

Mabel Pines:
No!

Grenda:
"... The End."

Dipper Pines:
[as Mabel] Phew.

Grenda:
Now for the 38 sequels.

Dipper Pines:
NO!

Mabel Pines:
Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?

Candy Chiu:
[grabs popcorn with forks] Improvement of human being.

Bill Cipher:
Remember: reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold. Bye!

Mabel Pines:
Lick that elbow! Lick that elbow!

Soos:
Like the infinite horizon, it eludes my grasp.

Grunkle Stan:
[about Dipper] He's really comin' along. When push comes to shove, I'm actually proud of him. Just don't ever tell him that. His head's big enough as it is.

Soos:
[giggles] That's true.

Bill Cipher:
Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Soos:
This is it dudes, my favourite place in Gravity Falls. Everything I know I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross the street [points to "Frogtime" game] . When my house was haunted I learned how to eat ghosts [gestures to "ghost maze" game] . And this thing taught me how to dance [gestures to "Ho-Down Hero" game] .

Rumble McSkirmish:
Winners don't lose!

Grunkle Stan:
[Arrives at crash scene in time before Dipper and Mabel's arrest] Wait, wait stop everything! I've got something to say!

Sheriff Blubs:
Not this guy, again

Grunkle Stan:
Just wait look. You guys all think Gideon is so perfect and honest, "Oh, I could never tell a lie, I'm Gideon."

Sheriff Blubs:
He's more honest then you.

Deputy Durland:
Yeah, and he's psychic too.

Grunkle Stan:
How's this for psychic? Bam!

[Stan kicks a part of the Gideon Robot, showing a screening room]

Grunkle Stan:
Take a good look.

Lazy Susan:
Wait a minute, is that me?

Lazy Susan:
[Susan on screening room monitor] The secret ingredient to my coffee omelette, is coffee.

Toby Determined:
[Another monitor shows Toby lifting his shirt in front of a doctor] And me.

Additional Voices:
I can verify that that birth mark is indeed disgusting.

Toby Determined:
Hooray.

[Other towns people notice that their on Gideon's monitors]

Grunkle Stan:
That's right, these pins are hidden cameras, and my hearing aid was picking up the feedback. Who's the fraud now?

Shandra Jimenez:
[after police arrest and take away Gideon] There you have it. local hero, Stanford Pines, has just exposed Lil Gideon as a fraud. Anything you like to say to the town, Stanford?

Grunkle Stan:
The Mystery Shack is back, baby!

Dipper Pines:
[after Gideon tells everyone that Dipper and Mabel tried to kill him] Officers, he's lying!

Sheriff Blubs:
Sorry kids, but we trust Gideon. And nothing short of a miracle could ever change our. [Sheriff Blubs is interrupted when Grunkle Stan drives up to rescue Dipper and Mabel]

Quentin Trembley:
You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman!

Mabel Pines:
I'm legalizing everything!

Grunkle Stan:
Just ten minutes, without this pig in the house. Is that so much to ask? [ties Waddles to a spike out front]

Grunkle Stan:
There. Mabel ask, [place a dollar bill around the neck knot of Waddles] this never happened.

Grunkle Stan:
[Intimating Mabel] "Oh but Grunkle Stan, it's not safe out there. There's predators," Oh brother. [Pterodactyl snatches Waddles and flies away]

Mabel Pines:
Oooooooohhh! Old people movies! Get ready for references we won't understand and words we can't repeat.

Dipper:
[Performing an exorcism] Exodus demonus, spookus-scareus. Ain'tafraidus Noghostus.

Mabel Pines:
[screams] Braces! Braces caught in the screen door! Someone dictate my will! I'm giving it all to Waddles!

Soos:
[gasps] A woman! All right, Soos, you can do this. Just use your mouth to say words that make romance happen. Your face is good! I'm a Soos!

Dipper Pines:
Wow. You work here?

Wendy:
I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seat in the house.

Dipper Pines:
Yeah, you do! [laughs, then whispers] I've been laughing for too long.

Soos:
Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest? 'Cause I think you're winning.

Little Old Lady:
If she says no, I think I'll just die of sadness.

Doctor:
I can verify that that will indeed happen.

Bud Gleeful:
Gideon Charles Gleeful, you clean up your room this instant!

Lil Gideon:
[shouting] I can buy and sell you, old man!

Bud Gleeful:
[shrugs] Fair enough.

Bud Gleeful:
You simply must come in for coffee.

Grunkle Stan:
But, but I came...

Bud Gleeful:
It's imported! All the way from Colombia!

Grunkle Stan:
Wow! I went to jail there once!

Mabel Pines:
Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?

Wendy:
Oh yeah. Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson...

Mabel Pines:
I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross.

Wendy:
...Psyche Wirley, Nate Holt, ugh, that guy with the tattoos...

Mabel Pines:
Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest breakup.

Wendy:
...Danny Feldman, Mark Epsteen. [gasp] Oh man. I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me.

Mabel Pines:
I know what I gotta do. Thanks for talkin' to me, Wendy.

Wendy:
[cell phone buzzes, presses a button] Ignore.

Announcer:
You're watching the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel.

Grunkle Stan:
[watching TV alone] Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!

Announcer:
Stay tuned for the Friday night movie "The Duchess Approves," starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as "The Duchess" and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain "Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire."

Grunkle Stan:
*Kids!*

Mabel Pines:
The future, is in the past

Mabel Pines:
ONWARDS AOSHIMA!

Mabel:
Today, I learned that morality is relative!

Grunkle Stan:
All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?

Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines:
Yay!

Dipper Pines:
Wait, what?

Dipper Pines:
All right, if we wanna win this contest, we've gotta do it right! Think: what's the number one problem with most monster hunts?

Soos:
You're a side character and you die in the first five minutes of the movie. [pause] Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?

Stan:
[on a boat, to a couple on another boat with the man about to propose] Wanna hear a joke? Here goes: my ex-wife still misses me *but her aim is getting better!* *Her aim is getting better!* You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible!

Mabel Pines:
Grunkle Stan, is that legal?

Grunkle Stan:
When there's no cops around, anything's legal!

Mabel Pines:
He was my soul mate!

Dipper Pines:
You said that about a ball of yarn once!

Soos:
My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse.

Dipper Pines:
[final lines] If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called "Gravity Falls". It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods. Waiting.

Mabel:
Today, I learned that morality is irrelevant.

(Everyone is silent in surprise)

Stan:
(runs into the room) MONEY!(grabs some of the gold and runs off, crashing through the wall)

Shmebulock!

Mabel Pines:
I just wish summer could never end

Fancy floor, fancy plants, fancy man!

SOMETIMES A MAN HAS TO STEAL AN ANIMATRONIC BADGER TO STAY IN THIS CRAZY GAME CALLED LIFE

You can’t force someone to love you the best thing you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving -Dipper