Dr. Miller:
Want Sex? Brush your teeth

Dan Parker:
Calm down buddy, life is short.

Cindy Parker:
Girls, your father needs you now.

Chelsea Parker:
But Daddy, water isn't a food it's a drink!

Dan Parker:
Or is it?

Dan Parker:
ICE!

Dan Parker:
My name is Dan Parker, and I have... gingivitis.

Chelsea:
I had a dream about daddy that he was chasing me and he bit off my leg.