NCIS: New Orleans

[Repeated line]

Dwayne Pride:
Laissez les bon temps rollez.

NOPD Detective Dinah Clark:
Friend's a pretty strong word, Christopher. I always liked King. [Referring to LaSalle] I tolerated him.

Meredith Brody:
I know what you mean. Nice to meet you.

Danny Malloy:
I see how it is. Once a gangster, always a gangster, right?

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Don't you ever play that card with me! [Rises to leave] I'll come back later when you stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Danny Malloy:
If I tell you...

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Stop! Don't say another word.

Dwayne Pride:
Loretta?

Dr. Loretta Wade:
I'm sorry, Dwayne. But Danny's not saying another word until he sees a lawyer.

Meredith Brody:
Okay, the third thing?

Sebastian Lund:
I killed Chris.

Meredith Brody:
Chris as in Lasalle?

Sebastian Lund:
Chris as in LaBee. There was an incident when I tried to run further tests. We got into it, and he stung me.

Meredith Brody:
Ouch.

Sebastian Lund:
Honestly, you know, I think he was just depressed. It was one of those classic death-by-scientist kind of things.

Meredith Brody:
[phone beeps] Chris.

Sebastian Lund:
The person, I assume?

Meredith Brody:
Yeah, gotta go.

Sebastian Lund:
Okay. Hey, when you see him, you'll tell him it wasn't personal.

Sebastian Lund:
Well, then I guess it's a good thing Chris and Merri are on the case. Not you Chris and Merri, the other Chris and Merri.

Meredith Brody:
Really?

Sebastian Lund:
named the bees. So, most of the specimens came back DOA, but two of them were just stunned. So I nursed 'em back to health and when they're no longer evidence, I'm considering becoming an urban apiarist. Chris and Merri, meet Chris and Merri.

Meredith Brody:
Hmmm. Which is which?

Sebastian Lund:
Well, Chris is the one with the funny accent.

Paul Jenks:
Still alive, huh? I figured I had a 50/50 shot.

Dwayne Pride:
Where you at, Baitfish? I'll come by. Give you another chance.

Dwayne Pride:
Not your Baitfish anymore.

Dwayne Pride:
Sure, you are.

Paul Jenks:
Grown into a whale, didn't I? Your partner's girlfriend, those cops - just a preview. Harder you come at me, the more bodies drop. That's a guarantee. How much pain can you take, Pride?

Dwayne Pride:
No. Question is: how much pain can you? Hear me.I will never stop until I end you.

Paul Jenks:
Still alive, huh? I figured I had a 50/50 shot.

Dwayne Pride:
Where you at, Baitfish? I'll come by. Give you another chance.

Paul Jenks:
Not your Baitfish anymore.

Dwayne Pride:
Sure, you are.

Paul Jenks:
Grown into a whale, didn't I? Your partner's girlfriend, those cops - just a preview. Harder you come at me, the more bodies drop. That's a guarantee. How much pain can you take, Pride?

Dwayne Pride:
No. Question is: how much pain can you? Hear me.I will never stop until I end you.

Dwayne Pride:
I see what's going on here, Chris. Partying, women, not sleeping...

Christopher LaSalle:
t hasn't interfered with my job, King.There's no reason for this.

Dwayne Pride:
It's all just a temporary fix.

Christopher LaSalle:
Okay?

Dwayne Pride:
Just so you don't have to deal with Savannah's death.

Christopher LaSalle:
It's the noises outside my window. All right? That's why I can't sleep at home. People yelling, street musicians... Savannah and I, we used to we used to just lay there listening and laughing. And now, when I slow down, I hear those noises.

Dwayne Pride:
There's no way around pain. All you can do is make friends with the devil. Feel it move through it. For me, I got my music. Piano. That's how I lean in find peace.Just need to figure out what that is for you.

Christopher LaSalle:
And then what? I'm all better?

Dwayne Pride:
Then you're on the road to better. Hear Me?

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Science doesn't care about the lies men tell.

NCIS Special Agent Patton Plame:
I cracked the encryption on Drayer's computer. Chalk up another V for double P. Boy, this Drayer was good. This guy designed a cryptographic attack so that the output of the infected cryptosystem could be computationally indistinguishable from the output of the corresponding uninfected cryptosystem, then used an asymmetric encryption to implement a cryptographic back door.

Dwayne Pride:
What do you mean by that?

NCIS Special Agent Patton Plame:
Which part?

Dwayne Pride:
All of it.

Sebastian Lund:
The only thing you gotta understand is back door.

NCIS Special Agent Patton Plame:
Which is what I said.

Sebastian Lund:
Yeah, except I'm saying it in English.

Sebastian Lund:
[Referring to his girlfriend] What do you think?

Dwayne Pride:
[Smiles and puts his hand on Lund's shoulder] Terrified?

Sebastian Lund:
Oh, big time.

Dwayne Pride:
Then you're doin' good.

Patton Plame:
Got your message. The doctor's phone SIM card? Pride, how'd you get that? By my mind, that's supposed to be property of the Charleston PD.

Dwayne Pride:
I borrowed it.

Patton Plame:
You stole it.

Dwayne Pride:
Stole implies that you have no intention of giving it back.

Patton Plame:
You say tomato; I say stole!

Sebastian Lund:
So, even though we've identified the vehicle, I kept trying to reconstruct that headlight. But, of course, I got nowhere cuz it's like trying to put together one of those crazy thousand piece puzzles where the whole image is just one color. I mean, give me a point of reference on those, you know, like a fire hobgoblin, or a... basilisk. Something to- [At Pride's hard look] A basilisk is a reptilian monster that petrifies with a single gaze.

Dwayne Pride:
A gaze like this?

Sebastian Lund:
Yeah, you... you got it down.

Dwayne Pride:
When we get back you can tell me what the Hell a fire hobgoblin is.

Sebastian Lund:
Most dangerous of all the hobgoblins. Thought it was obvious.

Meredith Brody:
Nothing helpful at the first three places Josh took the baby.

Chris LaSalle:
What's next?

Meredith Brody:
Supermarket, two blocks up.

Chris LaSalle:
You ever consider kids?

Meredith Brody:
Consider? Yeah. But living life as an agent all you ever see is things gone bad. Makes it hard to think about bringing home a little bundle of.

Chris LaSalle:
Potential things to go bad.

Meredith Brody:
Yeah.

Chris LaSalle:
I got to say I'm into having a whole basketball team full of little Lasalles. But procreating in my family is like playing the gene pool lottery. My brother Cade, he's not the only branch off the family tree with issues

Meredith Brody:
I get it. But a Lasalle family basketball team? That'd be pretty cool.

Christopher LaSalle:
If I tell you I went to the MCRD to see the RTB to meet the SDI.

Sonja Percy:
You'd go to the Marine Corps Depot to the Recruit Training Battalion to see the Senior Drill Instructor

Sebastian Lund:
Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Louisiana anymore

Christopher LaSalle:
Now, you can uh...

Sonja Percy:
Clean the shotguns? Done. Get Agent Pride his chicory? Also done. And that mail? Collated by recipient, stacked by size.

Meredith Brody:
Kind of into having a newbie, especially one that's not me.

Sonja Percy:
Listen here, luscious locks, I transferred from ATF, which means I come in as a full agent.

Ellie Bishop:
No time. *You* need to take me to Dr. Wade. I come bearing gifts.

[Bishop uncovers a body]

Christopher LaSalle:
You could've just brought bagels.

Ellie Bishop:
Who says I didn't?

Ellie Bishop:
Never racking. I was sure I'd get pull over by Highway Patrol. I had no idea how to explain a dead Russian diplomat in my van.

Christopher LaSalle:
Wouldn't be the weirdest thing they ever saw - not by far.

Dwayne Pride:
Meeting was about Manta Ray? DOD compartmented project?

Leroy Jethro Gibbs:
Not any more. I spoke with SecDef. He read me in. And you're next.

Meredith Brody:
I may have let it slip once.

Ellie Bishop:
Okay. [Pride enters]

Dwayne Pride:
Ellie! [Pride hugs Bishop]

Ellie Bishop:
Hey.

Dwayne Pride:
Hey, how you doing?

Ellie Bishop:
Good.

Dwayne Pride:
Good. Good. Listen once this case is done, we'll had over to Sal's. Crawfish and beer. And we'll sort all this out. [Bishop glares at Brody]

Meredith Brody:
Maybe twice.

Dwayne Pride:
You can think about everything I just said. However, I'm the least of your worries. [Pride dials a number. Over the phone]

Abby Sciuto:
Hello, Dwayne?

Dwayne Pride:
Abby.

Abby Sciuto:
*Please* tell me my brother is there.

Dwayne Pride:
Yeah, he's right here. [Pride puts the phone down in front of Luca]

Paulina Kurteva:
I'm perfectly capable of keeping my own house in order.

Dwayne Pride:
Really? Cause by my count - you're down by five. I haven't lost anyone.

Meredith Brody:
[Luca's missing] Patton's monitoring his credit cards.

Christopher LaSalle:
We're hitting the streets. He's not getting far, King

Dwayne Pride:
All that's well and good. But there's still one thing we need to do... Someone needs to tell Abby.

Luca Sciuto:
Abby put a tracking device in my shoe, didn't she? It's like college all over again.

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
mm.Panspermia

Sebastian Lund:
Yeah, that's a very astute observation. They do look like microscopic alien life-forms that inhabited the universe by getting trapped in debris How the hell do you know that? Are you a scientist? You work for the government? Like, the government, government?

Christopher LaSalle:
Richard Kimble? Really? As in, Dr. Richard Kimble. All of sudden, you're the fugitive now?

Cade Lambert:
Yeah, well, it seemed kinda fitting. I mean, I am being chased and all.

Christopher LaSalle:
Yeah, I have searched every gas station, residence, warehouse, farm house, hen house, outhouse and dog house for you.

Professor Sandra Jones:
A few months ago, I saw Mark and Cindy at dinner.

Dwayne Pride:
Friends can have dinner.

Professor Sandra Jones:
Friends don't kiss other friends on the lips.

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
Well, sometimes after a few drinks... [At Pride's sideways look] Well, I'm just saying it happens.

Sebastian Lund:
[Pointing to an area on the deck of a boat] See this discoloration here? Watch what happens when I drop some acid. [pauses when Pride and Borin look at him] For... science.

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
How much is one of those pesos worth today?

Sebastian Lund:
Five hundred a pop. Then the government turned the area into a marine research preserve before anyone could find out how many were really down there. Makes you wonder what else they're keeping from us.

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
We should call Mulder and Scully.

Sebastian Lund:
Best villain. Toomes or Pusher?

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
Toomes.

Sebastian Lund:
Best episode. Squeeze or Drive?

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
Squeeze.

Sebastian Lund:
Who are you? [She raises her eyebrows teasingly at him]

Dwayne Pride:
Okay. So. Anna steals the pesos, killed her friends and escaped on the dinghy. Or, she got in the way of someone who did.

CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin:
The truth is out there, Pride. [Gives Lund a meaningful glance] We just haven't found it yet.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
[Speculating about the latest victim's cause of death] No way to tell for sure until I get...

Dwayne Pride:
Get him on the table?

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Yeah.

Dwayne Pride:
Gonna get you a t-shirt made with that written on the front.

Sebastian Lund:
And yet someone got to go to the crime scene today.

Danny Malloy:
Jealousy ain't a good look, bro.

Sebastian Lund:
Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous? After working here for, like, five years and only getting to go to the crime scene from time to time.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Danny merely drove me.

Sebastian Lund:
I have a license. I can drive.

Danny Malloy:
Says the dude who's afraid to make left turns.

Dwayne Pride:
[Referring to the victim] Red flags in his personal life?

Patton Plame:
I ran the cash financials. Dumped his phone. Found two things. Jack and squat. This dude is Mr. Clean Clean.

Marcus Martel:
And make it Fast?

Sebastian Lund:
Yeah, I know. But contrary to my wildest dreams, I'm not Han Solo, this is not a lightsaber, and Mr. Armstrong is not a Tauntaun.

Dr. Timofey Yeltin:
No talk! No talk! America, rights, da?

Christopher LaSalle:
Well, what about the rights of that girl you murdered?

Dr. Timofey Yeltin:
I don't understand. Stupid Police!

Meredith Brody:
NOPD's on the way.

Christopher LaSalle:
You tell 'em to bring a translator? 'Cause I can't understand a word Baryshnikov here is saying.

Meredith Brody:
Why murder the girl?

Dr. Timofey Yeltin:
I didn't murder anyone

Meredith Brody:
Rosetta Stone. I was gonna take a semester in Moscow, but it's too cold.

Christopher LaSalle, Meredith Brody:
tell us what's going on here?

Dr. Timofey Yeltin:
Why I should talk to you?

Christopher LaSalle:
Because you're facing the death penalty if you don't. How do you say "lethal injection"?

Meredith Brody:
Uh, Rosetta Stone doesn't really cover stuff like that.

Meredith Brody:
[Sebastian is bandaging Louise's finger] Very impressive, Sebastian. Where did you learn how to do this?

Sebastian Lund:
I got my, uh, Red Cross certification when I was dorm captain at college. It was a good way to meet girls.

Christopher LaSalle:
What happened?

Sebastian Lund:
I met a few.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Well...

Sebastian Lund:
Eloise. She was pre-med. She fainted after she got this really bad paper cut though...

Christopher LaSalle:
I meant Loretta's wound.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Sebastian's a connoisseur of conspiracy theories.

Sebastian Lund:
Well, they're not conspiracies, okay? They're discernments. Just wait till I show you how the fake moon landing fits in with why we haven't found Bigfoot yet.

Dwayne Pride:
Alright. I'll speak to Blake's Master Chief, find out more about Blake and that mission in Somalia.

Christopher LaSalle:
King, you know how SEALS don't like anyone poking in their business. Especially NCIS.

Dwayne Pride:
I'll use my gentle face.

Sebastian Lund:
Ballistic fingerprinting began when scientist Alexandre Lacassagne matched an individual bullet to the inside of a gun barrel. He realized that the imperfections inside made every gun unique and special. Not unlike the imperfections of a snowflake. [Softly, with a nostalgic look in his eye] Or a toddler with a large nose whose mother still loves him. [Brody and LaSalle exchange looks] Right. Moving on.

Dwayne Pride:
[With LaSalle and Brody, looking at Sebastian on the monitor who can't seem to stay still] You okay, kid?

Sebastian Lund:
No- [Loretta moves next to Sebastian]

Dr. Loretta Wade:
No, he's not. He's on a sugar overload.

Sebastian Lund:
[speaking very fast] Monosaccharide rush. Glucose glow. Fructose frenzy.

Dwayne Pride:
Be-cause... [drawn out]

Sebastian Lund:
Uh, well, I- [indicating Loretta] we wanted to figure out how the killer made his improvised silencer. And we did. [singing] We did! [Gives Loretta a high five]

Dr. Loretta Wade:
[sighing] Sebastian.

Sebastian Lund:
Uh heh. [holds up a gun] This is a gun. [holds up a bottle] This is orange haze soda. [pointing to the bottle with the gun] You take 3 empty bottles, cut two of 'em up and stick 'em inside the third, then stuff it with styrofoam or cotton. Bam!

Dr. Loretta Wade:
[takes the gun and bottle from Sebastian] Okay, time. [Sebastian wanders away] Only there is no bam. This contraption cancels most of the noise from the gun.

Christopher LaSalle:
And that's why Natalie didn't hear the shot.

Meredith Brody:
How do we know it's orange haze?

Dr. Loretta Wade:
I found residue on the plastic fragments from Petty Officer Blake's chest wound. [Sebastian wanders back into view on the monitor, guzzling a bottle of orange haze] And Sebastian [Still drinking, Sebastian gives a thumbs up] matched the residue with the formula that makes the drink.

Sebastian Lund:
I also downed, like 3 liters of it. I have to pee.

Christopher LaSalle:
Sky diving sounds fun. But, sky crashing? Not so much.

Christopher LaSalle:
I know you didn't fly all the way down here just to give us an address.

CGIS Agent Abigail Borin:
No. I flew all the way back down here because we've been waiting for Dominic to screw up so we can get our hands on him.

Dwayne Pride:
Our case. Our hands. You just watch.

CGIS Agent Abigail Borin:
I like to watch.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
In my opinion, she was poisoned.

Dwayne Pride:
So this "plane crash"...

Dr. Loretta Wade:
Just became a murder investigation.

Sonja Percy:
You want to know who led the Pelicans in assists last year? Tyreke Evans. You want to talk micro brews? DBA on Frenchman has a solid 20 taps. And if the conversation moves to supermodels I'm a Kate Upton girl. 'Cause I appreciate curves.

Christopher LaSalle:
Do you, now?

Sonja Percy:
You know, I would totally ace boys' night.

Christopher LaSalle:
I'll make sure and spread the word.

Wife:
How long have you guys been trying?

Dwayne Pride:
As an agent, I cannot condone what you did today... As a father... Come on, I've got some coffee going.

Sebastian Lund:
[At the scene of the jet crash in full body protective coveralls] Because Lt. Garrett and Franco both presented damaged lung tissue, I knew that the mercury poisoning had to be the result of inhalation. But, my test of the oxygen system aboard the Skystormer came up empty handed.

Lead NSC Representative Dave Schram:
You know he doesn't need to be wearing that suit, right?

Sebastian Lund:
If there's a chance for me to dress up like Doc Brown from Back to the Future, I'm just... I'm gonna take it.

Dwayne Pride:
[Investigating the death of a naval officer in what appears to be a road rage incident] Good morning, Loretta.

Dr. Loretta Wade:
No matter how quiet and gentle a soul, you get 'em behind the wheel and suddenly they revert to the most base and primal.

Dwayne Pride:
I know. I've driven with ya.

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
Bio track is the purest fusion of biology and electronics. There's a whole branch of tech devoted to craziness just like this. It's all the rage with guys like me.

Christopher LaSalle:
Hackers like you.

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
Investigative computer specialists. Too legit to quit.

Dwayne Pride:
How you doing with Wilson's computer?

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
Oh, I'm into it. I'll tell you what. This puppy is buttoned up tighter than a... very... tightly... buttoned up puppy.

[pause]

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
Okay, I got lost in the middle of that one.

Sebastian Lund:
Afternoon... friends.

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
Mr. Lund.

Sebastian Lund:
Mr. Plame.

Investigative Computer Specialist Patton Plame:
How's my favorite conspiracy theorist doing?

Sebastian Lund:
I prefer the term creative realist.