October Road

Ronnie:
I'm in love with you, Aubrey. I've been in love with you ever since Nick brought you home on taco Tuesday on that Wednesday. And I know it's weird because he's my brother and you guys are dating, but since he's leaving I have to tell you that. I love that when you talk you flap your hands, or sometimes you use big words that make no sense to me. And I love that no matter what room you're in, the light attaches itself to you. And most of all, I love the way that I feel when I'm near you.

Hannah Daniels:
Sometimes it takes him ten years. Or ten hours or ten minutes, but Nick always does the right thing. He always did. He always will. You just have to have a little faith.

[last lines]

Stratton Lorb:
Knights Ridge, baby! Ain't that America!

The Commander:
Life isn't then. Life isn't when. Life is this. Here. Now.

The Commander:
When you were a little boy I warned you never to speak to strangers, never knowing that years later I'd qualify as one.

Jody Watson:
We're both single, no one will find you particularly attractive, and I can tell you find me a little unpleasant, but it's a lovely night, there's rain in the forecast, and I've got a great bottle of absinth back at my nest. So why don't you come over and we'll get alcoholized and bend our backs in bed?

[after Janet had accidentally given him a wolf for Christmas]

Eddie Latekka:
I was gonna get you a leopard, but they were fresh out.

Eddie Latekka:
Whoa! [At seeing Phil naked]

Nick Garrett:
What's... goin' on Phil?

Physical Phil:
Hey Guys! Just cataloging my CDs.

Nick Garrett:
Yeah, that's not what I'm talkin' about.

Physical Phil:
Oh, Pizza Girl had to sketch a nude for her drawing class. I was her model. And then, when we were done, it occurred to me, I wasn't really in the need to put my clothes back on.

Eddie Latekka:
Why not?

Physical Phil:
Oh, because sometimes I feel trapped in here. But without my clothes... [takes a step closer to the boys and they grow uncomfortable]

Eddie Latekka:
Whoa, okay, so... you're just gonna be *naked* from now on?

Physical Phil:
Not naked. Nude!

Eddie Latekka:
Right.

Physical Phil:
Naked implies, embarrassment and vulnerability, exposure...

Nick Garrett:
Yeah.

Physical Phil:
...Nude, does not. Nude implies 'the sun on my bum', the air on my snookle. Nude implies, *free*!

Eddie Latekka:
[Pointing in opposite direction] I'm going over here.

Nick Garrett:
I'll go with you.

Physical Phil:
[Sees Eddie sitting naked on the couch] Whoa! Okay. What're you doing?

Eddie Latekka:
Savouring every last bit of this hot peppers and steak.

Physical Phil:
I mean why aren't you wearing any clothes?

Eddie Latekka:
Well, you made such a fuss about the virtues of being set free I figured I'd give it a try. And you know what? It is *really* liberating! I may never wear clothes again either.

Physical Phil:
But you can't... if, if I'm... Fine. Done. My days of nudism are over.

Eddie Latekka:
What? Why?

Physical Phil:
Aw, c'mon Eddie. We can't live like this. One guy naked it's charming, it's quirky! But two guys, it's... It's not something I'm comfortable with. [Walks away with a towel around his waist]

Eddie Latekka:
[Triumphantly] I said it before and I'll say it again; Pizza Girl ain't the only one who delivers.

Eddie Latekka:
Hey Janet, can I get a beer?

Janet The Planet Meadows:
You know this whole you and me going to the homecoming game? It's a bad idea. It's not going to work. Cause here's the thing. I'm not taxes. I'm not the dentist. I'm not something you get out of the way.

Eddie Latekka:
What?

Janet The Planet Meadows:
I'm also not like the other girls you've been with. I'm not a cute cashier. I don't know how to make waffle cones. I'm not another stop along the Eddie Latekka conquest trail... I'm not perky like Susan. I don't know how to bat my eyes like Lottie and I definitely don't have double D cups like...

[Eddie kisses her]

Eddie Latekka:
You know what? You're not like the other girls I usually date. You're smart and funny and beautiful inside and out. And you're absolutely NOTHING like taxes.

[Janet laughs a little, Eddie smiles and looks at her]

Eddie Latekka:
Excuse me.

[Eddie kisses her again]

Nick Garrett:
I need a vacation from girls. A girl vacation. You know what a girl vacation is, Dad?

The Commander:
Prison?

Nick Garrett:
No. It's spending some time with me. Just me. I need to spend some quality time with me.

Bennett Goldman(Editor):
Dufresne College called. They wanna know if you'd be interested in teaching a one-day intensive on the art of the novel.

Nick Garrett:
Not so much. Dufresne College - -that's in my hometown. I haven't been back there in 10 years. There's some people there that might not be so happy to see me.

Bennett Goldman(Editor):
Maybe that's why you're blocked. Go back there. Make peace with it all. You've got to get past your fears, kiddo. G. Gordon Liddy was afraid of rats, so he cooked one up and ate it. Fear gone.

Nick Garrett:
If you're suggesting that I cook and eat my old friends, I can assure you, in their opinion, I already have.

Sam Daniels:
That house is haunted. You ever seen to To Kill a Mockingbird? You know that guy Boo Radley, in that house is Boo Radley Senior & Boo Radley Junior.

Nick Garrett:
I know. I grew up there.

Hannah Daniels:
You've been gone how long now?

Nick Garrett:
Ten years.

Hannah Daniels:
Right. I think it was two weeks before my 18th birthday that you left. Yes, I'm quite sure because I remember getting those roses, thinking they were for my birthday, but they weren't. They were a goodbye present as in, goodbye I'm no longer in your present.

Nick Garrett:
I can explain.

Hannah Daniels:
It's not necessary.

Nick Garrett:
Hannah-...

Hannah Daniels:
Truly, don't sweat it. I should go. Um... are you, are you staying long?

Nick Garrett:
Leave Sunday.

Nick Garrett:
How old is Sam?

Hannah Daniels:
He turns 10 in two months.

Nick Garrett:
Ten...

Hannah Daniels:
Ten...

Hannah Daniels:
[Owen says good-bye to Sam and Sam goes to the door] Hannah: Umm... good-bye Nick. Good Luck. [She turns to leave but turns back around]

Hannah Daniels:
And don't worry, he's not yours.

Nick Garrett:
Hey! What are you doing, kid? Got a paper route?

Sam Daniels:
Yeah, mom thinks it's good for me. Crack of dawn, fresh air, current events. Character building stuff. What are you doing out this early?

Nick Garrett:
Same thing. Trying to build some character. Hey, let me ask you a question. What do you think about your mom's boyfriend?

Sam Daniels:
Big Cat?

Nick Garrett:
Yeah.

Sam Daniels:
He's OK, I guess. Although, sometimes, I think he's trying to murder me.

Nick Garrett:
Look, I really am sorry, Eddie. I never thought anyone would get torn up in the process, especially you. I left here that summer with every intention of coming back to the Ridge. Then on the last night of the trip... I'm literally packing my bags and... I remembered something mom told me before she died. She said "You gotta promise me, Nicky... never to settle for anything less than unexpected adventure." And I couldn't kick the feeling that if I came back here, I'd be have giving up on that. It's like once I stayed away... staying away became a way. Any of this make sense?

Eddie Latekka:
Hey Ikey! What do you even know about Janet? She may be the coolest person in this bar, but you'll never find out 'cuz you're too busy judging her on the outside, instead of finding out what's on the inside.

Ikey:
All right, maybe I should find out what's on the inside. My guess is cake. Lots of cake.

Ikey:
I got a bone to pick. I read your book 3 times. I still can't figure out which character is suppose to be me.

Nick Garrett:
That's 'cause there wasn't a character based on you.

Ikey:
Well now I'm really pissed!

Nick Garrett:
Ronnie didn't tell you I was coming home.

The Commander:
No, no. Long term effects of marijuana and video games have affected him in the short term.

Ikey:
Minus the last few months, we've been friends for almost 20 years. I know that because every time I look in the mirror and see my bent nose, it reminds me of how I met Owen Rowan's elbow on the playground, before I met the rest of him. I just moved to the Ridge. I didn't know Jack from Jill. I remember, he felt so bad afterwards, I was just some grimy kid with a wad of toilet paper up his nose but you introduced me to your friends - and that changed everything. I wasn't David Eichorn anymore. I was Ikey. That's how Owen introduced me to you guys. I was Ikey. And Ikey's all I've ever been. You guys are a part of me. Nick, remember these skid marks? Huh? Yeah, when you dared me to ride down North Hill Road on my bike during a storm. And this gimpy pinky finger huh, Phys? I got this from those home made fire crackers you told me were 100% safe. I got my man Eddie Latekka of course, to thank for my best pick up line. [Rolls up left sleeve and reveals a scar] I tell all the girlies I got this in Desert Storm from a bayonet when actually, you just nicked me with a hedge trimmer. I know, we've come a long way since that playground, Owen. You brought me into the fold back then. I'm hoping you'll let me back in now. I can't lose you guys anymore than I can lose my own skin. You're who I am! I'm Ikey because of you guys. And while maybe, Ikey ain't so much, he's a lot less when he ain't got you guys in his life.

Eddie Latekka:
Hey, I was thinking. Owen Rowan's having a birthday barbeque for his wife on Saturday. You want to come with?

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Really?

Eddie Latekka:
Why do you say that like I asked you to parachute into Nazi Germany at the height of World War II?

Janet Meadows:
We've been dating for a while now. A while! And we still haven't seen it... "On the Waterfront". So I was thinking we should hang out at my place tomorrow night, and we should most definitely watch "On the Waterfront". Because if we don't watch "On the Waterfront" we may run the risk of never watching it. *Ever.* Okay?

Eddie Latekka:
Pack a bag.

Janet Meadows:
What for?

Eddie Latekka:
We're going to Rhode Island. I got tickets for Bye Bye Birdie, Providence. Figured me and Gramps can get some naptime in.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?

Nick Garrett:
Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

Nick Garrett:
No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
Then let's talk about that journey.

Nick Garrett:
Let's talk about it.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.

Nick Garrett:
Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

Aubrey:
And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

Nick Garrett:
Going down in flames does seem to be the motif.

Aubrey:
What's the difference between self-pity and self-loathing?

Nick Garrett:
Well I'd answer you but I'm too busy feeling sorry for my vile existence.

Aubrey:
Awwh.

Nick Garrett:
Have you met this Dean Etwood?

Aubrey:
Oh, yeah yeah, what about her?

Nick Garrett:
Just that she's like Stalin, only without the dreamy compassion.

Eddie Latekka:
Hey, you got a second?

Aubrey:
Well not if the upshot is catastrophic injury.

Eddie Latekka:
Nah, it's nothing like that. I just wanna apologize for roughing up your friend. A few too many tequilas, misguided anger.

Aubrey:
Mhmm, yup, so you uh, you have a problem with Nick Garrett?

Eddie Latekka:
Garrett? No, uh, I went to high school with the guy but I hardly know him. And I haven't been here in years.

Aubrey:
It was occasioned by what?

Eddie Latekka:
Well, it was my desire to make things right by you, and uhm, to give you this. [Hands her a mix CD, that Physical Phil actually made]

Aubrey:
You made me a mix?

Eddie Latekka:
I made you a mix.

Aubrey:
I'm Aubrey.

Eddie Latekka:
Eddie.

Aubrey:
Interesting selections. Especially track 2. You know I'd have pegged you for more of a John Cougar Mellencamp guy than a John Cougar guy.

Eddie Latekka:
So, uh, maybe wanna hang out sometime, talk a little more evolution of Mellencamp, little pink houses and such? Tonight good?

Aubrey:
I'm meeting some friends at Sully's.

Eddie Latekka:
Maybe I stop by?

Aubrey:
Maybe you do.

Nick Garrett:
Hey. [Holds up a framed picture he just found in a box of his old things]

Ronnie:
You and Ma.

Nick Garrett:
Yeah.

Ronnie:
She'da got a kick outta all the fanciness you got going on.

Nick Garrett:
I don't know. I think she mighta been creased for me stayin' away ten years.

Ronnie:
But your back now. Where you belong. That's all that counts. It's how you close the game, not the score at half-time.

Nick Garrett:
[His old report card is illegible] Game over.

Ronnie:
Not true. I think we can do much better than handing in an ancient document. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always say, 'if you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig'.

Nick Garrett:
You always say that?

Ronnie:
Well I will from now on. 'If you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig.'

Nick Garrett:
Thank you for seeing me again.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
You said you were bringing pie.

Nick Garrett:
No I didn't.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
My assistant told me 'Nicholas Garrett called to say he'd like to come by again, but this time, he's bringing pie'. That's why I agreed. No pie?

Nick Garrett:
No pie.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
Then good day.

Nick Garrett:
Just, hear me out. Okay, I know how you feel about me, and I know that there's nothing that I can say to change your mind. But, how 'bout the words of a fellow teacher? [Directs his arms to the open doorway] I present Ms. Gertrude Weiner. 45 year veteran of the Massachusetts Educational System. And my tenth grade English teacher.

Mrs. Weiner:
How do you do? It's a pleasure. I um, I just want you to know that Nicholas is a wonderful young man. Watching him maneuver his way through semi-colons, I, I knew he would go far. You should think of what he can bring to the students.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
I am thinking of the students. That's why I'm not hiring Mr. Garrett. Because he's the very worst thing a teacher could be. A dilettante. Someone who does a job to suit his momentary needs. He reminds me of another man who came down to teach at a school in a parish of New Orleans. Only this man, he told the students that they could learn to sing. And so he sang to them, and the song was, uh, "Where Is Love" from the show "Oliver". But then this man, he left soon after, went back to his real life, leaving the students devastated. I remember that, because I was one of those children. And I remember the crushing sense of loss when that man left. So do not talk to me about the students Mrs. Weiner. Because everything I do, every fiber of my being is for these students.

Janet The Planet Meadows:
I've always said Eddie, as shady as it may be, you got to admire a guy who conjures up a talking raccoon to impress the ladies.

Eddie Latekka:
Yeah, I think maybe what I've got to work on is the type of ladies I'm trying to impress.

Eddie Latekka:
Maybe sometime you want to come out, meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Are you asking me out, Eddie?

Eddie Latekka:
I don't know. I guess. Just think about it.

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Tell you what. I'll think about it.

The Commander:
Hey! [takes a bb-gun away from Ronnie] Just because you are an idiot, it doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Aubrey:
And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

Nick Garrett:
Going down in flames does seem to be the motive.

Nick Garrett:
Game over.

Ronny:
Not true! I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said - "If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"

Nick Garrett:
You always say that?

Ronny:
Well, I will from now on.

Nick Garrett:
Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
Well, what an inspirational tale. But right now, Mr. Garrett, I'm going back to sleep.

Hannah Daniels:
[the Commander arrives with a cat he just picked up off the street at Knights Ridge Veterinary Care, only to come closer to Sam] This is yours, Mr. Garrett?

The Commander:
Yeah, that's right.

Hannah Daniels:
How old is this cat?

The Commander:
He's 7.

Hannah Daniels:
This cat is a female.

The Commander:
[smiles] Yeah.

Hannah Daniels:
And, um, what's her name?

The Commander:
[looks at a picture of a sunrise on the wall] Sunrise.

Hannah Daniels:
[notices he made up the name] And, um, what's wrong with Sunrise?

The Commander:
I don't know. He's just a little... sluggish.

Hannah Daniels:
She

The Commander:
She

Hannah Daniels:
Well I'll take a look at her.

The Commander:
Ok that's great well I guess I'll be going now. [leaves the office]

Sam Daniels:
Mom why did he bring in Buster?

Hannah Daniels:
I don't know [turns to look at a confused coworker] This is our cat.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

Nick Garrett:
No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
Then let's talk about that journey.

Nick Garrett:
Let's talk about it.

Dean Leslie Etwood:
The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

Hannah Daniels:
All I'm asking from you Nick is just please, please, please, PLEASE, just DON'T... UPSET... THE APPLECART!

Eddie Latekka:
Maybe sometime you wanna come on out and meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Are you asking me out, Eddie?

Eddie Latekka:
I dunno... I guess... just... just think about it.

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Tell you what, I'll think about it.

Hannah Daniels:
The whole time I was yelling at him, all I wanted to do was just kiss him.

Ray Big Cat Cataldo:
You know what really buckles me Hannah? Is that I remember the day that my toothbrush took up permanent residency in your medicine chest 'cause you were so damn happy. You welcomed that toothbrush with open arms and now it's like all you want to do is serve it with an eviction notice, and my toothbrush and I just want to know why.

Physical Phil:
Are you gonna be done soon? Because Will Flitzer's about to start.

Eddie Latteka:
I'll do my own dishes.

Physical Phil:
Right, when you get home from work tonight, if I'm lucky? More like six days from now when a nice crust has formed.

Eddie Latteka:
If it's that important to you to do my dishes, do them after your program.

Physical Phil:
And then when am I supposed to read the paper?

Eddie Latteka:
Read the paper after the dishes.

Physical Phil:
You have no concept of other people, do you? It's like everyone's supposed to be on your schedule.

Eddie Latteka:
You don't leave the house. How is it you're the busiest guy I know?

Sam Daniels:
Do you have a girlfriend?

Nick Garrett:
[pauses] We're just gonna keep the focus on you, okay?

Owen Rowan:
Pizza Girl's hot.

Physical Phil:
Yeah, she's nice.

Owen Rowan:
I didn't say nice. I said hot.

Eddie Latteka:
And... she likes you!

Physical Phil:
No, she doesn't.

Eddie Latteka:
Yes, you reclusive moron, she does!

Janet The Planet Meadows:
So, how do you feel about Nick moving back to town?

Eddie Latteka:
It's a free country. People are allowed to move where they want.

Janet The Planet Meadows:
[Laughs] That's very generous of you. Let's try again. How do you feel about it?

Eddie Latteka:
I'm sore at the guy.

Janet The Planet Meadows:
Was it the book?

Eddie Latteka:
Never even read it. It's the movie... Remember that scene when Freddie Vanetta gets so drunk he hits the car? So afraid of getting in trouble he just takes off? That never happened! ... Yeah, I hit the car, but I stayed. I face the consequences, I don't take off.

Nick Garrett:
Alright, phase one. First things first. You got to get her interest.

Sam Daniels:
But I don't play soccer.

Nick Garrett:
You don't get her interest by doing things she likes, that just makes you seem desperate.

Sam Daniels:
Do you have a girlfriend?

Nick Garrett:
We're just going to keep the focus on you, 'kay?

Physical Phil:
You have no concept of other people, do you? I mean, it's like everyone is supposed to be on your schedule.

Eddie Latekka:
You don't leave the house! How is it that you're the busiest guy I know?