Sheep in the Big City

Farmer John:
Well, I guess I should stop saying blah over and over again.

Ranting Swede:
I'll tell you one thing that really clips my begonias... Coffee Tables! Is every beverage in the world going to want its own table now? Oh, here's the coffee table, here's the tea table, oh, watch out! Here's the lemon-flavored seltzer water table. Where's it all going to end? I drink both root beer and diet root beer. There'll be no place in my house for my shoes! And another thing, if they can put a man on the moon, why can't they leave him there?

[repeated line]

General Specific:
Hey, mad scientist...

Angry Scientist:
Angry! Angry scientist!

[Sheep is watching a soap opera]

Dirk:
Sandra!

Sandra:
How dare you return, Dirk. You know I only have... one life to live!

Dirk:
Sandra, how can you be so cruel, knowing that I have only... one life to live!

Sandra:
Oh, *you* only have... one life to live! How many lives do you think I have... to live?

Dirk:
One?

Sandra:
Marry me, Dirk!

[they kiss]

Dirk:
I would, Sandra, if only I had... another life to live. But as it stands I have only... one li-

[Sheep changes the channel]

Store Salesman:
Come on down, where our prices are insane. And I really mean insane! How much would you expect to pay for this battery? A couple of bucks, right? Well, here it's thirty-two thousand dollars! Not including tax! This piece of wire? A million-five! This gigantic elephant? Fifteen cents!

Ben Plotz:
The farm! The Idyllic home of Farmer John - a man who loves farming so much his first name is "Farmer".

Farmer John:
Hands off my Sheepie!

General Specific:
Dagnabbit, man! This is a matter of national security! I must have that sheep! I'm in charge of a top secret agency, you know.

Farmer John:
Really? Which one?

General Specific:
I can't tell you. It's a secret.

Farmer John:
I won't tell.

General Specific:
But if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret!

Farmer John:
Well, if you won't tell, then I'll take my sheep and go home.

General Specific:
Ooh! I wouldn't do that if I were you! If you don't give me that sheep, my soldiers will return and destroy your farm! Destroy it! [laughs evilly]