Sol Goode 
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Chloe: Why can't I find a guy who isn't romantically retarded?
Unemployment Clerk: Sol Goode?
Sol Goode: Get to know me.
Unemployment Clerk: You come up with that all by yourself?
Unemployment Clerk: I'm afraid its not all good, Sol Goode.
Murphy: You fucked my sister, Nicole the Hole.
Sol Goode: P.O.D. Post Orgasmic Disgust. Hit happens to the best of us.
Cooper: I got such a bangover.
Cooper: I get more ass than a toilet seat at the Lilith Fair.
Treasure: Has anyone ever told you you look like Brad Pitt?
Cooper: No. They haven't.
Treasure: Good, because you don't.
Justin Sax: Here is to your... fucking... face.