Star vs. the Forces of Evil

Star Butterfly:
Nooooo! I can be good. Please! Don't send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!

King Butterfly:
Sweetheart, we're not sending you there.

Star Butterfly:
Oh!

Queen Butterfly:
...Yet.

Principal Skeeves:
So you say you're from another dimension. [the office lights flicker on and off. The king, queen, and principal look to Star, who's toying with the light switch]

Star Butterfly:
And you said there was no magic on Earth.

Principal Skeeves:
Yeah... This isn't gonna work. [King Butterfly presents a chest of riches, and dollar signs appear in Skeeves' eyes] She is gonna love it here!

Marco Diaz:
I don't know where people get the idea I'm so safe! Oh, watch your step. Loose tile. It's ridiculous! [closes an open locker] Careful. You wear a helmet in the gym shower one time, and you're labeled for life! Oop. Broken glass. Frankly, I like taking risks and would welcome a little danger in my life. [Star uses her magic wand to turn a butterfly into a screeching monster. It picks up a nearby student and flies away as the student screams in terror] What the heck was that?

Star Butterfly:
Oops. Heh. I thought you wanted a little danger.

Marco Diaz:
[looks at Star suspiciously] Who are you?

Star Butterfly:
I'm a magical princess from another dimension! [Star makes a rainbow with her wand, and several cute creatures appear around her. The rainbow suddenly bursts into flames, and the cute creatures run away. Marco looks stunned]

Marco Diaz:
Well, that brings us to the end of our tour. I'm going home now.

Star Butterfly:
Bye, new friend! See you tomorrow! Bye! Bye, new friend! See you later! [Marco lifts his hood over his head and runs away]

Star Butterfly:
What? I had no idea these were your parents! I just assumed everyone on Earth had the last name "Diaz"!

Star Butterfly:
I'm sorry, Marco. Uh... How about a little sunshine to brighten your day? [Star creates a small sun over Marco's head. It immediately turns into a raincloud, drenching him in water] Aw...

Marco Diaz:
I can't take this anymore! If you're moving in, I am moving out! [Marco moves toward the open window and slips outside]

Star Butterfly:
Are you okay?

Marco Diaz:
Luckily, the cactuses broke my fall.

Star Butterfly:
Do you need any help?

Marco Diaz:
Ow! I'm fine! Just leave me alone! [walks off]

Star Butterfly:
[whimpers] Hmm... [whimpers] Hmm... Uh... Ah. [walks away from the window, rushes back to the window] [whimpers]

Star Butterfly:
I didn't get a choice about coming here to Earth, and you didn't get a choice about having to deal with me. [Marco's angry expression softens] I'll... I'll find another family to live with.

Ludo:
Star Butterfly! At last, I've found you!

Star Butterfly:
Ludo! How did you know I was here?

Ludo:
[chuckling] Wouldn't you like to know?

Star Butterfly:
Yes. That's why I asked.

Ludo:
Well, Buff Frog- Hey! I don't have to tell you anything! Get her!

Star Butterfly:
[laughing] You can fight?

Marco Diaz:
It's called... karate!

Star Butterfly:
Rainbow Fist Punch!

Star Butterfly:
Jellybean Hallucination Mist!

Star Butterfly:
Mega... Narwhal Blast!

Marco Diaz:
All right, Star... feast your eyes on this!

Star Butterfly:
[singing] Marco's Super Awesome Nachos! [picks a nacho] Triangle food!

Star Butterfly:
Whoo! Now... just you two! A souvenir from the night my besties became besties. Yay. [leaves the booth]

Pony Head:
[glares at Marco] Listen. We are not gonna be besties. We are not even gonna be second-besties. [the booth takes a photo of Marco and Pony Head smiling, and a caption reads "Super Kawaii"]

Marco Diaz:
"Second-besties"? That's not even a thing!

Pony Head:
Ohhhh! You wanna make this a thing? [the booth takes another photo of Marco and Pony Head smiling, and captions read "LETS ENJOY", "HAY GURL!", and "PARTY LIFE"] Look here, Earth Turd. This night is really important to me. You mess that up, and you're gonna get the horn! [Pony Head points her unicorn horn at Marco's neck. The booth takes another photo of Marco and Pony Head, and captions read "WE ARE COOL!" and "#1"] Got it? Good. Real good. Later! [Pony Head exits the booth, leaving a frightened and shuddering Marco. The booth takes a photo of Marco's frightened face, and a caption reads "OH NO SHE DINT!"]

Marco Diaz:
Star, Pony Head threatened to-! [Pony Head shoves Marco aside, and he hangs over the edge of the cloud. He screams]

Joust Joust Revolution Announcer:
Fall, fall, fall, fall...

Marco Diaz:
Holy pixels! So many video games!

Pony Head:
Yes, I knew you would like it here. This place is full of squares.

Pony Head:
You're going down, downer!

Marco Diaz:
Oh, yeah? Well, your mother's a horse!

Pony Head:
Uh, okay, and your point would be?

Star Butterfly:
Aw, look at you two getting along.

Additional Voices:
For the last time... where is she?

Marco Diaz:
[crying] I'm telling you! I don't know!

Additional Voices:
Not talking, eh? What if I do... this? [flickers lamp on and off]

Marco Diaz:
Stop! That's really annoying!

Joust Joust Revolution Announcer:
Pony Head VS Earth Turd!

Marco Diaz:
Hey!

Pony Head:
I heard you're looking to ride with a pony! So come and get me!

Star Butterfly:
Shiny Emerald Snake Strike!

Marco Diaz:
Don't worry, Pony Head! We've got your back!... Or your head.

Pony Head:
Uh, heh, funny story. You're gonna love it... I kinda ditched him and left him in the other dimension. Oops. [chuckling]

Star Butterfly:
What?

Pony Head:
B-Fly!

Star Butterfly:
How could you do that to my best friend?

Pony Head:
Best friend? Last time I checked, the best friend was me!

Star Butterfly:
I can have two best friends. Unless one of them is a friend-ditching liar.

Pony Head:
That Earth Turd means that much to you?

Star Butterfly:
He's the best turd I've ever known.

Pony Head:
[sighs] Okay.

King Pony Head:
Kids... You have 'em, and then you... wish they weren't around.