Hoop:
Stroker, didn't you learn anything about the spirit of Christmas? Now I want you to go grab your son, go buy the biggest goose in town.
Stroker:
Where the hell am I supposed to find a goose?
Hoop:
Good question. [Pan across a turkey farm]
Narrator:
And that, my friends, is the story of how Stroker saved Christmas. Now, it took old Stroker a few years to get over losing the lottery, and then figure out this was a happy ending. But that's the funny thing about happy endings. They're not about getting richer.
[We finally find out who the narrator is:
a talking turkey]
Narrator:
They're about growing older, and getting to share another year with the ones you love.
[a man approaches and grabs the poor turkey around the neck]
Narrator:
Wait! What the hell? No! No, I want to live! Dear God! Please, don't kill me!
[He is dragged offscreen]
Narrator:
Nooooo!
[He is killed by the farmer, likely to end up Stroker and Hoop's Christmas dinner]
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