Daisy Fisher:
It's lucky for you that I only learned how to write, not read.

Daisy Fisher:
You stye on the eye of a flea on a thigh of a nit on the neck of a gnat!

Jim Fallon:
Stop thinking so hard, Frenchie. You're liable to get yourself a bad headache.

Alicia Chadwick:
Men have been known to change.

Walter 'Yukon' Burns:
Oh, lady, even I have been given up by women reformers! The biggest mistake a woman can make is to pick the wrong man and try to make him right.

Elder Bixby:
Violence is not our creed.

Walter 'Yukon' Burns:
Yeah, I know. And I believe in turning the other cheek... but you just run out of cheeks. It's time to start growing some religious muscle.

Judge Crenshaw:
Mr. Burns, I've heard you were an honest man and good with a gun. But I also heard you confessed to weakness for liquor, cards and women.

Walter 'Yukon' Burns:
Not women, your Honor. They ain't for the weak.