The Shari Show

Lambchop:
Wait a second! Hold it, hold it! How do I look?

Shari:
Oh, you look adorable, Lambchop.

Lambchop:
No, I mean, how do I look - happy, sad, excited, delighted...?

Lionel:
None of the first, some of the second, a little of the third and not too much of the fourth. Roll the music and cue the astronaut.

[the control booth is in a panic when they learn that the lead actor for their live television program has been stricken with laryngitis]

Shari:
We sound more like a soap opera than they do!

Honeychild:
Hi, y'all. Today, we're going to make zebra sandwiches.

Shari:
Zebra?

Honeychild:
Now as you all know, a zebra is a horse that gets up in the morning and just won't take off his pajamas.

Shari:
Zebra!

Honeychild:
I'll tell you a secret. We're not using real zebra.

Shari:
Thank goodness!

Honeychild:
No, silly. No, these are made from cream cheese and pumpernickle bread. I adore pumpernickle because it's tasty, nutrious and it doesn't show the dirt.

[Honeychild's image is upside down on Mr. Bearly's TV screen]

Shari:
Why is she upside down?

Shari:
Maybe she's making an apple turnover.

Mr. Bearly:
Maybe it's the set. Hey!

[the television screen is now split between two pictures of Honeychild]

Shari:
That's not your set.

Mr. Bearly:
How do you explain it?

Shari:
Ah, maybe she's making split pea soup.

Mr. Bearly:
I love your sense of humor - witty, subtle and yet it has that certain something that keeps it from being funny.

Mr. Bearly:
Romeo and Juliet? You talk about coincidence. I did that play in college.

Shari:
You're kidding! What part did you play?

Mr. Bearly:
Both parts.

Shari:
B-Both parts?

Mr. Bearly:
Yeah - it was a very small college.