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Steel Magnolias Quotes (1989)
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Famous Steel Magnolias Quotations
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Based on Robert Harling's play, this comedy-drama directed by Herbert Ross (The Turning Point) follows several years in the lives of women who regularly see one another at a beauty shop in their small Louisiana town. The story deepens as Julia Roberts, playing a serious diabetic and the daughter of Sally Field, goes downhill in her health. But as an ensemble piece, this is one of those enjoyably lumpy tearjerkers with many years' worth of stored truths suddenly being shared between the characters, lots of grievances aired, that sort of thing. Daryl Hannah and Shirley MacLaine assume the most eccentric roles, Dolly Parton the most fun, and Olympia Dukakis the most dignified, while Sally Field essentially provides the moral and emotional center of the movie. --Tom Keogh
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- Annelle: I think we should pray.
Sammy: I'd rather eat dirt! »
- Annelle: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair. »
- Annelle: That is one ugly dog. What kind of dog is that?
Clairee: If it had hair, it'd be a Saint Bernard. »
- Annelle: We are in the house of the Lord!
Clairee Belcher: A lot she cares. Ousier's never done a religious thing in her life.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Now that is not true. When I was in school, a bunch of my friends and I would dress up as nuns and go bar-hoppin'. »
- Annelle: We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant! »
- Clairee Belcher: All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve. »
- Clairee Belcher: I love ya more than my luggage. »
- Clairee Belcher: Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket. »
- Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on. »
- Clairee Belcher: Ouiser, I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer. »
- Clairee Belcher: That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. »
- Clairee Belcher: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get. »
- Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. »
- Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes. »
- Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me! »
- Clairee Belcher: You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time.
Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself. »
- Clairee: And I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week...
Ouiser Boudreaux: There. My secrets out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz! »
- Clairee: I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head. »
- Clairee: Ouiser, you sound almost chipper what happened today you run over a small child or something? »
- Drum: Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?
Drum: Aww, thanks Ouiser. Nothin' like a good piece of ass. »
- M'Lynn: Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a loaded gun at a lady!
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it! »
- M'Lynn: Shelby, the boys bought the car around.
Shelby: What did they do to it?
M'Lynn: Well, let me put it this way... If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set! »
- M'Lynn: That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Clairee, this is just a gesture. We're not feedin' Drum until the end of time.
Clairee Belcher: Drum loves pork and beans. Eats 'em with everything.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Well, that explains a lot. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Drum, eat shit and die. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: I am just about at the end of my rope with you.
Drum: Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it 'round your head? »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not as sweet as I used to be. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years! »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years! »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: My God, you look different. Have you shrunk? »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Yes, Annelle, I pray! Well, I do! There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied.
Annelle: I suspected this all along!
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what! They'd probably make me eat a live chicken!
Annelle: Not on your first visit!
Clairee Belcher: Very good, Annelle! You've spoken like a true smart-ass! »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: You are a pig from hell. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: You are evil, and you must be destroyed.
Clairee Belcher: Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could. »
- Ouiser Boudreaux: You are too twisted for color TV! »
- Sammy: Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sake!
Annelle: Who?
Sammy: Christ.
Annelle: Who did you say?
Sammy: Christ, Christ, Christ!
Annelle: Is that our Lord whose name you're taking in vain?
Sammy: That's the one. »
- Shelby: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. »
- Shelby: Pink is my signature color. »
- Shelby: Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much.
Truvy: I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome. »
- Shelby: Well, we went skinny dipping and we did things that frightened the fish. »
- Truvy: I don't like her. I don't think it's natural for a woman to do her own hair. »
- Truvy: I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence. »
- Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.
Clairee: She can't be more than eighteen. She hasn't had time to have a past.
Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past. »
- Truvy: I'm just screamin' at my husband; I can do that any time! »
- Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight. »
- Truvy: Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. »
- Truvy: Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say is all her tattoos are spelled correctly. »
- Truvy: Oh, honey, God don't care which church you go, long as you show up! »
- Truvy: Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. »
- Truvy: Smile! It increases your face value. »
- Truvy: There is no such thing as natural beauty. »
- Truvy: There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money. »
- Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face. »
- Truvy: Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them sice I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right. »
- Truvy: When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor. »
- Truvy: You are playin' hard to get!
Clairee Belcher: At her age, she should be playin' beat the clock. »
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