Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour
Rating: R (Restricted)
Runtime: 98 minutes
This sensational, extremely influential, 1974 low-budget horror movie directed by Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, Lifeforce, Salem's Lot), may be notorious for its title, but it's also a damn fine piece of moviemaking. And it's blood-curdling scary, too. Loosely based on the true crimes of Ed Gein (also a partial inspiration for Psycho), the original Jeffrey Dahmer, Texas Chainsaw Massacre follows a group of teenagers who pick up a hitchhiker and wind up in a backwoods horror chamber where they're held captive, tortured, chopped up, and impaled on meat hooks by a demented cannibalistic family, including a character known as Leatherface who maniacally wields one helluva chainsaw. The movie's powerful sense of dread is heightened by its grainy, semi-documentary style--but it also has a wicked sense of humor (and not that camp, self-referential variety that became so tiresome in subsequent horror films of the '70s, '80s, and '90s). OK, in case you couldn't tell, it's "not for everyone." But as a landmark in the development of the horror/slasher genre, it ranks with Psycho, Halloween, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. --Jim Emerson
I bet she's real unhappy, real sorry that you're getting fuckin' her blood all over your goddamn arm. You know, back when I was a young patrolman, I used to love wrapping up these young honies.
Yeah, I bet you did.
Yeah, cop me a little bit of a feel every now and then, you know. Oh, look at that. She's kind of wet down there. What you boys been doing with this dead body anyway?
Can we please finish this?
The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of 5 youths. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them, an idyllic summer afternoon became a nightmare. For 30 years, the files collected dust in the cold-cases divison of the Travis County Police Department. Over 1,300 pieces of evidence were collected from the crime scene at the Hewitt residence. Yet none of the evidence was more compelling than the classified police footage of the crime-scene walk-through.
The events of that day were to lead to one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history - the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Yo, Kemp, can you do something about the A.C. back here? I'm melting.
No. But if you or Pepper get too hot, you could always take your clothes off.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
You are such a perv. Don't listen to him, Pepper.
Why not? I think he's funny.
She's only known you for 19 hours. I've lived with him for 3 years, and trust me, he is not funny.
How about giving me a hand here, asshole? You don't expect me to do this by myself? I need some help.
Why do I always get yanked into this shit? What am I doing?
Lift her up and just kind of pull her over your way there. She ain't gonna bite you. She's deader than a goddamn doornail. Get a-hold of her and pick her up.
What are we gonna do?
I don't know... uh... we gotta call the cops, I guess.
Um, yeah, on a list of bad ideas, that one goes, way up there. Oh, police officers, please, as you inspect a crime scene, which is now our van, please, ignore the colorful pinata, filled with marijuana, in case you happen to come across it, because it played no part, you know, whatsoever in the demise of this unfortunate, young, woman.
Is that where she was sitting? Because the angle don't add up for me with the blood on that back window.
Maybe she was a bit more in the middle.
Well, maybe you ought to move a little more over to the middle.
What, are you afraid of a little blood? Get the fuck over there!
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"Texas Chainsaw Massacre Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2015. Web. 6 Mar. 2015. <http://www.quotes.net/movies/Texas Chainsaw Massacre>.