Charlie Muffin

Snare:
[seeing Charlie cleaning his leather-stained feet] What the hell do you think you're doing?

Charlie Muffin:
Washing my feet.

Snare:
Very biblical. Can you do miracles too?

Charlie Muffin:
Yes. I can come back from the dead out of burning Volkswagens.

Charlie Muffin:
The old sod owes me an apology.

Janet:
Sir Henry Cuthbertson, Bart.? No way. I know him, Charlie; he was my godfather long before he was your boss. He's a bastard.

Charlie Muffin:
So am I. Funny thing is that none of them realize it.

Sir Archibald Willoughby:
Well, I won't say be careful, Charlie; no damn sense in that. But remember the first rule.

Charlie Muffin:
Always secure an escape route.

Valery Kalenin:
[to Cuthbertson] You really were incredibly stupid, Sir Henry. Charlie Muffin was one of the few real operatives in your service; his capture of Berenkov was brilliant. Yet you set him up to be shot in Berlin, you vilify him when he comes home unscathed, you demote him. [smiles] How can you expect loyalty when you treat a man like that?

Sir Archibald Willoughby:
World keeping you busy, Charlie?

Charlie Muffin:
Well, I think I shall be busy soon enough, sir, yes.

Sir Archibald Willoughby:
Oh, I say, I hope to God he wasn't briefing you in here! Even panelled walls have ears, you know.

Charlie Muffin:
[referring to CIA Agent Braley] I want him there, and always within ten yards.

Braley:
Ten yards?

Charlie Muffin:
You see, at that range I'm classified as an expert shot.

Cuthbertson:
[to Ruttgers] My only misgiving is that we have to put our faith in two frightened men. [Ruttgers grunts in agreement]

Charlie Muffin:
[looking right at both Directors] Better two frightened men than two psychopaths.

Valery Kalenin:
[referring to Harrison's death] Why do people always run?

Charlie Muffin:
Lack of experience.

Cuthbertson:
[talking about Charlie's affair with Cuthbertson's secretary/goddaughter Janet] Rutting was always the favorite pastime of the working class.

Valery Kalenin:
[to Cuthbertson] Nothing is impossible when one has the information and the organization.

Valery Kalenin:
[to Cuthbertson and Ruttgers] You must both know that the Soviet Union does not allow its operatives, particularly one so highly regarded, to remain in captivity longer than is absolutely necessary.

[first lines]

Snare:
So Harrison goes first?

Charlie Muffin:
Don't you two have first names? Harrison and Snare, then? Christ, you were at school together!

Snare:
[they're watching the East-West Berlin crossing station from the East Berlin side] Looks quiet enough.

Charlie Muffin:
Don't be stupid. It's tighter than a duck's bum up there.

Kastanazy:
[to Kalenin] If I'd known you had time for relaxation, I'd have invited you to my office.

Kastanazy:
[to Kalenin] You got the right car. It just happens you got the wrong man.

Kastanazy:
If General Berenkov isn't received wih full honors in Moscow reasonably soon, the most stringent Inquiry will be held.

Valery Kalenin:
I appreciate that.

Kastanazy:
But do you appreciate who will be the star witness at that Inquiry? I certainly don't intend that it should be me.

Berenkov:
[to Charlie] You've got a feel about you... the feel of a loser.

Janet:
[referring to Charlie] Are you asking me to spy on him?

Cuthbertson:
Yes.

Janet:
[with a broad smile] Do I get expenses?

Cuthbertson:
[tight-lipped] You can charge for "reasonable entertainment".

Wilberforce:
[Charlie plans to travel to Moscow to meet with Kalenin] It'll take us more than a week to organize your cover.

Charlie Muffin:
*You* organized the cover for Snare and for Harrison. One's dead, the other's in Lubyanka.

Charlie Muffin:
[he's just learned Cox will be driving a decoy car] If we do have to change cars, look in the boot, will you?

Cox:
Why?

Charlie Muffin:
Because a guy's gone out to put a bomb in it.