Dark Ride

[first lines]

Colleen:
Looks like it's closed.

Samantha:
Don't be such a wimp. The guy's right there.

Samantha:
Look at that fire, Colleen. That's awesome! You're not looking! You are such a little girl, Colleen. You know that? I'm gonna start calling you Colleen Cry Baby. I knew I should've left you home, Colleen Cry Baby.

Jim:
Elizabeth, it's been a long time.

Liz:
Time was the only long thing you ever gave me, Big Daddy. And it's Liz.

Steve:
Jim tried to give an old guy a blowj*b.

Jim:
I bet she's either a psycho or a nympho.

Liz:
What is she doing out here all by herself?

Jim:
Whe's a homeless, psychotic nymphomaniac. Where's she gonna be, Park Avenue?

Jim:
I feel obliged to pick up this hot piece of ass. Call it my civic duty.

Cathy:
Call it your hard-on.

Jim:
He's a rent-a-cop. I'm surprised he doesn't ride a f***ing bicycle.

Jen:
Cathy, it could be fun.

Cathy:
That's right, Jen. It could also not be fun. See how that works?

Cathy:
Go ahead. The dark ride's waiting.

Jen:
Just think, I could have hitched a ride with a stalker.

Liz:
Do you see that?

Steve:
See What?

Liz:
There's someone... there's someone watching us through that window.

Bill:
You sure, Liz? You're pretty high.

Liz:
Nevermind...

Jim:
It was in all the newspapers.

Liz:
Wow, Jim, then it must be true!

Bill:
Newspapers take more liberty with the fact than E! True Hollywood Story.

Bill:
God, we do love our monsters in this country.

Steve:
Get f***ed, Cathy, and stay f***ed for a while.

Cathy:
I wouldn't call 3 minutes including foreplay "a while."

Jen:
I think we should let the children play their children games. 'Sides, we have some adult games to get to.

Jim:
Oh God, I love you.

Cathy:
Don't call it revenge. Think of as... time release justice.

Bill:
Well, Jim, turns out Norman Bates was wrong. Seems a boy's best friend isn't his mother; it's his older brother.

[last lines]

Bill:
Thanks for your help, Cathy.