Gaston Monescu:
It must be the most marvelous supper. We may not eat it, but it must be marvelous.

Lily Vautier:
You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were an American.

Gaston Monescu:
Thank you.

Lily Vautier:
Someone from another world, so entirely different. Oh, one gets so tired of one's own class--princes and counts and dukes and kings! Everybody talking shop. Always trying to sell you jewelry. Then I heard your name and found out you were just one of us.

Gaston Monescu:
Disappointed?

Lily Vautier:
No, proud. Very proud.

Lily Vautier:
I have a confession to make to you: Baron, you are a crook. You robbed the gentleman in 253, 5, 7 and 9. May I have the salt?

Gaston Monescu:
Please!

Lily Vautier:
Thank you.

Gaston Monescu:
The pepper too?

Lily Vautier:
Oh, no, thank you.

Gaston Monescu:
You're very welcome. Countess, believe me, before you left this room, I would have told you everything. And let me say this, with love in my heart: Countess, you are a thief. The wallet of the gentleman in 253, 5, 7 and 9 is in your possession. I knew it very well when you took it out of my pocket. In fact, you tickled me. But your embrace was so sweet.

Gaston Monescu:
Do you remember the man who walked into the Bank of Constantinople, and walked out with the Bank of Constantinople?

Gaston Monescu:
I love you. I loved you the minute I saw you. I'm mad about you, my little shoplifter... my sweet little pickpocket... my darling.

Mariette Colet:
No, no, Francois, I tell you, no. You see, Francois, marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together. But with you, Francois, I think it would be a mistake.

Gaston Monescu:
Madame Colet, if I were your father, which fortunately I am not, and you made any attempt to handle your own business affairs, I would give you a good spanking--in a business way, of course.

Mariette Colet:
What would you do if you were my secretary?

Gaston Monescu:
The same thing.

Mariette Colet:
You're hired.

Lily Vautier:
You see, mother is dead.

Mariette Colet:
Yes, that's the trouble with mothers. First you get to like them, and then they die.

Gaston Monescu:
Well, what did she want?

Lily Vautier:
You. And she's willing to pay as high as 50 francs.

Lily Vautier:
Darling, remember, you are Gaston Monescu. You are a crook. I want you as a crook. I love you as a crook. I worship you as a crook. Steal, swindle, rob. Oh, but don't become one of those useless, good-for-nothing gigolos.

Lily Vautier:
Well, I'll leave you alone with that lady. But if you behave like a gentleman, I'll break your neck.

Mariette Colet:
I have a confession to make to you: You like me. In fact, you're crazy about me.

François Filiba:
Tonsils! Positively tonsils!

Gaston Monescu:
I see. You have to be in the Social Register to keep out of jail. But when a man starts at the bottom and works his way up, a self-made crook, then you say, "Call the police! Put him behind bars! Lock him up!"

Gaston Monescu:
I came here to rob you, but unfortunately I fell in love with you.

Gaston Monescu:
It could have been marvelous.

Mariette Colet:
Divine.

Gaston Monescu:
Wonderful... But tomorrow morning, if you should wake out of your dreams and hear a knock, and the door opens, and there, instead of a maid with a breakfast tray, stands a policeman with a warrant, then you'll be glad you are alone.