Oscar Jaffe:
I close...

Oliver Webb:
Yeah, yeah, I know - you close the iron door on me!

Oliver Webb:
O.J., suppose - just hypothetically, of course - that you, Mr. Bromo, could get together again with Miss Seltzer.

Oscar Jaffe:
What do you know about talent? What do you know about the theatre? What do you know about genius? What do you know about anything, you... bookkeeper!

Oliver Webb:
Hello, Mrytle, put the wizard on the wire. He's in the sanctum.

Oscar Jaffe:
Now, before we begin I want you all to remember one thing. No matter what I may say... no matter what I may do on this stage during our work... I love you all.

Oscar Jaffe:
Get out of my theatre, you gray rat! And don't have that fat wife of yours come around again, pleading for you!

Oscar Jaffe:
No cooperation from anybody. Never mind. I'll carry through alone.

Oscar Jaffe:
You squalling litle amateur. On your feet! Get up! Take that hump out of your back. You're not demonstrating underwear anymore!

Lily Garland, aka Mildred Plotka:
Why do they keep hammering at me? Hammering and hammering...

Oscar Jaffe:
Go on, Owen... tell her I'm dying... and DON'T OVERACT!