Laura:
I AM the muffin.

Donna:
If I had a nickel for every cigarette your mom smoked, I'd be dead.

Jeffries:
It was a dream, we live inside a dream.

Desmond:
Remember Lil's wearin' a sour face.

Stanley:
What do you mean?

Desmond:
Her face had a sour look on it.

Stanley:
You know, Agent Desmond, I figure this whole office, furniture included, is worth twenty-seven thousand dollars.

Stanley:
Nine's really late. We're really early.

Jeffries:
Well now, I'm not gonna talk about Judy. In fact, we're not gonna talk about Judy at all, we're gonna keep her out of it.

Cooper:
Gordon?

Gordon:
I KNOW, COOP!

Jeffries:
Who do you think this is there?

Albert:
Suffered some bumps on the old noggin, hey, Phil?

Gordon:
WHAT THE HELL DID HE SAY THERE, ALBERT? THAT'S SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER! FOR GOD'S SAKES, JEFFRIES, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU'VE BEEN GONE DAMN NEAR TWO YEARS!

Jeffries:
The stories that I wanna tell you about...

Gordon:
HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE! ALBERT, CALL THE FRONT DESK!

Albert:
I've got the front desk now. He was never here.

Carl:
Goddamn, these people are confusing.

Cooper:
Lately I've been filled with the knowledge that the killer will strike again.

Albert:
Alright, let's test it for the record. Will the next victim be a man or a woman?

Cooper:
A woman.

Albert:
What color hair will she have?

Cooper:
Blonde.

Albert:
Tell me some other things about her.

Cooper:
She's young, she's in high school, she's sexually active, she's taking drugs, she's crying out for help.

Albert:
Well damn Cooper, that really narrows it down, you're talking about half the high school girls in America!

The Log Lady:
When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out. The tender boughs of innocence burn first, and the wind rises, and then all goodness is in jeopardy.

Donna:
D'ya think that if you were falling in space... that you'd slow down after a while, or go faster and faster?

Laura:
Faster and faster... until after a while you wouldn't FEEL anything; and then your body would just burst into FIRE. And the angel's wouldn't help you, 'cause they've all gone away...

Donna:
Where are the cookies?

Laura:
You mean Fred and Ginger?

Donna:
Dancing.

James:
You always hurt the ones you love.

Laura:
You mean the ones you pitty.

Donna:
Laura? Where are you going?

Laura:
No place, fast. And you're not coming.

Cooper:
Thank you Carl. Sorry to wake you.

Carl:
That's okay. I was having a bad dream anyway.

Annie Blackburn:
My name is Annie. I've been with Dale and Laura. The good Dale is in the lodge and can't leave. Write it in your diary.