Fast and Furious

Garda Sloane:
Come on, dear. You've got to get dressed.

Joel Sloane:
Dressed for what?

Garda Sloane:
Ah, well, you wouldn't want to get buried in that suit, would you?

Joel Sloane:
[Leaving] look, Darling, you order something. I'll be right back. I've got to see the manager. He distinctly promised me a room overlooking the ocean.

Garda Sloane:
But this one overlooks the ocean.

Joel Sloane:
But I don't like this ocean. [He leaves]

Garda Sloane:
[the Bellboy chuckles] What's funny?

Brash Bellboy:
Nothing... only the last place I worked was an insane asylum. I was hoping this'd be a little different.

Joel Sloane:
[In their crowded hotel suite] Darling, do you think a rumor I have leprosy would get some of our guests to leave?

Garda Sloane:
As far as I'm conccerned, it's more than a rumor.

Garda Sloane:
[Finding a tape measure that she suspects will be used on the beauty pageant candidates] And what were you going to measure with this, Mr. Sloane?

Joel Sloane:
High tide.

Chief Miller:
[as they discover a girl's body on the floor] Get a doctor quick!

Joel Sloane:
It'd have to be a very good doctor, Chief. This girl's dead.

Chief Miller:
[to Joel and Sam Travers] Well, you big town wise guys, I could lock you both up. You know that, don't yuh? And if either one of you interferes in this case again, I'll throw you in jail so far, it'll take a week to get beans to yuh! Now get out of here, both of you!

Mike Stevens:
[On the phone] I can't help it if Miss Los Angeles's bathing suit is too tight. Look at how Los Angeles has grown in the last few years!

Garda Sloane:
What's the matter?

Joel Sloane:
Come down here. Stick out your tongue.

Garda Sloane:
All of it? Oh, Doctor...

Joel Sloane:
Just as I thought.

Garda Sloane:
Don't you want to examine me? I have some very nice symptoms...

Garda Sloane:
Don't you ever find a middle-aged, unattractive suspect?

Joel Sloane:
They're just facts in a case to me, Garda. I don't see them as girls. A detective's first thought must be of his case.

Garda Sloane:
It's that second thought that worries me.

Garda Sloane:
Darling, do you think they'll go on with the pageant despite all this dreadful business?

Joel Sloane:
I hope so.

Garda Sloane:
You would, you and your tape measure.

Master of Ceremonies:
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's now my privilege to introduce, Miss Florabelle Higgins, Miss Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Garda Sloane:
She ought to be Miss Tulsa. She's built like an oil well.