Fat Pizza

Young Gandhi:
I'm going to shove a cow down your throat and make you sh*t beefburgers!

Ronnie McDoggle:
[involved in car accident] Look what you did to my McCar! You McF***ed it!

Pauly Falzoni:
[after kicking Ronnie McDoggle in the genitals] That's right in the McNuggets, mate!

Habib Halal:
[upon seeing a police road sign targeting Lebanese] I swear, man! These cops are always hassling us, man! Why? We're jus' like normal people, man! We do normal things, mate! We eat kebabs! We have weapons! What's wrong with these things?

Sleek the Elite:
To get the glamours, I make friends with their fat chick friends, 'cause glamours always have fat chick friends.

Sleek the Elite:
[referring to women] But Sleek gives 'em standards are too high. In other words, if you're over 50 kilo, you gotta go.

Habib Halal:
Give me their number, uleh! My standards start at 50 kilograms, alright? I'll give it to 'em!

Pauly Falzoni:
[about looking up a lady's skirt] I know I should not have been looking. But, man, it was like an eclipse of the sun. It's bad for you to look... but you must keep looking.

Habib Halal:
[calling out to Sleek the Elite talking to 2 women] I got a fat, uleh! A big fat!

Claudia Macpherson:
[on infomercial for fitness product] Hi! I'm Claudia Macpherson. Supermodel. And, this here is my new Abstiffy. If you try it for 1 second a day... you too will have abs like mine! Ah, huh. Well, probly not. But, let's give it a whirl anyway... shall we?

Davo Dinkum:
[on drugs] Hey Bobo! I'm back! Yougotanymorepizzasformetadelivertheboxeswiththehotcheeseandthehotfoodontop... smellsgood! Peopleloveit! I'mreadytogoBobo... Ican'thearyouoverthismusicmate! Boboyagotanymorepizzas?

Sleek the Elite:
Bobo. I gotta use the toilet, man.

Bobo Gigliotti:
[menacingly] Any paper you use, Sleek, you pay for it.

Sleek the Elite:
Yeah, I know. A dollar a sheet.

first bouncer:
[making up excuse to refuse entry] And, you're, d'... er... you're an Aussie!

Taliban customer:
[subtitles over Arabic based vocals] Last week I ordered a pizza, I said no bacon! You lied, it had heaps of bacon!

Bobo Gigliotti:
[pulling out and starting up chainsaw] Aaah! AAAH!

Taliban customer:
[subtitle over Arabic based vocals as he and his sidekicks flee] Back to the cave!

Habib Halal:
Don't wory about the Funculo Club, man! It's sh*t!

Phat Pizza employee:
[in store, rapping into microphone with heavy Indian accent and background tabla music] Okay. Come on. What's the word? The very special word? My favourite word. It's... p*ssy.

Pauly Falzoni:
[splitting up detention centre escapees after organizing breakout] Hey! Stop! Stop! Stop! Look, yous refugees stick out like dogs balls! We're gonna get caught! Go that way to Mecca! Go! And yous! There's money in them bushes! Money!

Pauly Falzoni:
[giving baby he's accidentally stolen to a wild animal] Dingo, take it back, mate.

Sleek the Elite:
[whilst caught having sex with female in nightclub toilet cubicle] Habib. How are ya, bro' ?

Habib Halal:
Go for it, Sleeky, uleh. Go for it.

Sleek the Elite:
Any hole's the go, Habib.

Habib Halal:
Give her one for me. Slam her.

Sleek the Elite:
Habib, f*** off, man, or you're gonna get wet.

Health Inspector:
I'd like you to explain how this possum got into the filter of your coffee machine.

Habib Halal:
[at a raging grunge pub] These people don't wash their hair! It stinks in here!

Dazza:
[at own wedding, to priest] Mate, can you make this marryin' sh*t any quicker? I gotta get down the pub.

Rocky:
[answering mobile cell phone whilst breaking into cars] Hello! Lebanese Rambo!

Sleek the Elite:
[answering mobile cell phone whilst on toilet] Lebanese lover.

Habib Halal:
[at wedding] Rocky. I didn't bring any rice, man. Whatta we gonna throw?

Rocky:
Habib. Don't worry about the rice. I got eccys, instead.

Habib Halal:
Eccys? My god. Weddings can be so expensive.

Priest:
And, do you, Lin Chow Bang, take Bobo to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Lin Chow Bang:
[chirpily] No speak English!

Ivan:
[dazed after slaughtering two backpackers] Jobs done, Pauly. Let's go.

Pauly Falzoni:
[cluelessly] But, what's all the blood, man?

Ivan:
Ah, kangaroo, mate.

Shazza:
[yelling in her wedding gown] You big fat wog!

Shazza:
[yelling at priest] We f***in' booked this church f***in' 3 weeks ago! And I know we f***in' did, because we booked when we found out I was f***in' pregnant, with our seventh f***in' kid!

Pauly Falzoni:
I need a couple o' bucks t' ...

Bobo Gigliotti:
No!

Pauly Falzoni:
Jus' give me two bucks.

Bobo Gigliotti:
No!

Pauly Falzoni:
50 cents.

Bobo Gigliotti:
No!

Pauly Falzoni:
Well, can I just get a drink from the fridge, like... ?

Bobo Gigliotti:
No!

Pauly Falzoni:
Can I use the toilet without paying?

Bobo Gigliotti:
No!

Bobo Gigliotti:
[pushing Health Inspector into pizza oven] Burn, burn, burn.

Health Inspector:
[mildly irritated] 200 demerit points. Golly gosh.

Bobo Gigliotti:
Burn!

Bobo Gigliotti:
[pushing Lachlan the apprentice chef into pizza oven] Bludger! Aaah!

Lachlan:
Bobo! I won't spend more than two minutes in the toilet again!

Bobo Gigliotti:
Aaah!

Lachlan:
Bobo!

Bobo Gigliotti:
[slamming pizza oven door shut] Bludger!

[repeated line]

Bobo Gigliotti:
[answers the telephone] Fat Pizza Pizzas. They're big and they're cheesy.