I think you're dehydrated.
No, I'm just the victim of a screwed-up nitrogen imbalance. Plus, I think I've contracted priapism.
It's a disease of a constant erection.
It's not funny, believe me! The girl of my dreams lives under my own roof, but she thinks I'm just a kid, a dumb jock, all of which is more or less true. I'm dying, Mr. Tanneran, just like that girl in the poem... only quicker, and with a hard-on.