Get Hard

[stands naked in his garden]

James King:
[sees his gardener staring at him] Buenos diaz, Cecil!

Darnell Lewis:
Let's see your mad dog face! [King bursts into tears]

Darnell Lewis:
What are you doing, James?

James King:
Sad Dog. I think that's a strategy that could work, don't sexually harass me I'm already sad...

[from trailer]

Rita Lewis:
What reason did you give to him, to assume you went to jail?

Darnell Lewis:
I was being black!

Rita Lewis:
You're not exactly a thug, Darnell!

Darnell Lewis:
All I got to do is talk a little deeper. "Hey, b*tch, don't walk away from me!"

Rita Lewis:
[slaps Darnell] What the hell did you just say to me? What is wrong with you?

Darnell Lewis:
[crying] Stop, stop! What is that?

[from trailer]

Darnell Lewis:
We do this, we do this hard!

James King:
I can get hard!

James King:
My life is ruined, because after thirty days I'm going to prison!... It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?

Darnell Lewis:
Hell yeah, it's bad!

James King:
Teach me how to survive in prison, the way you did!

Darnell Lewis:
[amazed] Tell me how you know I went to prison?

James King:
Given your low economic status, your perceived lack of college education... statistically, you definitely went to prison! [pause]

Darnell Lewis:
See you tomorrow, convict.

[prison yard training]

Darnell Lewis:
Go back to where you belong!

James King:
I don't know where I belong!

Darnell Lewis:
I know where you belong... you belong with me! [smiles at King]

James King:
[freaked out] I don't want that!

[from trailer]

Darnell Lewis:
This ain't no longer your house, man! We in San Quentin now!

Darnell Lewis:
When life throws you Dick you make Dick-ade!

James King:
Dick-ade doesn't sound like a significant improvement over dick.

Darnell Lewis:
You know what? I got something to say to you all since I'm guessing this is the first time you've been forced to listen to a black man. You know maybe you guys should just calm the f*** down. Black people ain't tryin' to hurt you. I mean technically I am right now but that's only because of what you were trying to do to the white guy. Think about that. Google "I Have A Dream" a**holes.

Martin:
I built this company with my two own hands. Just me, that computer and an eight million dollar loan from my father.

James King:
You really did it all on your own.

James King:
My real father never had time for me. He shipped me off to boarding school in London with the Murdochs and the Bin Ladens. Of course, that was before. I mean, we knew they cheated in soccer, but had no idea...

Darnell Lewis:
When you was at Harvard, did you ever get raped for failing a test?

James King:
I think that's more of a Yale thing.

James King:
I'm not trying to appropriate your culture.

Darnell Lewis:
That's great. I'll tell the others.