Half Shot Shooters

Moe:
Republican? Naw, I'm a Democrat.

Curly:
Not me, I'm a pedestrian!

Capt. Burke:
...wouldn't know a shell from a boat.

Larry:
What'd he say?

Moe:
He says you smell like a goat.

Larry:
Oh, yeah? Same to you!

Curly:
Oh, the first shell went in there. It goes round and a round, woah, woah and it goes out there.

Capt. Burke:
Where were you born?

Curly:
He says your pants are torn.

Moe:
I ain't got any on.

Larry:
Not worn, corn! Corn!

Curly:
Oh, I got two on both dogs!

Larry:
Pipe down! You're spoiling the whole war for me!

Moe:
What of it?

Larry:
Nothing. I was just saying.

Moe:
[after firing a cannon shell which destroys a building] I don't know where that one landed, but I hope it didn't hit the pool room.

Sgt. MacGillicuddy:
Now when I say go, duck your heads under that water and hold it.

Larry:
For how long?

Sgt. MacGillicuddy:
I'll tell you when to come up.

Moe:
[Finding the cannon site abandoned] Where's the sergeant and the gun crew?

Larry:
Maybe it's between halves.