Mrs. Weiner:
Dawn, you are not leaving this table until you tell your sister that you love her.

Dawn Weiner:
Ring Dings, Pop Tarts, whatever! I can make Jell-O.

Brandon:
Yo Weiner, you better get ready, 'cause at three o' clock today, I'm gonna RAPE you!

Ralphie:
You think you're hot shit, but you're really just cold diarrhea.

Dawn Weiner:
Oh, Steve, they're all so beautiful.

Steve:
I'm thinking of using this one on my first album cover.

Dawn Weiner:
You're gonna have a record?

Mark Weiner:
High school's better than junior high. They'll call you names, but not as much to your face.

Steve Rodgers:
Special people?

Dawn Weiner:
Yeah.

Steve Rodgers:
Do you know what "special people" means?

Dawn Weiner:
What?

Steve Rodgers:
Special people equals retarded. Your club is for retards.

Dawn Weiner:
I was fighting back.

Mrs. Weiner:
Who told you to fight back?

Dawn Weiner:
I don't mean to be a cunt.

Dawn Weiner:
Why do you hate me?

Mrs. Weiner:
Dawn, you do not leave this table until you tell your sister that you love her!

Dawn Weiner:
Do you think about girls?

Mark Weiner:
Are you kidding? I want to get into a good school.

Dawn Weiner:
But I don't want to go to Disney World.

Mark Weiner:
Don't be stupid. At least it'll look good on your college resume.

Mark Weiner:
High school's better than junior high. They'll call you names, but not as much.

Dawn Weiner:
Just because you're a faggot doesn't mean you're an asshole.

Brandon McCarthy:
Get off me! I'm the one that makes the first move.

Lolita:
You didn't come in here to wash your hands.

Dawn Weiner:
Y--yes I did.

Lolita:
You came in here to take a shit.

Dawn Weiner:
No, really. I don't have to go. My hands were just dirty, that's all.

Lolita:
Liar. I can smell you from here.