Xander Cage:
I wish I had a camera.

Yelena:
Why?

Xander Cage:
'Cause this is gonna be one hell of a trick.

Gibbons:
I want you to meet some people and find out whatever you can about them.

Xander Cage:
What kind of people?

Gibbons:
Dirty. Dangerous. Your kind of people.

Toby Lee Shavers:
So, how long have you been a secret agent?

Xander Cage:
Two days.

Toby Lee Shavers:
Man that sucks!

Xander Cage:
Yeah but it beats jail.

Toby Lee Shavers:
No I mean I spent 3 and half years in some windowless NSA room. I mean I got a degree. I got a degree from MIT. And I bet they picked you up pumping iron in San Quentin?

Xander Cage:
Have you ever been punched in the face for talking too much?

Gibbons:
I noticed that you have three X's on the back of your neck. That's appropriate, since your looking at three strikes.

Xander Cage:
The things I'm gonna do for my country.

Kolya:
Bitches, come!

Xander Cage:
Before you ask someone to save the world, you'd better make sure they like it the way it is.

Xander Cage:
Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow shit up!

Xander Cage:
You're in the Xander Zone.

Xander Cage:
Yeah, yeah. These monkeys are following me because I just took this car. Obviously the car doesn't belong to me, it's not my style, it belongs to Dick. Dick Hotchkiss, the California state senator. You remember Dick? He's the guy who tried to ban rap music because he feels that the lyrics promote violence. It's music, Dick! He's also the guy who wants to pull every video game off every shop in the country, because he feels that the video games diminishing intelligence of our youth. Come on, Dick... It's only education we got. Dick, you're a bad man. You know what we do to bad men? We punish 'em. Dick, you've just entered... The Xander zone.

Xander Cage:
Okay, I'm coming in hot with a pat of bacon.

Caddy Driver:
Go pick the cam. Go, go, go.

Xander Cage:
Moral is... Don't be a dick, Dick.

Xander Cage:
Nothing like fresh powder.

Toby Lee Shavers:
Knocked over a few Seven Elevens, have we?

Milan Sova:
First you set me up in the bar. Then you shoot me in the back.

Xander Cage:
My boss does it to me. I did it to you. It's a vicious circle.

Yelena:
Did you enjoy that?

Xander Cage:
Yes.

Yelena:
Good, because it will never happen again.

Xander Cage:
He also wants video games banned because he believes that they're destroying education... come on Dick, it's the only education we got.

Xander Cage:
I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.

Xander Cage:
I told him that cigarette would kill him one of these days.

Xander Cage:
Okay, I'll turn down the music.

Xander Cage:
I've been risking my life for a lot of stupid reasons. This is the first one that makes sense to me.

Xander Cage:
Take off these handcuffs so I can beat the shit out you.

Xander Cage:
Is this guy gonna hump my leg or what?

Xander Cage:
The moral of the story is, don't be a dick, Dick.

Gibbons:
Why is it always the assholes who pass the test?

Yelena:
Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me?

Xander Cage:
Never again?

Yelena:
I lied.

Yelena:
I'm an agent too. I've been undercover for two years.

Xander Cage:
Two years? What was your plan? Have them die of old age?

Toby Lee Shavers:
I've always wanted to say this. Fire in the hole!

Yelena:
Do you know what a wire transfer is?

Xander Cage:
Is she for real. Sweetheart is there anything else you need to do, let us big boys have a conversation.

Yelena:
Conversation. A word with four syllables. Do you want some ice before your brain overheats.

Xander Cage:
Ice. Yeah, you could chisel some off your heart, if you could find it.

Xander Cage:
I might throw in a few extra dollars and send you to charm school.

Xander Cage:
You're okay, Yorgi

Yorgi:
Everything's okay... with enough vodka.

Gibbons:
So are you going to get on the plane or is 'Kiss my ass, Scarface?' your final answer?

Gibbons:
You've passed the test. The Gibbons Test.

Xander Cage:
These monkeys are following me because I just stole this car. . .obviously it's not mine, it ain't my style.

J.J.:
I need you to go to Pago Pago or whatever. Get a couple of girls, do 'em all I don't care

Xander Cage:
It's Bora Bora J.

Yorgi:
You of all people should appreciate what I'm trying to do. Imagine millions dead. Then imagine no one knowing who did it. This country attacks that country. That country invades this country. Chaos will reign. Governments will fall. And when it is all over, there will nothing left, but glorious, glorious freedom.

Gibbons:
The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons.

Xander Cage:
Welcome to the Xander Zone...

Xander Cage:
Shaken... and stirred.

Xander Cage:
Koyla, Yorgi's younger brother, happens to be an action sports fanatic. So naturally, he's a fan. But, when you kill a bottle of Vodka in three swigs, and your gonna talk too much.

Xander Cage:
My kind of people would say, "Kiss my ass, Scarface."

Xander Cage:
I live for this shit.

Yorgi:
Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment. Welcome to Anarchy Ninety-nine.

Milan Sova:
Everyone in this club's got two things in common; they're filthy rich and they're criminals.

Xander Cage:
I'll fit in perfect, except for the filthy rich part.