Laggies

Bethany:
What does she expect?

Megan:
That you serve some lemonade, and you ask her five to ten questions about her life.

Bethany:
[pause] Treat somebody badly enough you just assume they'll be happy to let you go.

Annika:
[approaching her in parking lot] You look like you party.

Megan:
I... guess I'm technically coming from one.

Annika:
Cool. So... we can hardly believe this, but we all forgot our IDs. And I mean, normally we would just go buy some beer ourselves. But I guess we look under 21. Which is crazy, right? I know. Um, so, if we gave you some money or something, would you help us straighten this whole problem out and buy us a six-pack or something?

Megan:
Oh, God.

Annika:
Um, you could totally keep the change.

Megan:
[stunned] Okay. Someone did this for me when I was your age, so I'm gonna do it for you. It's like a rite of passage, right?

Annika:
Yeah. Yeah, ya know, I had a good feeling about you.

Megan:
That makes one of us.

Megan:
It's not gonna make any sense, so just f***ing sue me. I'm sorry, that wasn't meant to be a lawyer joke.

Craig:
It's not a joke if it's not insulting.

Craig:
[talking shop] During mediation my client agreed to give back two of her handguns to her husband, and now shes decided they were anniversary gifts to her.

Megan:
Wow, that's romantic. Are you gonna win?

Craig:
I hope so, because it would kill me to see a mother separated from her guns.

Megan:
Do I have something on my face?

Annika:
Yeah. My dad's saliva.

Megan:
Oh, sh*t.

Craig:
I never anticipated still having to find a place where I'd fit in by the time I was an adult either. I thought you automatically got one once you had a job and a family. But it's just you, alone.

Megan:
You can't keep putting aside what you want for some imaginary future. You've gotta suck it up and go with you gut.

[last lines]

Megan:
So, did you her the one about the grown woman who fell in love with the really pissed off lawyer?

Craig:
Is it funny?

Megan:
It's really funny.

Craig:
Come here.

Megan:
[steps in side] Close the door.

Megan:
Don't make me cry. My mascara is already f***ed up enough as it is.

Megan:
Okay, I'm gonna tell you two things that I've gotten some perspective on after being out of high school for a while now. The first is that a lot of the math they're teaching you that they swear you'll use in your life, you won't. You're never going to need to use parabolas and you really, really don't need to know shapes that have more than eight f***ing sides.