Hank Marshall:
My job, sir, is to evaluate radiation hazards to United States Army personnel. My wife's not enlisted in the Army. Why doesn't the colonel concern himself with the safety of men who are, rather than the mammaries of women who are not!

Hank Marshall:
You take water, for example. Sometimes it's water, sometimes it's ice. Sometimes it's steam, vapor. It always the same old H2O. It only changes its properties. Your mother's like that. She's like water.

Carly Marshall:
I suppose we all have to grow old someday. I just don't think you got to look bad in the process.

Vera Johnson:
People like you come and go, Carly. You mean just one less Christmas card to me.