Made on Broadway

Jeff Bidwell:
Careful, Mike; careful! You are speaking of the lady I almost loved.

Terwilliger:
The dames *you've* almost loved would read from here to Chicago--laid end to end.

Jeff Bidwell:
[thinks this over a moment] What a...quaint expression.

Jeff Bidwell:
Well, Mona! How are you feeling this morning? Or have you any feelings left?

Mona:
Oh, I feel swell! Gee, it's great to have people treat you so nice--you know, have your hair washed for you and your back rubbed.

Jeff Bidwell:
Yes, but you will never know the exquisite pleasure of a nice, fresh shave.

Jeff Bidwell:
[tying his neck-tie] There are three things in this world that nobody can do for you. One is brush your hair, one is tie your tie...

Terwilliger:
And the third?

Jeff Bidwell:
You guessed!