Mars

[first lines]

Title Card:
In 1969 an estimated 500 million people watched as the first man stepped out of the Apollo lander and onto the surface of the moon. / The feat was the culmination of a space race between the United States and the Soviet Union. / A space race that pushed human beings to the VERY LIMITS OF OUR SCIENTIFIC PROWESS. / The new test of our exploratory mettle will be a manned mission to MARS. / The only problem is / We just aren't that good at stuff anymore.

Hank Morrison:
[They've just been told by Mission Control there is no hope for survival after a meteor strike] Where's the champagne?

Casey Cook:
I-I so don't want to die out here.

Charlie Brownsville:
We're not gonna die today. At least you two guys aren't.

Casey Cook:
What are you talking about?

Charlie Brownsville:
Look, I may be the redundant one here, but I do have three specialties that you two guys don't have. First off, I'm expendable.

Casey Cook:
None of us are expendable, Charlie.

Charlie Brownsville:
Come on Casey. Look, Hank's gotta fly this thing, you're a better astronaut than I'll ever be...

Casey Cook:
I didn't mean that...

Charlie Brownsville:
Look, it's true, 'n' we all know that, okay? Secondly, spacewalking. I am the best spacewalker alive today, 'least before I die out there.

Hank Morrison:
But that's irrelevant. We don't even have an EVA suit on board.

Casey Cook:
What's an EVA suit...?

Charlie Brownsville:
It's a jet pack I normally use to maneuver in space.

Hank Morrison:
You can't space walk without an EVA suit... [long pause] Duh.

Charlie Brownsville:
Well, that's where my third specialty comes in: I'm a hero. Natural-born. The bravado's a little more than skin deep.

Hank Morrison:
What are you talking about?

Charlie Brownsville:
I'm gonna hold onto the ship. I'll unfold the array myself, manually.

Casey Cook:
Oh. No. Mm-mm. That's crazy. If you let go, there's nothing to bring you back. You could die out there.

Charlie Brownsville:
I probably will, but... by this time tomorrow I'll be dead anyway. At least this way I'll die useful... right?

Hank Morrison:
He's right. Better dead useful than... worthless.