Dr. Dolittle

John Dolittle:
[after hearing Rodney speak] See, those guys in my dorm told me that stuff wouldn't affect me. [starts to cry] Now, 15 years later, this sh*t starts happenin' to me!

John Dolittle:
THAT'S ALL A' Y'ALL! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TALKIN' TO ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Rodney:
Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!

Rodney:
Hey Doc, why'd ya go and do that? Now, if he tries to eat me again, I'm gonna smack that mustache off ya face!

Rodney:
[stands on a vibrating machine] Thaaaaat feels gooooood!

Lucky:
Why don't you watch where you're going next time, you bonehead!

Archer:
Son, I think you need a vacation.

Skunk:
You're standing on my tail, you idiot.

German Shepherd:
Don't fix me, OK. Please DON'T fix me! I won't look at another female ever, I swear! Anything but my manhood, man! Not my manhood! Please oh... [Notices a Collie which resembles 'Lassie'] Yo baby, wassup ? You lookin' pretty sweet there sugar.

Young John:
Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?

Prologue Dog:
Well, this is kinda our way of shaking hands. If you really wanna get a sense of who somebody really is, you gotta sniff their butt.

Archer:
Son! Stop talking to the dog. She doesn't understand a word that you're saying.

Young John:
[about the prologue dog after she is given up for adoption] She was my best friend.

Archer:
You'll make some real friends now.

Lucky:
From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.

Archer:
Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.

John:
Who's this?

Rodney:
I'll give you a hint. I'm cute, I'm furry, and I make five hundred babies a year!

Maya:
Can I tell you a secret?

Archer:
Yeah, sure.

Maya:
When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid, I was happy because I believed that he could talk to animals. I want Dad to be weird, just like me. Is that wrong?

Archer:
No. No, it's not wrong.

Maya:
Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.

Archer:
Honey, he loves you.

Maya:
I know he loves me, but I don't think he likes me and I want him to. I gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa, and stop doing these stupid experiments.

Baby Alligator:
Mama?

Rodney:
Mama? I'm not your mama.

Baby Alligator:
Mama?

Voice Cast:
Lucky - Norm Macdonald

Voice Cast:
Jacob - Albert Brooks

Voice Cast:
Rodney - Chris Rock

Voice Cast:
Prologue Dog - Ellen DeGeneres

Voice Cast:
Rat #1 - Reni Santoni

Voice Cast:
Rat #2 - John Leguizamo

Voice Cast:
Female Pigeon - Julie Kavner

Voice Cast:
Male Pigeon - Garry Shandling

Voice Cast:
Owl - Jenna Elfman

Baby Alligator:
Mama?

Rodney:
Mama? I'm not your mama.

Baby Alligator:
Mama?

Lucky:
Oh no, don't look at me. Though there was that one time I got drunk in the Everglades.

John Dolittle:
LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TALKIN' TO ME!!! [screams three times]