Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom

Brandon:
Wade was in a car accident?

Ricky:
Noah nursed him back to health.

Brandon:
That's so romantic.

Ricky:
Except what lead to the crash was a fight between Wade and his boyfriend, after he caught Wade and Noah gettin' busy.

Brandon:
Sounds like a soap opera.

Ricky:
Which is exactly why it won't work. Life is not a soap opera.

Noah:
So we release them, and then?

Brandon:
They fly away?

Wade:
This time of year, wouldn't they just freeze to death?

Ricky:
The perfect metaphor for the joys of marriage.

Brandon:
But what about the whole top-bottom thing? Isn't that kind of limiting? Kind of like a parody of heterosexual relationships?

Wade:
What do you mean?

Brandon:
Because, like I'm versatile, right? So, do you ever want Mr. Nicholson to f*** you?

Wade:
Who says he doesn't already?

Brandon:
Are you sure you're going to be okay, Mr. Robinson?

Wade:
Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry guys, I didn't think I had that much to drink.

Eddie:
It's not a real bachelor party unless someone blows chunks.

Ricky:
Between me and you, I've always wondered what all the fuss is about. What makes him so crazy about you?

Wade:
Well, between me and you, I've always wondered what the fuss was about you. How come nobody ever turns you down? Not even Arturo.

Ricky:
Yeah?

Wade:
Yeah. [they kiss]

Brandy:
Now listen up. Life is the script, Noah. You're the writer of your own life. It's time to take control.

Ricky:
I love you. Not as a friend or as a girlfriend, more than that. And every guy I meet pales in comparison, they're just bodies. I love you. And the words burn to my mouth because I know you don't love me.

Noah:
Ricky...

Ricky:
Not that way, I know. It's my burden and I'm sorry if it sometimes makes me act like a jerk. But I know one thing.

Noah:
What?

Ricky:
I will always have your back. Always. And I know something else. You love Wade.

Noah:
I'm sorry.

Wade:
I'm sorry too. You know nothing happened, just a drunken kiss.

Noah:
Same with Baby Gat... minus the kiss.

Chance:
For me, the life of the mind has always come first. I can't be happy if it doesn't. But, I will never love anybody as much as I love you. I don't want a life with anyone but you. And I will give you all the love I have to give another human being.

Eddie:
Can we make a vow? To make what we have between us an adventure. To say yes to everything remarkable and amazing.

Chance:
To be always rebuilding the temple.

Eddie:
To be always rebuilding the temple.

Chance:
T.S. Eliot. [pauses] I slept with Brandon.

Eddie:
I know.

Chance:
I missed you.

Eddie:
As well you should have. And by the way, the answer is yes.

Chance:
What's the question?

Eddie:
Do I forgive you?

Brandy:
I gotta tell you, your son is marrying a wonderful human being. I'd snap either of them up in a minute, but, you know...

Mrs. Robinson:
Beautiful girl like you, and you're not married? [gasps] You're a lesbian, I'm sorry.

Brandy:
Ugh, girl, I wish. I'm dickly.

Brandy, Alex:
[together] Strictly.

Wade:
When I first saw you, it wasn't love at first sight. You were intriguing, fascinating, remarkable, but you were a man. When I first started to feel things for you, I didn't know what those things were, because you were a man. When I first told you I loved you, trembling inside, so full of fear that I could hardly breathe, I could see the hesitation in your eyes. I could feel your fear. And when... words are just words, [crumples up notes] and talk is cheap. I asked you to marry me, because marriage is a deed. I asked you to marry me here in my family's home, to prove to you that I have no shame. To place our names together, in front of the whole world, so that the whole world can bend for us and for our love. And in front of your friends, who I will learn to love, because you love them, and because they love you. All this I did for you, and all this I'll do for us. I'll be courageous, forbearing. I'll be loving, I'll be kind, I will take all that trembles inside you, and place it safely in the palm of my hand. Forever.

Noah:
When I first saw you, it wasn't love at first sight. You were intriguing, fascinating, remarkable. But you were straight, or so I thought. Or so you thought. [all chuckle] But my love for you grew quietly, just past the corner of my eye. Watered by time, in tears, in kisses. I knew I loved you when just the sight of you pierced me with a fear and longing beyond lust. When I wanted to give you the world, and receive nothing in return, but your smile. And this I will do for you, and this I'll do for us. Be kind, be honest, be fearless, be true. I will be your port in the storm and your shield in the battle. And when the time comes for us to go to the long home of our ancestors, I will dance with you there.

[Mrs. Robertson has unexpectedly arrived at Noah and Wade's wedding]

Alex:
Girl, this is worse than an episode of "Jerry Springer".

Brandy:
Uh-uh, "Maury Povitch".

Alex:
Oh gir'.