Nobel Son

City Hall:
Crazy's just a choice, Barkley.

Eli Michaelson:
If anyone in this room ever doubted my intellectual superiority, or your get fortune to be under my incomparable tutelage, you can now formally kiss my fine white ass.

Sarah Michaelson:
I leave you with a question. A northern California dairy farmer murders 3 young girls, performs sexual acts with their dead bodies, then eat portions of their fleshy thighs - is the dairy farmer crazy?

Class Members:
[all nod yes]

Sarah Michaelson:
And let me give you a hint, this is not a question that can be answered with a yes, or a no, or a f*** yeah.

Harvey Parrish:
I'm a scientist too, and my empirical observations tell me that someone's going to shoot you long before I ever fire you.

City Hall:
Tomorrow I'm off to claim my Nobel Prize. Joining me will be my wife, Sarah, who I am certain has only been able to put up with my manias and eccentricities all these years because her definition of crazy is so narrow.

Barkley Michaelson:
[first time trying to talk her] I wish I could offer to buy you a hamburger or something, but I don't have any money at all.

City Hall:
I'm a vegetarian.

Barkley Michaelson:
That's uh, that's a good thing, especially since if I ever have to eat you. Because vegetarians taste better than carrion eaters.

Eli Michaelson:
I'll tell you, it's lonely at the top.

Bill Canepa:
Sir?

Eli Michaelson:
You're lucky you're not a genius.

Bill Canepa:
If we get your son back alive, Dr. Michaelson, we're all geniuses.

Barkley Michaelson:
It isn't evil to eat the dead. It's recycling. True evil is to eat a man alive.

[last lines]

Eli Michaelson:
[to student] I'm free tonight. And you?

[first lines]

Barkley Michaelson:
The French essayist, Michel de Montaigne, once said, "I think there is more barbarity in eating a man alive than in eating him dead." The wisdom of it. When you were a kid with an open soul, they told the world consists of good guys and bad guys. I always liked the bad guys. Scar Face over Superman.