One Hundred Men and a Girl

Himself, Leopold Stokowski:
[Patsy has come to apologize for telling a newspaper that Stokowski would be conducting her orchestra of jobless musicians] But why did you do it? You must have had a reason.

Patricia "Patsy" Cardwell:
Oh, yes! I had a hundred reasons! Would you like to hear them?

Himself, Leopold Stokowski:
I certainly would.

Patricia "Patsy" Cardwell:
[Goes to the door of his study and counts:] One! Two! Three! Four! [And Stokowski suddenly hears "Hungarian Rhapsody" as clear as a bell inside his own house! He and she go out onto his balcony overlooking the entryway. The 100 men are standing on the stairway, playing] Those are my reasons. I thought you'd like to hear them. [Stokowski listens until the piece is nearly over, and then starts conducting with his hands]

Tommy Bitters:
[Having just had Frost light a cigarette for him only to have it explode in his mouth] When are you going to stop playing these cheap childish tricks on me?

John R. Frost:
The day you stop playing them on me.

Tommy Bitters:
Well, at least mine are funny, and new!

John R. Frost:
Oh, yeah? Well, mine work.